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Old 07-01-2013, 11:52 AM
Hetaera Hetaera is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northeast
Posts: 66
Default His wife ended our relationship

So my lover's wife told him that if he keeps seeing me, she won't have sex with him....like if he'd like to keep seeing me for another month or so, she just won't have sex with him. WTF? I don't want to be part of that. I'm not sure how it's ok that 1 person gets to make a decision that affects 3 people. He can't tell me the specific reasons why she wants to end up so as to not betray her confidence. Of course, I'm about 99.9% sure she's read our private messages based on comments she's made. He doesn't believe she'd do that, but I do. So my privacy can be violated but hers cant? Again, WTF?

I have another lover but still. Anyway, we're still going to be friends & I'm still invited to come stay with them, we're just not allowed to have sex, which is more or less ok. I am a rational being & when emotions come into play, I understand that they are not rational. My lover & I are very close & I couldn't stand the thought of losing his friendship as much as I love the sexual part of our relationship. I did ask that we make love one last time or at least be able to spend an evening alone even if sex is completely off the table. I hope I get my wish, I feel like I need the closure. I'm glad I just came off of a great weekend with the former love of my life or I feel like I'd be even more hurt. Nothing like a little distraction to ease the pain.

This just happened last night so it's pretty fresh. I'll get over it but it's not feeling great right now...oh well. I feel like I've learned a lot from this experience. I might be a little more careful in my choice of relationships next time but I can't say that I have any regrets.
Me- Bi-female-early 40s- Single Mom to 2 young boys
Exploring & having fun for the time being after a long & unhappy marriage

There is no failure. Only feedback. -Robert Allen

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