An update --
After many years of searching I finally have experience dating someone in a poly context that felt even more emotionally intense than my most intense monogamous relationships. Right now that relationship is going through a difficult transition/de-escalation due to her NRE dropping off rather strongly after 8 months of dating (see my new thread but please realize that the details in my first post there don't constitute a fair depiction of the whole story). We had initially been mostly monogamous in practice even while identifying as poly, but now she has begun dating somebody new and has less interest in spending lots of time with me. I'm really really appreciating the contrast between going through this in a monogamous situation when it would result in a cataclysmic breakup vs in a poly situation where we can figure out how to continue the relationship going forward and stay close friends and lovers and reap the benefits of a long-term relationship even if we spend less time together.
This is very rewarding (and very painful though not as painful as my monogamous breakups) and makes me start to think that poly maybe really is a better way for me to conduct my love life rather than mono. Now I hope I can find an additional partner or two so that my love life is completely fulfilled and do what I would consider "living the poly dream" -- have long-term, loving, and sexual relationships with multiple partners simultaneously. I've never lived the poly dream before, mostly just casually dated a couple people at once short-term, and it's exciting that I'm closer than I've ever been to that dream, even though still very far away.
After many years of searching I finally have experience dating someone in a poly context that felt even more emotionally intense than my most intense monogamous relationships. Right now that relationship is going through a difficult transition/de-escalation due to her NRE dropping off rather strongly after 8 months of dating (see my new thread but please realize that the details in my first post there don't constitute a fair depiction of the whole story). We had initially been mostly monogamous in practice even while identifying as poly, but now she has begun dating somebody new and has less interest in spending lots of time with me. I'm really really appreciating the contrast between going through this in a monogamous situation when it would result in a cataclysmic breakup vs in a poly situation where we can figure out how to continue the relationship going forward and stay close friends and lovers and reap the benefits of a long-term relationship even if we spend less time together.
This is very rewarding (and very painful though not as painful as my monogamous breakups) and makes me start to think that poly maybe really is a better way for me to conduct my love life rather than mono. Now I hope I can find an additional partner or two so that my love life is completely fulfilled and do what I would consider "living the poly dream" -- have long-term, loving, and sexual relationships with multiple partners simultaneously. I've never lived the poly dream before, mostly just casually dated a couple people at once short-term, and it's exciting that I'm closer than I've ever been to that dream, even though still very far away.