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Old 12-23-2016, 01:45 PM
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Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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Default the "swinging general"

To me, this sounded more like a guy who got caught being nonmonogamous, maybe even polyfidelitous -- it's grossly inaccurate to call an 11-year relationship "an affair." (Still no comments from his wife, FWIW.)

Army demotes 'swinging general' after investigation into affairs, lifestyle

It does piss me off a little to find that USA Today (in this & previous articles) would so readily resort to yellow-journalism phrases, even going so far as "sordid sex scandal."

Unlikely that the military was unaware of this stuff.
Quote:
His superiors promoted him three times since his affair with Armstrong began. Screeners of officials for security clearances ... scrutinize financial and family stability to guard against vulnerability to bribes or blackmail.
At one point, I was being recruited to take a rank doing clearance checks specifically because it was known that my wife (who had just moved up from Secret level ) & I were public about being poly, Wiccan, & bi -- as in, we were pretty much blackmail-proof. (Apparently, extramarital sex is still a no-no in the UCMJ... despite the "geographical bachelors" I've met living together openly in base housing.)
Quote:
Armstrong ... told USA Today in interviews that the relationship began with a flirty email and ended after assignations with multiple partners at swingers’ clubs, hotels and her home.
...&, well, after ELEVEN YEARS of all that stuff. "I just now started to have doubts about him!!"
Quote:
Armstrong furnished a copy of a handwritten letter from Haight who encouraged her while she fought breast cancer.
Most media covering Haight's problems have gone out of their way to not give details beyond the "ain't it awful" squawk-words; this is the only one I've found in the first 40-or-so hits.

Really, though, Haight is being punished for making too many big promises to a jilted woman:
Quote:
Armstrong ... says Haight had promised a future together. “I gave him the best years of my life”
It's maybe ironic that it wasn't even Haight's idea to break up with Armstrong -- for all we know, maybe he actually WAS making plans to change wives, but she totally unloaded on him, including all the emails & texts she'd saved.
Quote:
In 2015, anonymous tips about Haight’s extramarital affairs were brought to the Pentagon’s inspector general. Ultimately, the Army’s inspector general took the case. The Army ordered Haight to sever contact with Armstrong. Investigators interviewed her and others and substantiated allegations that he had "had an affair and lived a 'swinger lifestyle.'"
You've probably guessed already that Haight had originally targeted Armstrong, & used his rank & power & influence to take advantage of her.
Quote:
The inspector general's report dates the affair to Feb. 12, 2005, when Armstrong was working as a contractor in Iraq. Smitten after seeing Haight at a base, she emailed every David Haight in the Army directory, saying that he had a “terrific smile.” Eventually, she found the right Haight

She also bears a tattoo with his name on it.
So, she stalked him, & finally won him over. As for his big promises, Armstrong has proven herself a credible witness, right?
Quote:
She claimed to have a nursing degree from the University of California at San Diego. A check there revealed she did not, prompting Armstrong to claim a degree from California State University San Marcos. She does not. Records also show that she has twice declared bankruptcy, including last year in Virginia.
And just like Jack Ryan before him, there was Haight, getting his jollies setting poor innocent Jennifer up with random strangers... wait a second...
Quote:
Armstrong found partners for the couple, and email on his military account shows that he asked after them and their availability.

Haight asked Armstrong whether she wanted to involve men: “Do you want another guy?” She declined.

Soon, a friend suggested that they should go to a club where members engage in sex with strangers. They went to clubs in Baltimore and near the Army War College in Carlisle Barracks, Pa., Armstrong said. They visited others when he traveled, including Tampa and Atlanta where they were almost recognized by another soldier when Haight was the Army’s chief of infantry, she said. Armstrong has also recognized other swingers at the Pentagon.

The inspector general's report ... indicates Armstrong and Haight "visited swingers' clubs while he was stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia." Haight was assigned to Benning from July 2012 to October 2013.

They also had “parties” at Armstrong’s house. ... She described the sex as “non-emotional intimacy.” There were no drugs or alcohol involved, she said.

She and Haight knew their relationship and “alternative lifestyle” put him at risk of being blackmailed. But they felt they were discreet enough — his face did not appear on their online profile for Swing Life Style’s website — that he would not be recognized.

