I decided to explore polyamory about 15 years ago, with my then-husband. He admitted to me, after several years of marriage, that he was bisexual, and so we agreed to open up our marriage. Eventually, we became a triad with the man I'm married to now. I think triad is the right word- we were all three in a romantic and sexual relationship. It was all kinds of fun and fulfilling for me. I know they were enjoying themselves, too, but jealousy got the better of my ex after 6 years. My ex got his girlfriend pregnant, on purpose and against my wishes, and our marriage broke up a few years later. He and I have two daughters, who didn't know about their parents' polyness, until I decided they deserved to know about their half-sibling. My youngest struggled with the news much more than my oldest, unfortunately. I think both girls took the news that their parents weren't monogamous fairly well, but my youngest was afraid she would lose her dad to the new child.
We lived in another country then, far away from our native home, the US. My ex drifted apart from both me and our other partner, but the partner and I got closer. Until he was pressured by his family into an arranged marriage. I didn't want to have an affair with a married man, even though we had been together for 7 years at that point, but I couldn't let him go. I honestly tried, and I even told him our relationship was over, but I couldn't go through with it. He came to my house and cried and begged me to stay in the relationship, and even though I felt horribly guilty, I simply felt incapable of turning away from him.
By the end of the year, I knew I was getting divorced and going back home. I was totally heartbroken, both because of the break-up of my marriage and because I would be losing my other love. Those were such bleak days for me, and I fell into a deep depression. I did sign up for a ploy meet up in he town I would be moving to, though, hoping that finding poly friends would be helpful.
Then, about a month before I had to leave the country, I told my BF that I had signed up for the meet up, and he told me he would divorce his wife. He told me he wanted to marry me, and only me, and that he didn't want either of us to continue being poly. At that point, after months of misery, I told him I would give up being poly so he and I could be together. And I believed I could.
I had to wait two years for my now-husband to get to the US, and although I was faithful in practice, I didn't stop having feelings for other men. I moved back to my ex's home town for a while, and I resisted his suggestion that we get back together until his new wife got to the US with their son. I got a huge crush on a man from the church (UU church, actually, not a specifically Christian Church) I attended. When I moved to Texas, I got a crush on a coworker. I'm sexually interested in a man in a political group I joined. It never ends.
I've gently introduced the subject to my husband, and I pointed out that he was happy in a poly relationship for years. He's still not interested. I'm not 100 % sure he's faithful to me, but he doesn't want me to have a relationship with anyone else.
I still don't know that I can be as happy as I want to be in a monogamous relationship, but I do love my husband and I am trying.
We lived in another country then, far away from our native home, the US. My ex drifted apart from both me and our other partner, but the partner and I got closer. Until he was pressured by his family into an arranged marriage. I didn't want to have an affair with a married man, even though we had been together for 7 years at that point, but I couldn't let him go. I honestly tried, and I even told him our relationship was over, but I couldn't go through with it. He came to my house and cried and begged me to stay in the relationship, and even though I felt horribly guilty, I simply felt incapable of turning away from him.
By the end of the year, I knew I was getting divorced and going back home. I was totally heartbroken, both because of the break-up of my marriage and because I would be losing my other love. Those were such bleak days for me, and I fell into a deep depression. I did sign up for a ploy meet up in he town I would be moving to, though, hoping that finding poly friends would be helpful.
Then, about a month before I had to leave the country, I told my BF that I had signed up for the meet up, and he told me he would divorce his wife. He told me he wanted to marry me, and only me, and that he didn't want either of us to continue being poly. At that point, after months of misery, I told him I would give up being poly so he and I could be together. And I believed I could.
I had to wait two years for my now-husband to get to the US, and although I was faithful in practice, I didn't stop having feelings for other men. I moved back to my ex's home town for a while, and I resisted his suggestion that we get back together until his new wife got to the US with their son. I got a huge crush on a man from the church (UU church, actually, not a specifically Christian Church) I attended. When I moved to Texas, I got a crush on a coworker. I'm sexually interested in a man in a political group I joined. It never ends.
I've gently introduced the subject to my husband, and I pointed out that he was happy in a poly relationship for years. He's still not interested. I'm not 100 % sure he's faithful to me, but he doesn't want me to have a relationship with anyone else.
I still don't know that I can be as happy as I want to be in a monogamous relationship, but I do love my husband and I am trying.