No, actually, I read that bit. The problem I had was that you seem to be talking about relationships that you aren't directly involved in. Ie. How often your partner needs to see their other partners.
Actually I was talking about myself, since my gf has not had the desire for many sleepovers with the couple people she's been involved with since she and I have been together.
I would not choose to have a new OSO spend more than a night or 2 a week here, nor would I go spend the night with an OSO more than say, once a week. Or even less, in the early months. I like to get involved gradually. I love the NRE feeling but I don't let it make my behavior crazy. I temper wants (NRE causing me to want to be with a person all the time) with practicalities and the feelings of my gf and bf. I just can't imagine suddenly finding a 3rd partner that I desired so much, I'd want to be with them day after day instead of my usual schedule with my present partners.
Also, how much you like them seems to dictate whether they earn the right to an opinion and if they so want, more time with your shared partner...
lol Everyone has a right to their opinion. If they were of the opinion they needed to see my gf for 5 overnights a week, I think my gf would be of a different opinion. And so would I. Neither of us would do that to the other. Lots of IMing with new person? Sure, we give each other space for that. Spending the majority of the week having face time with new person? No.
If new person was liked or loved, the way miss pixi loves my bf Ginger, yes, it's fine. We moved into a house in his neighborhood partly just so he could be with me/us more often. He now comes here for 2-3 hours about every other day (we'd be doing a sleepover probably once a week too like we used to, but he's been ill and needs his own bed at night). If she didn't like him, I wouldnt have him over as much. But then, if she didn't like him, I probably would see her reasons for why she didn't, since she's looking out for me, and he probably wouldn't become a serious bf, just an occasional play partner.
There seems to be no consideration for the fact that your partner and particularly your metamour may want to do things differently
Well, "no consideration" for a metamour is strong language. I respect all peoples' desires and needs. But I would expect a brand new person in either of our lives wouldn't expect to just take over either of us, 5 days a week, and 5 nights. They'd know I'm tight with, and want to spend lots of time with the partners I already have that I am crazy about. They'd know I am very important to miss pixi too and frankly, she likes her space and I highly doubt she'd give the impression to any new partner that she wants to be with them all the time right off the bat, drunk on NRE. We just don't work that way.
You might, and that is fine for you. It's not how we operate.