Fullness-emotional, physical-how our relationships relate to our eating habits.

LovingRadiance

Active member
I can't NOT start this-it's HUGE to me right now. Hopefully RP is ok with me copying her comment and my reply from the thread I started on thirds.
LR

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper
Fullness, totally get the fullness.... I am full like I've had a big meal. I find it interesting that I am more "fit" than I ever have been in my whole life, yet feel so full. Might I suggest that I have replaced the need to be physically full with the need to be emotionally full. Perhaps I was replacing food for love of others and myself?

My co-worker told me the other day that she thinks I now have an eating disorder because I chose to feel hungry sometimes (she is a woman that enjoys her food). She was angry that I have made huge changes and shifts in my relationship to food in the last two years and thinks I have a problem. I find it interesting that we both would eat together and both talked about our feelings of not being complete back then. Now I don't have that feeling and I assume she still does as her life hasn't changed as drastically as mine has.

I told her that I disagreed and that I am happy, and don't have a need to make myself happy with food anymore. Just a thought ...

Sorry, ...I have gone off on so many tangents this morning!!!! you'll all just have to put up with me.... I feel chatty and not into talking so much about poly. Perhaps it will all relate at some point.


How can you say that doesn't relate to poly my friend! I was sitting here open mouthed telling GG "OMG I think RP and I might be clones with different body types!"
I've noticed just in the last month that my relationship with food is SO completely different and it freaks me out sometimes-but at the same time, I was 216 lbs at my highest-and heartbroken (when I was younger, prior to marriage I was always in EXCELLENT physical shape) and with a LOT of hard work I got to 180. But that was where I got stuck and there was no doubt it was because I wasn't getting my emotional needs met-so I kept "stuffing food in" to fill that emptiness. Now that so many more of my emotional needs are being met, I don't feel like eating so much. I actually eat an almost exactly perfect diet-without thinking about it at all! I've dropped to 166.

Meeting our emotional needs is a HUGE problem today-at least in the US. AND weight problems are a HUGE HUGE issue today-at least in the US. I think that this MUST relate to how we function in relationships-and I poly is certainly a type of relationship!.

We should make a thread on this!
 
I'd have to agree completely with the fullness/emotional/physical link because for me an increase in emotional fullness and relational fitness has coincided with a 35 lb. drop in the past two years. I too have no problem choosing to feel hungry sometimes because my body is just being silly and I'll feed it when it's time.

Brian
 
My happiness also affects my eating habits, but opposite. My natural weight is 96 lbs. (I'm short so trust me I'm not a skeloton lol) I eat a lot because I have a fast metabolism and well... I love food it makes me happy WHEN im happy. When I am not happy, I have no appetite. Food tastes like I'm chewing sawdust and I have to force myself to eat so I don't loose weight. When my fiance went through the roughest part of his addiction I lost 11lbs in a week because what little I could swallow came right back up. Which at my size is a huge weight loss that takes hard work to gain back.

So, my health and happiness go hand in hand. I think all people are this way in some shape or form.

So where your emotional hunger can cause you to eat more it causes me I guess.... the same starvation physically as I feel emotionlly. idk... Alls know is I've been eating quite well these days. lol I took a picture of the scale showing I was at 101lbs and my family teased saying those weren't my feet. lol So bring on the Turkey!
 
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Last yr I had about given up on my mono marriage (so sick of my h and his poor communication skills, even our therapist had pretty much given up on him, he just has so many issues, he can't LISTEN).

I went to 3 Eddie Izzard tour dates (which helped me strengthen my queer ID) and accidentally started an intense internet flirtation w a single man from Colorado. I flirted a bit less intensely w a few others as well.

And then my h and i broke up.

On the way, I lost 50 lbs, and have kept it off.

I am so much happier now. My gf v recently told me I even look younger than when she met me in January!
 
I don't eat any more when I'm upset nor when I'm feeling energized. My appetite varies by ridiculous amounts seemingly at random.

Of course, everything my body has done over the past several years has been really erratic. I had a treatment several years ago that messed me up from top to bottom and the aftereffects of that haven't finished shaking out as yet.
 
My eating habits are more related to how well I'm living my life than to my partnerships. Generally, if things are going well and I feel on a good path, I eat well. When I feel stuck or headed the wrong way, I eat horribly. Alas, my current circumstances lean towards horrible eating due to the fact that I'm living with my folks and not on my terms in general. :s
 
Thank you for beginning this thread. I am enjoying reading about everyone's relationships to food.

I have had eating disorders in the past, (bulemia, anorexia, overeating). It's been difficult for me over the years to admit where these came from, (neglect, chaos in my family, etc) because I know how much I'm loved and had such a wonderful mother. (Off topic, but right now it feels like everything is getting a light shone onto it).

