Thanks, A2Poly, for sharing! And any excuse to eat more Baked Potatoes - with butter, sour cream and bacon please! - is a good one! My potassium levels were normal but I realize that serum and intra-cellular potassium can be discordant.
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So, on the poly front, I haven't posted in a while as most developments have been Dude's and not mine. On the home front, things have been relatively stable with the MrS-me-Dude front. (The other night they ganged up on me for some delicious sexing - poor JaneQ!)
The other week JennyL txt'd a "break-up" with Dude. It was a jumbled novel of a txt but she basically cited that she, a.) is monogoamous and doesn't want to be a "side bitch" (her phrase) b.) didn't approve of my behaviour at her party (served with a side of "slut-shaming" - which, unfortunately, Dude endorsed, and IS a source of conflict) c.) doesn't feel comfortable having me around her kids and doesn't want to explain to her kids (youngest is around 13, oldest over 21) why she is sleeping with someone who is with someone else (especially if that someone is ME).
Dude shared this txt with me and MrS (AFTER I pointed out that some people feel that txts are private communications and she might get bent out of shape if she knew that her txt had been shared without her permission).
My initial response (in addition to embarrassment, since I had consciously, in my mind, "toned down" my "flirty-ness" at her party, knowing that it was a family affair) was "Fair enough." Her house, her party, her family, her kids - her choice. Being monogamous - also her choice/her preference. My second response was that she was conflating two things - her objection to ME personally and her objection to poly in general. BOTH are valid independently. If her objection were ONLY to me a a metamour, well, Dude wouldn't be willing to break up with me, but we don't really have to have much interaction with each other. It's also fine that she recognizes that she is not up for poly - I just find it curious that she didn't bring up that he is also with Lotus (who she has also met socially on several occasions).
I shared those initial responses with Dude. My delayed response was a bit more personal. I was, retroactively, annoyed that she hadn't indicated any of her concerns to ME. She is not someone that I consider a personal friend, more of a "friendly acquaintance" - we've know each other for a few years. We've been to a number of social gatherings at other people's houses (where my flirty behaviour was NOT constrained.) She has been to my a house a few times (which isn't something that I allow lightly). Made out with Dude on our couch. Cleaned my kitchen. Met my family. I recommended her for a side-job to a friend of mine. At her party, I felt that I "touched base" with her regularly. We met up with her at a smaller social gathering a week later. No indication (that I heard) that there was anything wrong, just reassurances. Then this txt to him.
OK. I am not everyone's cup of tea (and MOST people aren't mine!). I feel bad, for Dude, that this situation won't work for her. But, honestly, I feel that she is using me as an excuse. (But maybe that is just defensive on my part?)
Oh, well.
On the Lotus front. She hasn't been down to our place in a while (the last time, I think, was with her husband, TT). Dude visited her last week while MrS and I were out of town. According to his (admittedly unreliable - he tends to interpret things through his own filters and can't see other perspectives) account - she is in a "withdrawn, no intimacy, no sex" place right now. (She suffers from anxiety/depression/insomnia as background.)
On an intellectual level - I observe how each of us respond differently to this. Dude, who is a "physical affection" guy - gets frustrated and doesn't understand why she "doesn't just..." respond how he would. My inclination is to leave her alone to figure out her stuff and just touch base on occasion to let her know that we are here if she needs anything. MrS, who I think misses her the most (and can empathize most with how she feels), txts her more frequently to let her know she is being missed and (particularly when he has been drinking) wants to go to her and just be present for her (with zero expectations of any sort).
On a work/stress front - I am actually in a better place than I have been in a while. I got caught up on a BUNCH of crap that was stressing me out. So my last "vacation" (last week with MrS and my family) WAS actually a vacation - and, boy, did I vacate! Ate, slept, read, refreshed. Monday is back to the grind...but I am feeling better about it.