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  #81  
Old 08-14-2018, 05:31 PM
Ellamenopea Ellamenopea is offline
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Sarge ended up on my doorstep Saturday night. He arrived looking hung-over, and emotionally wrecked. We talked for hours. We worked through the issues of my Type-A personality, his persistent passive resistance, and came out better for it. He claims he was mortified by J13's behavior, and just didn't know HOW to react, so he chose to not. He sees now that there is an issue there, and is going to speak to TED about getting him some serious help.

I can finally breathe again. Almost losing him was scary.
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Me: Elle (43) married to Steel, in a relationship with Sarge.

Steel: (48) My husband of 18 years.

Sarge: My boyfriend (37)

TED- (The Egg Donor- f/k/a Freckles, 38) Sarge's ex-wife and "Mother" of J13 and J9.

Dumpling16 and Dumpling13- My children with Steel.
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  #82  
Old 09-24-2018, 07:55 PM
Ellamenopea Ellamenopea is offline
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Things are status quo here in Elleville

The dumplings are back in school, so I am spending a lot of time playing uber driver to them, but all is well.

Steel had met a wonderful woman in August. She was practically perfect in every way, except she waited until their fourth date to disclose the fact that she has HSV 2. To many, this isn’t a big deal, to Steel, it was an absolute deal breaker. At first, he contemplated continuing the relationship, but after having a talk with a friend of mine who happens to be an OB/GYN, he decided it best to end it. We are both STD free, as is Sarge. Steel was not willing to risk exposure for himself, and in turn risk exposing me, and Sarge. I know HSV is more of a stigma these days than needed, and Steel realizes this as well, he just wasn’t willing to put himself at risk, since she wasn’t taking any prophylactic medications and claimed not to have prodrome symptoms. Sigh.

Sarge and I are better than ever. He takes Junior13 to therapy on his weeks- Ted refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong, so will not take him on hers.

Sarge and I are heading away next month for four days. We are road tripping to Tennesseee, to his cousins wedding. It will be so nice to spend 4 days together, spend time with mama sarge and the family, and hopefully get some cooler weather. The weekend happens to coincide with our THIRD anniversary, so the trip is serving a dual purpose.
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Me: Elle (43) married to Steel, in a relationship with Sarge.

Steel: (48) My husband of 18 years.

Sarge: My boyfriend (37)

TED- (The Egg Donor- f/k/a Freckles, 38) Sarge's ex-wife and "Mother" of J13 and J9.

Dumpling16 and Dumpling13- My children with Steel.
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  #83  
Old 10-10-2018, 03:25 PM
Ellamenopea Ellamenopea is offline
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I am going to Sargeís city Friday, to accompany him to the vet office. The time has come for him to say goodbye to his 14 year old cat. He is devastated, but with her advanced age and illness, I suggested it may be less humane to leave her home alone for the four days of our trip. The only thing worse than being with her while she is peacefully euthanized, would be him finding her when we return. She is a wonderful, loving cat, and was his love for many years while TED acted like the asshole she is and dismantled their marriage piece by piece. Speaking of TED, she unilaterally decided to stop giving J13 his Doctor prescribed psych meds, and no one knew until he started acting up in school- again. It seems another fight in court is in the near future. He was getting dosed correctly when with Sarge, and not at all when with TED. Any healthy woman can be a parent, but not everyone is a Mother.
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Me: Elle (43) married to Steel, in a relationship with Sarge.

Steel: (48) My husband of 18 years.

Sarge: My boyfriend (37)

TED- (The Egg Donor- f/k/a Freckles, 38) Sarge's ex-wife and "Mother" of J13 and J9.

Dumpling16 and Dumpling13- My children with Steel.
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  #84  
Old 10-14-2018, 09:57 PM
Ellamenopea Ellamenopea is offline
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Sargeís sweet cat is now on the other side. I am so glad I was able to be there. I have never had the strength to stay with my own animals in the past, but knowing Sarge couldnít be there without having a breakdown made me stronger. When the time came to pay, I took his debit card to the receptionist. I asked for the Sherrifís department discount. She asked for my badge. I said I wasnít the deputy, he was, and pointed to the 6ft, 215lb blubbering mess in the corner. I had to laugh, and she tried to hide her amusement as well. He has such a great heart, and he loved her so very much. It was over in seconds and very peaceful. I stayed the night with him, and he had a rough night. He cried on and off several times, which caused me to cry with him. We did have some really intense sex around 3am, both us us climaxing in tears. But, letting her go was the right thing to do. I found an old picture of her, as I am making him a memorial frame, and seeing her in her prime made me realize how bad she had gotten. It was time, and I am grateful I found the resolve to hold her as she passed. We leave for Tennessee on Thursday, and I am looking forward to some cool weather.
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Me: Elle (43) married to Steel, in a relationship with Sarge.

