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  #11  
Old 10-17-2016, 04:17 PM
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Spork Spork is offline
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Happiness journal!! What a fantastic idea!!

I think one of the biggest things that has opened up new and wonderful personal growth and spiritual harmony for me, has been getting into BDSM stuff and the community around it.

I mean sure, I am having these amazing mind altering experiences. And have learned a lot about what great sex is actually like (I really did not know, before.) But it's so much more than that. I've immersed myself in a whole different culture.

People who genuinely want to see one another succeed and be happy, who will be supportive of each other in hardship and celebrate one another's triumphs. Acceptance and consent and respect. Wonderful ideas about self awareness and personal growth. New friendships and community.

The discussion groups alone, have been amazing and contributed hugely to my understanding of self and ability to find happy, healthy ways to be.
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  #12  
Old 03-05-2018, 09:23 PM
Tinwen Tinwen is offline
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I've started to reverse my aversion towards physical activity.

I'm right now trying out the Wim Hof method. It's essentially a breathing exercise + cold shower, + any workout you feel like adding. I've been at it for three weeks and I really feel it's a transformative technique. I'm feeling more energized throughout my day. I can sometimes reach ecstatic states with the breathing (and it's pretty fast). (I have to be a bit careful not to overdo it, otherwise I mess with my energy body too much )
But more importantly, it's the first time ever I can be consistent with daily exercise, even though it hasn't been long yet. It's a good strategy to start with just breathing. I don't have a strong willpower. But I can always take a few deep breaths - and then I've started already.
I hope I can keep at it and get more healthy over time. I wanna strengthen my body, my immune system and perhaps even keep my asthma in check.

Wim Hof is an inspiring man who holds several world records - staying immersed in ice cold water for two hours and similar things. He's training people to gain more control over their body. He sells a course but good-enough basic descriptions of his breathing exercise and the whole method can be found on the internet. Check him out

But what I really wanna say is, even if you feel like something is unchangeable for you - and I've felt this way about my utter and complete resistance to exercise for years - there's probably some little step out there that you're willing to do (or will become willing to do at some point) that will make the whole process easier. For me, it's deep breathing.
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  #13  
Old 03-06-2018, 08:26 AM
Kajibabu Kajibabu is offline
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Default Just wonderful

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post
I will write more maybe, when I have time to think more on this. One simple thing I started a few years ago though, that has definitely changed my life for the better, was writing in a happiness journal.

One page for each day of the year. I write one sentence at bedtime - one happiness - even if it was a truly terrible day. The best part is that unlike a regular journal, I can visually see what I wrote a year ago, two years ago, 3, that made me happy on that exact day. It's an immediate smile, every time.

Here's photo to give a better idea:



I had to page back a bit to find one that didn't have people's names mentioned in an entry!
Just loving your way of polyamory....
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  #14  
Old 03-06-2018, 08:28 AM
Kajibabu Kajibabu is offline
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Default What kind of Tantra

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Originally Posted by Tinwen View Post
I started to write, and then it got really long and personal, so short version Please let me know, if you would like me to expand on anything.

(More or less chronologically: )
  • In therapy, I learned to feel and express emotions.
  • Through yoga, I learned relaxation and got a taste of feeling calm.
  • Through relationships, I learned to make my own choices.
  • Through love and kink, I got to know and accept more of myself, which was huge.
  • Getting a little glimpse of spirituality helped me with feeling secure and connected, and showed me that it is possible to open up to seemingly contradictory things, which gave me more understanding of people and the world.
  • Kink, polyamory, and tantra helped me with boundaries, which gave me more confidence. Together with spirituality they also expanded emotional bandwidth and sensitivity.
  • Committing to personal development and starting to make choices about it's direction helps me feel more in control.
  • Tantra showed me, that substantial changes in awareness and attitude are possible really fast
  • Starting meditation showed me that the mind can be relaxed as well and helps my anxiety somewhat. I see great potential there.

Basically, I've started in a place of depression and hopelessness about the future, that held me for years. Today I am not depressed most of the time, although still stuggling with anxiety a lot. I am very hopeful about my life, sometimes even excited. Well worth work.