My relationship to food has also been affected and is still affected by a chronic illness. I have severe food allergies and am very restricted in what I eat. I've finally narrowed down my diet to foods that work for me. I've also narrowed my relationships down to people that work for me. Hmm...

I can definitely relate to feeling "full" when I'm in love. There's definitely a part of me that feels empty a lot of the time and feels full when I'm surrounded by people that I feel safe sharing love with. It's a beautiful feeling.

I think the body needs to feel that fullness of love. It's primal.

Although a low thyroid might prevent this, maybe having healthier relationships in my life will help me get to a healthier weight soon. :)
 
the Bare Naked Ladies say it well, in their song, Life, in a nut shell;

"She's like a baby, I'm like a cat;
When we are happy, we both get fat"
 
I dont know that I have much of a link to eating and relationship happiness.I can gain or lose weight pretty much at will. LR and I made a bet a week ago to see who got to 150 first. I started at 160 her at 166. I know not really fair but if it helps motivate her Im game.The wager is if she wins she get a day at the spa with a massage/pedicure/manicure etc. If I win SHE gets a day at the spa with a massage/pedicure/manicure etc.;) She desevers it either way IMO.

But in that week by just cutting my portions( and thats it . No extra exercise) Ive lost 5 lbs. <Shrug> maybe its just me.
 
Well from what I understand, food constumption is directly related to body chemestry.

For many people, a happy relationship released massive amounts of dopamine and seratonin into the brain producing a feeling of well being and 'rose colored glasses'. Depending on what people psychologically associate food with (well being or lack their of) they will eat more or less as the relationship chemicals flux.

Me personally, the happier I am, the healthier I am. When I'm depressed I tend to eat a lot but loose weight constantly due to 'raging metabolism syndrom' that is triggered by trying to replace seratonin with carbs. 0_0
 
I can't even believe this didn't occur to me before.

But yeah...i totally eat more when I'm feeling a bit down or jealous. You think i'm trying to replace an emotional "unsatisfied"....with a physical feeling of satiation??

cloves
 
I can't even believe this didn't occur to me before.

But yeah...i totally eat more when I'm feeling a bit down or jealous. You think i'm trying to replace an emotional "unsatisfied"....with a physical feeling of satiation??

cloves

Well, certainly can't say for sure without knowing you personally. But I know it's becoming clear to me that is one of my issues.

Happy to say from 216 lbs at the highest I'm down to 165 lbs now! :D
 
wow!! congrats on the weight loss!
I myself have dropped down from 222 at my highest, and am currently hovering around 195. I'd like to loose another 20 pounds if I could.....working on it.
 
wow!! congrats on the weight loss!
I myself have dropped down from 222 at my highest, and am currently hovering around 195. I'd like to loose another 20 pounds if I could.....working on it.

GOOD JOB CLOVES!!!

It's hard work.
I know for me I've been working at it steadily for 2.5 years (as of this December 21st). I know becuase I started REALLY working on it when my daughter was born and she was born June 21st. Makes the dates pretty easy (solstice baby).
It sounds like a lot when I write the numbers, it feels like a REALLY LONG time when I consider the dates. :eek:

But I can't deny I am much happier now.

Keep up the good work!
 
i feel like I'm thread hi-jacking a bit.. :)

but I keep telling myself "it took a while to put the weight on, it's not gonna come off overnight"
 
i feel like I'm thread hi-jacking a bit.. :)

but I keep telling myself "it took a while to put the weight on, it's not gonna come off overnight"

That is true. It takes "life change" I know everyone says it-but it's true.

I started with walking. I got to where (until I got stuck on bed rest for my neck) where I was averaging 5 miles a day or so for 3-4 days a week. One day a week of 10 or more miles and on the other days I would run 1 mile on the treadmill (running SUCKS).
But it really did help A LOT.
 
yo.
I feel the same way... I am of normal weight and a very small frame, so my numbers will not be related to any of yours, thus I won't post them.

But - During the last few months of my marriage and post divorce I gained weight. This was a result of drinking alot, eating, etc. for the reasons you all posted.

After I started my new life with new friends in a new town - It literally melted off! As I said before - I am a small frame, but on this small frane, I lost 20lbs in the past year.

Totally ridiculous... I think I just got happier, and ta dah!
 
Eat when I'm happy

I can't help it...when I am happy I cook and I eat. When I eat, I gain weight. The times in my life that were the most stress filled and unhappy were also the times in my life that I weighed the least amounts. My anxiety increases and perhaps my metabolism does too when I am under stress, but I also notice a big decrease in my appetite in general when I am sad or upset. I never really was one to turn to ice cream when I was unhappy.

Unfortunately, when I am happy and secure I also feel like I look my worst but heck...life is good :)
 
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