Steel: (48) My husband of 18 years.

Sarge: My boyfriend (37)

TED- (The Egg Donor- f/k/a Freckles, 38) Sarge's ex-wife and "Mother" of J13 and J9.

Dumpling16 and Dumpling13- My children with Steel.
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  #85  
Old 11-07-2018, 11:19 PM
Ellamenopea Ellamenopea is offline
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Things are not great. Sarge and I are taking a break. It 100% has to do with J13, and TED. Unfortunately, J13 is off the rails. He is becoming more like his egg donor each day and I just canít stand it anymore. Last time I saw him he complimented me on my weight loss. He then followed it up by telling me how great my ďTits and ass are looking.Ē I was stunned. This is a THIRTEEN year old child. He was suspended from school twice in the same week, once for throwing a toddler like tantrum over his phone, the other for screaming and cursing at a first grader, and subsequently the principal. Of course, TED blames it all on his diagnosis, and refused to punish him in anyway. Sarge is the king of conflict avoidance, so it really upset me that he did nothing either. When I told Sarge what J13 said about my body, he told me it was a compliment. I lost it.

The bottom line is, I donít want to be around th child anymore. He needs serious help, beyond his twice monthly therapy visits where he sits and stares at the wall. Since Sarge has the children for a full week, every other week, or leaves us with the opportunity to see each other only two times a month. Thatís not enough.

I told Sarge that I am no longer comfortable around J13, and that he and TED are the people that have to deal with his behavior, and their lack of consequences to them. I do NOT have to subject myself to it. And I refuse to do so. I begged him to step up, fight for his Son, and get him the help he needs. Until he is correctly treated for his mental illness, I will not be part of it. And I am not going to be a twice monthly booty call.

He told me he is going to try to get him help, and I wished him luck, letting him know Iím here. But unless and until the child is set on a path of mental well being, I can no longer see a future with Sarge.

I had visions of a 30 year old J13 living in the basement, jobless, 500 lbs, and running the show like he does now- and itís not a pretty picture.

Iím heartbroken to say the least, as we just celebrated three years together, but my own safety, sanity and well being are paramount.
__________________
Me: Elle (43) married to Steel, in a relationship with Sarge.

Steel: (48) My husband of 18 years.

Sarge: My boyfriend (37)

TED- (The Egg Donor- f/k/a Freckles, 38) Sarge's ex-wife and "Mother" of J13 and J9.

Dumpling16 and Dumpling13- My children with Steel.
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  #86  
Old 11-29-2018, 03:18 PM
Ellamenopea Ellamenopea is offline
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Itís over.

37 months we made it. I have a lifetime left to go on. My heart is broken, today it feels like Iíll never smile again. But I know I will. One day. Junior13 is just a lost cause, sadly. I canít be in a relationship with someone whose child I cannot be around. A mother? Sure. A friend? Yeah. But his CHILD? Someone who will always be around? Nope. The heartbreak is exacerbated by the knowledge that there is nothing wrong with US. We are in love. And always will be. We had a wonderful, fun, mutually satisfying relationship. We just cannot be together. Because of a child. A child that is becoming more and more like his egg donor each day. I thought when he divorced her, it was over. The head was off the monster. How wrong I was. A new head grew, in the form of their child. He has taken her place, and will ruin my life if I stay. So, I walked away.

I walked away from a Man I love wholly. A man who never did anything to cause it, other than choose to marry and have children with a succubus long before he knew I existed. I can no longer stand by and be part of what will surely end with the child in jail, dead, or worse.

My heart hurts. Physically.
__________________
Me: Elle (43) married to Steel, in a relationship with Sarge.

Steel: (48) My husband of 18 years.

Sarge: My boyfriend (37)

TED- (The Egg Donor- f/k/a Freckles, 38) Sarge's ex-wife and "Mother" of J13 and J9.

Dumpling16 and Dumpling13- My children with Steel.
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  #87  
Old 11-29-2018, 11:00 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I'm very sorry to hear about this breakup. I agree with you that J13's behavior is totally unacceptable, and would do you damage over the years. You have to take care of yourself.
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  #88  
Old 12-01-2018, 02:29 AM
Leetah Leetah is offline
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I'm very sorry this had to happen. I think you have done the right thing though.

Leetah
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