This is my favorite online resource for the past months, that I would really like to recommend: http://actualized.org/
This guy is using a very rational approach, while knowing it's limitation. He's got a variety of videos ranging from business to emotional openness, to enlightment. He's the one who convinced me to pick up meditation. If he suits you, pick your topic
You mentioned practicing Tantra... would you please elaborate on it what kind of Tantra you are practicing?
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  #15  
Old 03-06-2018, 12:05 PM
Tinwen Tinwen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kajibabu View Post
You mentioned practicing Tantra... would you please elaborate on it what kind of Tantra you are practicing?
Nothing serious, I've really just touched the basics. I took a course of ~15 evenings. I don't think the teacher subscribed to any particular school. The evening usually had some free dance and communication exercises to get into the flow, some meditation/breathing exercise/energy work, and some conscious touch an/or ritual. Nudity was added along the way. I managed to get rid of unnecessary shame and learned to watch my boundaries better through the interaction with others, and I learned a bit about how attraction works for me. I also was really surprised to see how this kind of a fun work helped with my anxiety throughout the week.

What really did make a difference and stayed with me after the course were the breathing/ energy work exercises which we slowly built up during the course. We started with breathing into the chakras ( I still don't believe in that model in it's entirety but apparently the exercise was doing something ) and proceded to 'transport the sexual energy through the body'. It's simple but profound: You breathe in deeply through your mouth and visualize your breath and energy travelling from your pelvic floor (which you pull in just a little bit) up your spine through the chakras all the way above your head, then exhale and visualize the energy sink back while you let loose. Do it for 10 minutes, then relax, and it's definitely gonna get you energized or change your emotional state at least. A bit surprisingly it does bring up emotions throughout your day and you'll have to integrate stuff. To ample up the effect, you can do it while masturbating without orgasm, or with a partner.
Apparently, this exercise is quite powerful when done regularly, a woman can even learn to stop the menstruation cycle through it - which is like wtf - I'm looking forward to trying if the teacher has a follow-up course on that.

That's really all the tantra I did, but I got more of an emotional bandwidth through it, more of a shift towards positive than years of talking therapy have achieved. That's why I'm so amazed. I'm sure there are other ways to achieve the same effects though, but for me connecting sexuality and personal development (&bringing some spiritual aspects in) was really profound.
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Last edited by Tinwen; 03-06-2018 at 12:11 PM.
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  #16  
Old 03-07-2018, 03:15 AM
Kajibabu Kajibabu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinwen View Post
Nothing serious, I've really just touched the basics. I took a course of ~15 evenings. I don't think the teacher subscribed to any particular school. The evening usually had some free dance and communication exercises to get into the flow, some meditation/breathing exercise/energy work, and some conscious touch an/or ritual. Nudity was added along the way. I managed to get rid of unnecessary shame and learned to watch my boundaries better through the interaction with others, and I learned a bit about how attraction works for me. I also was really surprised to see how this kind of a fun work helped with my anxiety throughout the week.

What really did make a difference and stayed with me after the course were the breathing/ energy work exercises which we slowly built up during the course. We started with breathing into the chakras ( I still don't believe in that model in it's entirety but apparently the exercise was doing something ) and proceded to 'transport the sexual energy through the body'. It's simple but profound: You breathe in deeply through your mouth and visualize your breath and energy travelling from your pelvic floor (which you pull in just a little bit) up your spine through the chakras all the way above your head, then exhale and visualize the energy sink back while you let loose. Do it for 10 minutes, then relax, and it's definitely gonna get you energized or change your emotional state at least. A bit surprisingly it does bring up emotions throughout your day and you'll have to integrate stuff. To ample up the effect, you can do it while masturbating without orgasm, or with a partner.
Apparently, this exercise is quite powerful when done regularly, a woman can even learn to stop the menstruation cycle through it - which is like wtf - I'm looking forward to trying if the teacher has a follow-up course on that.

That's really all the tantra I did, but I got more of an emotional bandwidth through it, more of a shift towards positive than years of talking therapy have achieved. That's why I'm so amazed. I'm sure there are other ways to achieve the same effects though, but for me connecting sexuality and personal development (&bringing some spiritual aspects in) was really profound.

Thank you very much, Dear TinWen for elaboration. I got your point and love this way of flow which helped you approach your basic nature. Yes, there are different kinds of schools of Tantra. I don't know what kind of was that, but I loved reading "Tantric Quest - An Encounter with Absolute Love" by Daniel Odier. This is a mixing of Tibetan Buddhist Tantra and Hindu Shaiva Path, but mostly focusing on Left Hand Path with great adventure.
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  #17  
Old 03-27-2018, 10:47 AM
XavierreBoncoeur XavierreBoncoeur is offline
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Taking some positive changes in life has been good always.
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