In one December 2011 email attributed to Haight, he asked Armstrong whether Tabu Social Club in Maryland was open the night of “22/23 Dec?” Tabu is a members-only club in Maryland whose website touts it as “Where Sexy Adults Come and Play.”
How creepy is it that, in this day & age, & with all the crap going on in the world, being a heterosexual, couplist swinger is presented as something immoral & disgusting?
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  #2  
Old 12-23-2016, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravenscroft View Post
Unlikely that the military was unaware of this stuff.
Quote:
His superiors promoted him three times since his affair with Armstrong began. Screeners of officials for security clearances ... scrutinize financial and family stability to guard against vulnerability to bribes or blackmail.
At one point, I was being recruited to take a rank doing clearance checks specifically because it was known that my wife (who had just moved up from Secret level ) & I were public about being poly, Wiccan, & bi -- as in, we were pretty much blackmail-proof. (Apparently, extramarital sex is still a no-no in the UCMJ...)
I just had my clearance re-validated (an 18 month process) and there didn't seem to be any problem with the whole poly thing. As you say, being open about it takes all the fun away if you're a blackmailer. Extramarital sex is quite legal over here, so the only risk (from a vetting perspective) comes with being secretive about it. Edit: It did mean I needed a few extra pages for the "partner's details" section of the form.

Last edited by Emm; 12-23-2016 at 02:57 PM.
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Old 12-23-2016, 02:30 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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I dated a Marine years ago. Briefly. He was pretty religious and very concerned about the military laws on nonmonogamy. What we found then was basically that to be a problem, the extramarital sex had to cause a ruckus.

While they were having the relationship, as long as everyone was happy and fine with it - no problem.

As soon as she starts associating a military official with out-of-the-norm sex and being angry about it - problem.

It's the appearance of things that seems to matter. If everyone seems happy and treated well, then there won't be any actions against nonmonogamous behavior (swinging, poly, etc) but as soon as someone is unhappy and getting loud about it, an investigation can be triggered.
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Old 12-28-2016, 07:12 PM
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Spork Spork is offline
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As a former Army wife, I could tell ya some stuff...

Here's the thing about the military. If they want you saved, you'll be saved. Your any and all transgressions swept under the rug, you'll be transferred to a different unit or a different base, where nobody knows anything, and life will go on.

But if they want you burned, you will burn. You get on the wrong side of some egomaniacal jackalope of an officer and he'll find ways to burn your ass, or he will make them up if need be. If somebody has decided you're gonna take the fall for something, you'll be taking it.

But there is a bit of a tug o' war that can go on, because at one point the Army was ready to burn my ex...but I knew about it, and furthermore, I knew some details of some really nasty stories that they would not have wanted to get leaked. They always prefer to keep things on the hush if they can. So I got in touch with a couple of commanding officers, found the right channels to email, and sent a very professionally worded and diplomatic message that ultimately (in language that made my intentions known but was not outright threatening, and was completely deniable) communicated that I knew about this incident and that incident and had the number of several press outlets on speed dial, so do what you can to get my husband off the "burn" list and onto the "save" list if you want everything to be cool.

Also vibed in my email, but subtle, was the "yeah I know he is an asshole, but this is MY family's money you're messing with here. Do not fuck with me." The bigshot officer who sat my ex down and got him transferred to another unit? He said, "You are lucky to be married to this woman."

I really think it was my extremely careful choices of wording and phrasing that made all the difference though. If I had not been VERY professional and intelligent and diplomatic with it, I'd have been dismissed as just a "crazy pissed off wife." I was cool as a goddamn cucumber.

There is a fuck ton of dirt floating around in the military. And they respond pretty readily to threats to use it. What this Haight guy was doing, was lightweight stuff compared to some of the shit I heard about...except that Armstrong sounded like the type who was prone to making drama and starting trouble. Sometimes, you lance the boil and get it in the open, see him "punished" for the sake of any eyes that are watching, and get on with things.
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Old 01-01-2017, 02:51 PM
confusedtink confusedtink is offline
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I've yet to find any where with more gossip than a military base. Spork you are completely correct. They will burn you if that's what they've decided to do or save you if that was their choice and I was only a military brat and could see that.
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