Bluebird
Well-known member
My 24 - almost 25 - year old son lives in my basement. He pays rent, which we dutifully note on our taxes, and he works part time as well as attends one college class a semester. He's considered permanently disabled due to mental health challenges that came from when he was a child - before I adopted him when he was 12 - and I am listed as his representative payee on his checking accounts.
Why do I mention this? Oh, maybe because it is stressing me out beyond belief this week! Everything that can be a mess IS a mess right now. We need to get him signed up for his class in the Fall right now, but the college registration system is having issues. That's the first problem, but it's a minor one. Classes don't start until August, so I have a month to deal with that. We've had discussions surrounding changing his major, and I know which classes he's interested in taking. So that's been tabled for a couple of weeks until I have time to deal with it. Ok, breathing.
Second problem - just got a stack of papers in the mail from his therapy office, detailing every visit and payment since 2012. He goes twice a month, so the stack is several pages. Apparently, they are just contacting me now, but at some point, the insurance company stopped paying $80 of his $110 visit cost, and instead started covering just $45 of it. For two years. No one said anything until now. So we have this huge bill. My son has Medicare, so they should be picking up the rest of the amount, but they didn't. Ever. Again, no one said anything. So I get this pack of paperwork with a handwritten note telling me to work it out with the insurance companies soon, or my son will have to cover all of this. At the time it initially happened, I could have covered it in our flexible spending account and things would have been peachy. I can't back-bill the flex account though, so this will be like - surprise! pay this out of your regular monthly budget! Blargh!
So my afternoon is going to be spent on the phone dealing with this today. Lovely. Hopefully it's JUST this afternoon and not the rest of the week.
Third issue - my son works through a "supported employment" agency. They helped him find the job, they meet with him once a week, sometimes transport him to his job, and as part of the service, I was told they would be reporting his wages to social security. Ok. Well, he started this last August. In that time frame, he's had like 6 workers. It has come to my attention this month that they have NOT been reporting his wages to social security. The first worker from way back when never set it up. Guess who gets in trouble for not reporting? Me. Because I am the rep payee. So he's been getting about $200 a month MORE in benefits each month since August. So, this week, I get to go over to the social security office and try to sort this mess out without going to jail. I don't think I'll go to jail, but if they think for some reason I was trying to screw over the government, I could. Lovely, happy horseshit. At the minimum, I will be responsible for paying back the $2000+ that he received in overpayments. Hopefully they will just reduce his payments moving forward and we can work it out that way. FML
Issue #4 is in regards to our intent to move out of state. I am unsure if he will want to move. He was very resistant to moving to Maryland when we came here from NY. Most of our extended family is in NY, and all of his birthfamily is there. It doesn't really matter though - at the present time he is very incapable of living alone. He doesn't monitor his hygiene or personal space. He has attempted to live independently in the past and failed miserably. There is no one else who is willing to work with him, within our family. So he will either need to relocate with us, or we will need to plug into services that will assist in monitoring him while he moves out and tries to again establish himself. This is very scary to think about, but even more stressful to try and find programs that will do this. I don't have the time at the moment. I will have to find time to discuss it with him, but right now, issues 1-3 are more of a priority. He is stressed about these 3 things too, and I don't want to overwhelm him until we get them sorted.
Just venting. Most of this should be dealt with this week; it'll just take time and it's a headache.
Why do I mention this? Oh, maybe because it is stressing me out beyond belief this week! Everything that can be a mess IS a mess right now. We need to get him signed up for his class in the Fall right now, but the college registration system is having issues. That's the first problem, but it's a minor one. Classes don't start until August, so I have a month to deal with that. We've had discussions surrounding changing his major, and I know which classes he's interested in taking. So that's been tabled for a couple of weeks until I have time to deal with it. Ok, breathing.
Second problem - just got a stack of papers in the mail from his therapy office, detailing every visit and payment since 2012. He goes twice a month, so the stack is several pages. Apparently, they are just contacting me now, but at some point, the insurance company stopped paying $80 of his $110 visit cost, and instead started covering just $45 of it. For two years. No one said anything until now. So we have this huge bill. My son has Medicare, so they should be picking up the rest of the amount, but they didn't. Ever. Again, no one said anything. So I get this pack of paperwork with a handwritten note telling me to work it out with the insurance companies soon, or my son will have to cover all of this. At the time it initially happened, I could have covered it in our flexible spending account and things would have been peachy. I can't back-bill the flex account though, so this will be like - surprise! pay this out of your regular monthly budget! Blargh!
So my afternoon is going to be spent on the phone dealing with this today. Lovely. Hopefully it's JUST this afternoon and not the rest of the week.
Third issue - my son works through a "supported employment" agency. They helped him find the job, they meet with him once a week, sometimes transport him to his job, and as part of the service, I was told they would be reporting his wages to social security. Ok. Well, he started this last August. In that time frame, he's had like 6 workers. It has come to my attention this month that they have NOT been reporting his wages to social security. The first worker from way back when never set it up. Guess who gets in trouble for not reporting? Me. Because I am the rep payee. So he's been getting about $200 a month MORE in benefits each month since August. So, this week, I get to go over to the social security office and try to sort this mess out without going to jail. I don't think I'll go to jail, but if they think for some reason I was trying to screw over the government, I could. Lovely, happy horseshit. At the minimum, I will be responsible for paying back the $2000+ that he received in overpayments. Hopefully they will just reduce his payments moving forward and we can work it out that way. FML
Issue #4 is in regards to our intent to move out of state. I am unsure if he will want to move. He was very resistant to moving to Maryland when we came here from NY. Most of our extended family is in NY, and all of his birthfamily is there. It doesn't really matter though - at the present time he is very incapable of living alone. He doesn't monitor his hygiene or personal space. He has attempted to live independently in the past and failed miserably. There is no one else who is willing to work with him, within our family. So he will either need to relocate with us, or we will need to plug into services that will assist in monitoring him while he moves out and tries to again establish himself. This is very scary to think about, but even more stressful to try and find programs that will do this. I don't have the time at the moment. I will have to find time to discuss it with him, but right now, issues 1-3 are more of a priority. He is stressed about these 3 things too, and I don't want to overwhelm him until we get them sorted.
Just venting. Most of this should be dealt with this week; it'll just take time and it's a headache.