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Old 05-25-2010, 11:37 AM
Goodwife91325 Goodwife91325 is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Default New and making transition

Hello All - I have been reading the posts and boards and am really excited to have found the group. My husband and I have been married almost 5 years,
2nd time for us both.

We started exploring the swing lifestyle about 6 months into our relationship and after a lot, and I mean A LOT of talking and working though things had transitioned to allowing each other to have 1 on 1 relationships. I will admit I was more into the "sport fucking" until I met someone who rocked my world and demanded more of me in terms of relationship and commitment.

Unfortunately after 6 months it was just not healthy for me and ended, but I have since met someone else who is wonderful. I was/am so tired of the meaningless hook-ups, but knew I was not getting all my needs met in marriage for many reasons, which I will spare you the gory details, but our outside liaisons/playing is consensual and I will say with all my heart that my marriage is in good standing and our relationship is healthy.

With that being said, someone a longtime back had told me about polyamory and for some reason the word popped into my head today and after google search here I am, it was like fireworks, 8.0 earthquake and a million watt light bulb all going off at the same time. THIS IS WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR.

My #2 , OR 1A as he refers to himself, is a wonderful guy, and hubby is fully supportive of the growing relationship. I am just trying to make sense of this, learn what it really is about, how to deal with handling two interpersonal relationships but knowing that it is just right, that somehow, some way, this is where I was meant to be and that loving two wonderful men, who do get along and are fully willing to share my love and affection is a near-perfect situation for me.

So, I am here to learn, explore, and grow with the hopefully loving guidance and support from those who have traveled this road before me. I feel giddy, empowered, optimistic, and scared S#&*less.

Hubby or #1, is open minded, happy to have me happy and openly looking for his own 1A person. Not sure about the triad/quad thing, so far sexually we have had very cohesive 3-some, hubby is bi and 1A is "bi-social" and accepting of the attention from the 2 of us. We have an early D/s relationship growing with me and 1A, which is something I have wanted to explore for quite some time but with hubby being basically sexually submissive just has not happened, so I am excited in that realm to finally find someone to meet those needs/desires as well.

Sorry if I seem to be rambling, I am just so excited to finally have found group where it seems like people who can relate, not judge and offer support and guidance as I/we begin this journey. I eagerly look forward to reading through the many posts and also hopefully getting feed back from some of you.

Last edited by redpepper; 05-27-2010 at 05:02 AM. Reason: added paragraphs.
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Old 05-25-2010, 05:45 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Welcome to the forums, sounds like a great relationship
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Old 05-25-2010, 09:04 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Welcome!!! You probably have a lot to contribute here!!! Take some time to read, read, read and post, post, post!!! I have a feeling you will be giving advice here soon!!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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Old 05-27-2010, 04:50 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by Goodwife91325 View Post
I will admit I was more into the "sport fucking" until I met someone who rocked my world and demanded more of me in terms of relationship and committment. Unfortunately after 6 months it was just not healthy for me and ended
I always have a problem with "demands" as such. It's perfectly fine for a person to say "I have such-and-such needs and they are not being met in this relationship" and I don't think of that as demanding. The key part is what comes next: Do they "demand" that you change in order to meet their needs, or do they just tell you that if their needs are not met, they must end the relationship?

So good to hear you got yourself out of that unhealthy situation and were able to find something better! Welcome to the forum!
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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Old 05-27-2010, 05:04 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Pardon me, I added paragraphs to your post, I find it easier to read that way as I have dyslexia... since becoming a mod this is all I really know how to do... I have the powa

welcome to the forum.
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Old 05-28-2010, 04:10 PM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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Location: Las Vegas
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Welcome, and gratz! I wish you well with everything to come!!!
-"There hasn't been a person i've been with that I didn't love for 10 seconds to 10 years." David Duchovny
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