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Old 05-27-2010, 04:41 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by whoKnows View Post
To me my wife is the most beautiful girl in the world & I'm not sure how she ended up with me
hehe... my husband says the same thing And if you're anything like him, you've got some amazing qualities that go much deeper than mere appearances, which fade anyway even with the sexiest of eye candy.

-No hook ups with anyone in any of the bars in our local area. We put a 20 mile radius on our house, as a no play zone
Just remember: if you ever decide to become serial criminals, that's how they always track them down on TV... Seems that criminals have the same sort of "safety zone" around their house, and when you plot it out on the map, it becomes the bull's eye on a big target.

-When we hang out with friends/family etc. we give the impression we are Monogamous
May I ask, is this "your" rule or your wife's? I just want to make sure this doesn't cause her to feel any shame over her lifestyle. I don't know what your lives are like, and I do have friends who have to stay in the closet because it could adversely affect their careers. But it's nice if you have at least one or two close friends you can confide in and lean on for support when things get difficult.

Plus some of the usual rules -

-No past boyfriends/girlfriends
I don't know if that's really a "usual rule" ... at least not the way "safe sex" most certainly is. A lot of people get to a point where it doesn't matter whether someone was an ex or not. Myself personally, I'm actually LESS threatened by my husband's exes -- if there were any risk of them running off together, they would have done it already. They broke up for a reason, and those reasons aren't soon forgotten.

I think that's about it, are rules are always fluid & we tend to re-visit them every few months to see how things are going.
That, to me, is the most important thing about poly-rules. They're fine in the beginning to establish trust and comfort, but eventually they can stand in the way of expressing yourself. And once you establish that your partner is respecting you and is trying to support your needs, rules become redundant.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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