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Old 05-12-2015, 03:50 PM
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Katastr0ph1k Katastr0ph1k is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: WA
Posts: 22

Very true, Idlewild, in regards to using or not using clergy.

I personally would want someone to perform it for us, but that's my preference (and perhaps not the Wifey's or Hubs). We'd want to still have the party (food, music, dancing, mingling), but none of our families beyond our kids would be in attendance, as they're all too far away. Hubs and I are already legally married, so that's a non-issue.

I think we also want to throw a party and celebrate our relationship, just like when you're monogamous and have the wedding and just want to have fun
Polyamorous, straight mom with a penchant for knitting, singing loudly in the car, falling from horses, and generally leaving chaos in my wake.

Part of a V - Me, Hubs and Wifey.
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Old 05-12-2015, 04:00 PM
idlewild idlewild is offline
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 8

Yeah, a family-friendly festival might be a good option then. You can have clergy, and a whole festival full of people to help you make the day special: musicians, artists, etc. I know people who have decided to get married AFTER arriving at PSG and it was easy because there are food vendors, clothing/jewelry vendors, clergy, musicians, dancers, etc... already on-site. And you have random supportive strangers show up to cheer you on!

I would recommend planning ahead though. With some planning and looking up glamping tips you could have a really lovely ceremony and reception.
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Old 05-31-2015, 12:49 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,392

I just had a handfasting - I posted about it in my blog, and on the board. The officiant we used has ties to the UU church and to pagans. We had the option of tailoring the ceremony to be a more traditional sort of church service or calling the corners and such. Ours was an elopement too.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (43M)
Seeing SirGawain (39M)
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Old 09-01-2015, 04:53 PM
Willow64 Willow64 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Washington
Posts: 46

Although I am but a polywog in the poly community, I have been a practicing pagan for over 10. I learned the majority of my primary information from my pagan friends. There seem to a be a large number of more open-minded people in this pagan community and I think that the general thinking is that when any intimate relationship is done with love, respect and trust, it is GOOD. Sneaking around, cheating and hurting others would be considered wrong in a pagan relationship, so being transparent, open and respectful in a poly relationship is great!
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Old 09-01-2015, 04:55 PM
Willow64 Willow64 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Washington
Posts: 46

I might add too that a handfasting is such a great option for the polyamorous couple. It's a binding, a commitment, but without obligation for a civil ceremony or piece of paper. My 2nd partner and I want a handfasting when the time is right. I am also ordained, so I do these for poly couples.
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Old 04-12-2017, 01:29 PM
JK40 JK40 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Uk
Posts: 58

I came home to wicca 14 months ago, and entered my first poly relationship since february this year. It does seem to me that poly and paganism go together a lot. I think it is something to do with our belief system, that we tend to be open minded people who think for ourselves and welcome all.

I actually had something in my mind from early on in my poly relationship, and came across the subject covered here yesterday, and on a wiccan website, that confirmed my thoughts. It was about handfastening. I had wondered if it was something that would be ideal for those of us who are poly where one or more are legally married. (Though I believe handfastening should be on one hand but on the other if it was then the bigwigs who feel they decide what should be imposed on us all, would make it legal only the once, but that is a huge topic lol)

I personally finally feel i am myself, I have never been happier. I never conformed to societies norms, as such, whose to say we can't love more than one partner at a time?
Me: 40 f. Bi. Sub.
AB 45 m. Hetro. Hinge.

Apologies for any typos, I am dyslexic and don't always spot them.
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Old 04-14-2017, 01:13 PM
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Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: NW Minnesota
Posts: 1,149

Just as there's a lot of Monogamist baggage that's dragged along into nonmonogamy, nobody should be surprised to find unexamined Xtian prejudices in Neopaganism.

One problem I've always had with handfasting: how do you break up? I sat down with a few friends & created a "way-parting" ceremony some years ago; we encouraged people to keep it in mind, in part hoping that it might make breakups at least a little more amicable by putting it in a Wiccan context.

This also forced a few people to confront their prejudices that (1) handfasting would last forever (2) because they were Wiccan now & forever free of responsibility.

There are other factors that likely ought be considered as well. For instance, if one person wants to leave a triad, doesn't that mean that three relationships end -- two dyads + the triad -- & must be explicitly recognized, if not each receive their own separate rite?

In open-structure nonmonogamy, anyone else who participated or spoke in support should probably also be included in the parting, even if symbolically (like having a note read blessing the relationship as well as its end).

I still believe that when a closed ("fidelitous") clade is being created, it would be spiritually positive to ritually separate ("divorce") any "founding couple" in order to create the new relationship upon an ACTUAL foundation of equality.
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acceptance by a group, paganism and polyamory

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