Huge Problem likely Small Issue for your veterans, please help

...dealing with people who believe they are genetically predetermined to lord over others...
Do you think it's better for people to presumptuously call another a supremacist under the guise of "if so"? NYC didn't even wait to get an answer back about whether or not I meant "being the 'cultured westerner' who would save them from themselves". She/He just launched into his/her presumption calling me all kinds of bigoted words. I don't need to "lord over" that, or be "genetically predetermined" to say that NYC was disrespectful. And I do so, so she/he can have either better restraint in the future, or more respectful communication.
 
The guy is trolling. He is amusing himself by playing a vulgar stereotype up so he can watch as everyone scrambles to defend views that support elitism and genetic superiority when he feigns persecution.

In other words: how funny would it be to take a bunch of anything goes sexual idealists and manipulate them into defending one of the worst shades of non monogamy known to history?
 
Do you think it's better for people to presumptuously call another a supremacist under the guise of "if so"? NYC didn't even wait to get an answer back about whether or not I meant "being the 'cultured westerner' who would save them from themselves". She/He just launched into his/her presumption calling me all kinds of bigoted words. I don't need to "lord over" that, or be "genetically predetermined" to say that NYC was disrespectful. And I do so, so she/he can have either better restraint in the future, or more respectful communication.

I'd like to see a photo of you and your staff atop your glorious island estate with you holding up a paper bearing today's date and a piece of paper with your username written on it. Toss in your GF and some of the kiddies as gravy.
 
"do things my way and I'll feed you and buy you things, or you can leave and I won't buy you things anymore"
I don't think it's all that uncommon for relationships, marriages, to be in that structure. Where if the provider is feeling unappreciated they eventually must change things out of that discord. And there are millions of relationships across the nation of the United States alone, where one person brings home the bacon and the other takes care of house and family while they're gone. This is not outlandish. The way you describe it using flippant opinionated summarization maybe, but not if you use my words.
 
"cherry-picking"
There has been no deliberate cherry picking going on here. I even take the time to respond to the most useless of your responses. Your "cherry picking" defense is just a result of insecurities about your words not getting any attention. But that is not deliberate on my, or any others parts (as far as I can tell). It's a big thread. We're trying to spend time talking about as much as we can. I am not afraid to talk about anything. If you feel something you said or another said has been neglected, bump it up in a quote, and we'll address it. We've taken ample time to do discuss as much as we can. I can vouch for myself in saying that I try my best to answer everybody in this thread, if it even has an ounce of relevance or related relevance.
 
I'd like to see a photo of you and your staff atop your glorious island estate with you holding up a paper bearing today's date and a piece of paper with your username written on it. Toss in your GF and some of the kiddies as gravy.
Oh FFS, don't be lazy and do your own research to work out whether this is legit or not. I did.
 
The guy is trolling. He is amusing himself by playing a vulgar stereotype up so he can watch as everyone scrambles to defend views that support elitism and genetic superiority when he feigns persecution.
Not at all. There's something about you that has gotten you to the point of getting me all wrong. You have jumped to a judgement about me too soon. I can tell you honestly, you have got me wrong. From my heart, what you describe is not at all my motivation for being here, posting this thread, or replying to anyone. You've got me completely wrong.
In other words: how funny would it be to take a bunch of anything goes sexual idealists and manipulate them into defending one of the worst shades of non monogamy known to history?
Not what I'm interested in. I have a very open and accepting mind.
 
I'd like to see a photo of you and your staff atop your glorious island estate with you holding up a paper bearing today's date and a piece of paper with your username written on it. Toss in your GF and some of the kiddies as gravy.
Oh my goodness. You really think I am just a troll like that? This has been a serious discussion from the get go.

(however that was funny! lol) ;)
 
Have you heard of a book called "The Bell Curve"? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bell_Curve) Do you think that people, due to socio-economic factors, are equally sophisticated in the ghettos of Detroit as they are at Harvard?

Do you think that brains are just...equal? That there is no difference in how they develop around different behavior and environments?[/COLOR]

Yes, I’m aware of the Bell Curve. It’s likely that many people on here are. I wrote a critique of it when doing my postgrad in psychology. I think it’s interesting how people like co-author Murray (who opposes any sort of welfare state or state help for the poor) can find “proof” that people from ethnic minorities are, well, simply, just less intelligent than Westerners. Of course this means there’s no need to have policies to help them do better; they are poor because they’re not as clever and therefore have less of a potential to succeed. Incredible stuff, and on par with the brain size theories which (conveniently) hypothesise that black people and women are less intelligent than white men. I say convenient because, of course, IQ testing – and even the concept of IQ – is a paradigm which was devised and peer reviewed by… white Western men, for the most part. The fact that the sort of knowledge and skill tested is socially and culturally relative, and that they are not even considering the equal validity of other forms of knowing or understanding in other parts of the world is incredible… well, I could go on, but I won’t. Because as has been rightly pointed out this is a forum about polyamory.

