FreeLoveDove
New member
Hello there. I am a newbie and wonder about a few things that maybe you can help clear up? I am excited to meet other poly friends so as to strengthen my beliefs with a healthy attitude, etc.etc. Of course finding someone to become close friends with and something leading towards companionship would be great, but so far while looking through the personals threads, it seems that most posts are from couples looking to find a bi girl to join the sex triangle as a new found discovery of their sexual desire to spice it up. Forgive me if that is assuming too much. I am sure that the discovery of being poly has the potential to happen to anyone at any time in their life, whether it be during a time they are in a committed relationship or not. For me, I am on this forum to meet others who are interested in making connections with people that are sincerely genuine and not focused on fulfilling a sexual role. So here are my thoughts...
-If a couple decides to be poly and seeks a "bi girl" to join the relationship, how can this be poly? Am I confusing the idea of poly with pan? Maybe I am. I suppose I am a bi-sexual poly or maybe a pan sexual poly... but there are in fact all three hetero and homo and bi sexual poly people...?
-Based on experience, I would be quite skeptical of a couple claiming to be poly while seeking only a girl to join them because if they genuinely wanted to expand there circle and leave room for the possibility of sexual encounters, wouldn't they also like to invite a male for the satisfaction of sharing love in a open way.
-My idea of poly is that one has many lovers... Period. Meaning that ONE person has many lovers. A straight couple seeking another female, who would therefore be the secondary simply by definition, would be more polygamy. Which is not bad either, at all. But does polygamy and polyamory get smeared when considering this scenario?
-My concern is that if a couple goes hunting together, that one of the persons in the relationship might still be attached to the idea of monogamy and may simply be conceding to their partner's desire to be poly and so joins in the pusuit half heartedly. I myself would like to find various one on one companions with varying levels of shared interest and/or intimacy and if perhaps one day they should overlap and form a closer union of more than two, great! But only if all persons are whole heartedly content. (I have been approached by men in commited relationships who simply want to have a side relationship with me but do not want to tell the main girlfriend. I can't help but wonder if someone who has cheated and starts to feel bad about it opens up the idea of being poly in order to get their committed lover to accept that they are no longer monogamous... Or is no one really monogamous and we all just try it because it's a cultural thing...)
Please please do know that I ask these questions out of sincere acceptance of all those seeking their passion and full expression of self. I am just new to this community and am curious about it. I would love to hear from some of the couples seeking and hear there side and why they believe it is poly. I would also like to hear from those people who are in a relationship that seek other relationships one on one without necessarily seeking together.
Thank you thank you for reading and sharing thoughts. I'm curious and look forward to learning more
-If a couple decides to be poly and seeks a "bi girl" to join the relationship, how can this be poly? Am I confusing the idea of poly with pan? Maybe I am. I suppose I am a bi-sexual poly or maybe a pan sexual poly... but there are in fact all three hetero and homo and bi sexual poly people...?
-Based on experience, I would be quite skeptical of a couple claiming to be poly while seeking only a girl to join them because if they genuinely wanted to expand there circle and leave room for the possibility of sexual encounters, wouldn't they also like to invite a male for the satisfaction of sharing love in a open way.
-My idea of poly is that one has many lovers... Period. Meaning that ONE person has many lovers. A straight couple seeking another female, who would therefore be the secondary simply by definition, would be more polygamy. Which is not bad either, at all. But does polygamy and polyamory get smeared when considering this scenario?
-My concern is that if a couple goes hunting together, that one of the persons in the relationship might still be attached to the idea of monogamy and may simply be conceding to their partner's desire to be poly and so joins in the pusuit half heartedly. I myself would like to find various one on one companions with varying levels of shared interest and/or intimacy and if perhaps one day they should overlap and form a closer union of more than two, great! But only if all persons are whole heartedly content. (I have been approached by men in commited relationships who simply want to have a side relationship with me but do not want to tell the main girlfriend. I can't help but wonder if someone who has cheated and starts to feel bad about it opens up the idea of being poly in order to get their committed lover to accept that they are no longer monogamous... Or is no one really monogamous and we all just try it because it's a cultural thing...)
Please please do know that I ask these questions out of sincere acceptance of all those seeking their passion and full expression of self. I am just new to this community and am curious about it. I would love to hear from some of the couples seeking and hear there side and why they believe it is poly. I would also like to hear from those people who are in a relationship that seek other relationships one on one without necessarily seeking together.
Thank you thank you for reading and sharing thoughts. I'm curious and look forward to learning more