How To Find Older Poly People

Thehubby

New member
We are brand spanking new, or if there's anything newer than that, it's us. Though we've discovered this road later in life and in our marriage. We are in our mid-late 40's. I would love to help find her a prospective partner, but have no idea where to look. Swingers sites just want sex, and most Poly sites seem to be geared toward younger folks.

Does anyone have any advice as to how we could continue to explore this?
 
Which poly sites are you referring to? My experience has been that "older people" are where the action is regarding poly.
 
Which poly sites are you referring to? My experience has been that "older people" are where the action is regarding poly.

Hi FallenAngelina, I'm sorry, I don't really remember any sites for reference, and it just could be my wrong impression. There just seemed to be mostly posts from 20's-30's. I felt like an old interloper. lol.

I'll try to take a look as to where I was, but thank you for the encouraging feedback.
 
I'm 48, and I haven't had the same experience as you. In the local poly group I belong to, people range in age from their 20s through their 60s, and there doesn't seem to be a predominance of the younger people. On the dating sites I belong to, I've had no problems finding people around my age. I suspect some sites might have an abundance of younger people, maybe because the sites are newer or they're apps rather than websites, I don't know. But I belong to three or four sites where I encounter plenty of people in their 40s and 50s.
 
As mentioned above, Fetlife is a good start. I recommend finding and attending a few "munches" in your area. No need to limit to just those labeled as "poly." The general kink/fetish/BDSM community has a large percentage of poly people.

Also, it is worth checking out the Human Awareness Institute (hai.org) and attending at least a "Level 1" workshop. This will give you access to a relatively large community with many poly people.
 
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I'll also note that although you say people on swinger sites only want sex, all but two of my longer-term relationships over the past 11 years (including my marriage) have been with people I met on AdultFriendFinder, which bills itself as a swinger site. And of the two exceptions, I met one of them on SwingLifestyle, another swinger site.

So even though a site bills itself as being for swingers, and there are unquestionably people on those sites who are just looking for a quick bang, it is also possible to find actual relationships there.
 
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