But I will add this: it seems to me that Evan is a essentially a polygamist, not a polyamorist. Nothing wrong with that, but it is different.
 
Oh FFS, don't be lazy and do your own research to work out whether this is legit or not. I did.

Oh call it a show of good faith for others. I've already come to my own conclusions. I don't care enough about out polying anyone to be civil in the face of sexual slavery. I'll leave that to you.
 
But I will add this: it seems to that Evan is a essentially a polygamist, not a polyamorist. Nothing wrong with that, but it is different.
I am curious as to what you see as the distinction.

My understanding is that polygamy is marrying more than one, a "plural marriage". This include polygyny (one man, many women married to that man) and polyandry (one woman, many men married to the woman).

Polyamory is loving more than one. There are no subtypes based gender, since they all get lumped into the same thing.

So based on my understanding, since he is not looking to marry any of the women, and since there is a requirement that love be involved, it falls under polyamory for me.

Is your understanding of the definitions different?
 
PolyPhonic, part of the problem I see here is that your background, upbringing and lifestyle are so fundamentally different from nearly everyone on here (and most of society). As a consequence your paradigms, based on your life experiences, are very very different from others here. Some of the things that are, in your experience, completely natural and normal are triggers for others. Some of what you are seeing is this mismatch of paradigms, and have generated hostile reactions. Some of these reactions may well seem quite foreign to you - you may not realise why people are reacting so vehemently to the things you are saying.
I know what you mean, but I don't really think so. And I mean that from a place of considering what you said from the outside looking in. I grew up in Orange County the son of a widowed mother, with one sister. After mom remarried when I was 8, that brought in two step-sisters. I learned to live very comfortably around girl power, with my 3 sisters and my mom around me all the time while step-dad worked. We struggled to get by and lived in an apartment for years in a small beach town. I went to public school with regular kids, mostly hispanic and grew up non-racist to the point of defending my friends when they faced prejudice. I was treated special by my mom, because of my talents, gifts, and IQ, but I rejected being treated like that opting for being the same as everyone else. I could have went the route of MIT and trying for a Nobel Prize, but my passion for music and psychology led me to writing music for movies. I led a pretty typical life with friends I didn't choose necessarily. Good people from all walks of the lower-middle class. My first wife was from Michigan, a very typical mid-westerner and we'd spend ample time together in Michigan with her various family in Chicago as well.

The fact that I now live on an island in the Caribbean, a common fantasy, is simply because I was daring enough to try. I have friends who want to do the same, and I tell them how easy it is, and they are surprised. They thought they had to become millionaires to have such a dream come true. But you can live like a King here, in a mansion, for less than $2k a month. That is very typical of most retirements in the Caribbean. When they hear that, they're view of me being so different from them disappears and doing what I'm doing is not so far from their reach. It just so happens that I work over the internet, in an industry where I get income for the rest of my life for the hours I put in. It also just so happens that I worked 120+ hours a week for 10 years to get here. I don't think any of my path has been all that different than anyone else's. I've been through pretty much the same kinds of social experiences.

I've had to endure a couple of tragedies, but I was smarter than to get too emotional about them and let it consume me, and instead continued on with my life. I really don't think I'm all too different than any other person in California where I was raised. Maybe people in California are "so different" than the rest of the USA? But 1 in 10 people in the United States of America lives in California, so I think being 1 of 10 people really can't make me that many different degrees of separation difference between the rest of us all.
 
I am curious as to what you see as the distinction.

My understanding is that polygamy is marrying more than one, a "plural marriage". This include polygyny (one man, many women married to that man) and polyandry (one woman, many men married to the woman).

Polyamory is loving more than one. There are no subtypes based gender, since they all get lumped into the same thing.

So based on my understanding, since he is not looking to marry any of the women, and since there is a requirement that love be involved, it falls under polyamory for me.

Is your understanding of the definitions different?
You know what, I am getting to the point that maybe I am too. But I'm heading out the door (snorkeling at the reef beckons), so I'll explore this when I come back. I really feel I am a Polyamorist, just that I am not setup to be egalitarian like most working women working man relationships.
 
This thread is now closed to be reviewed by the mods. Upon review it may or may not be re-opened. Please take your discussion to PM or move on.
 
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This thread is now open.

It has been moved to the blog section so that the author can continue his writing on it with minimum input if he wishes. The mod staff expect that there will be civil conduct here. If you wish to discuss the issues raised in this thread further I suggest that you take them up with the OP via PM.

Thank you for your patience.
 
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