I've been poly-curious for a few years, but finally took the plunge about 5 months ago and intentionally sought non-monogamous relationships. I've been seeing a great guy for about 3 months; he and his partner of 6 years have both been very fair and communicative with me, and she and I have spent some time alone together and occasionally text.
I knew they didn't have a perfect relationship, they opened their relationship about a year ago for not great reasons (trying to spice things up/ fix things etc., etc.) but he opened up last night about how bad it really is. They haven't had any passion for like 2 years and Monday they had a big fight and talked about breaking up (which is a talk they have regularly, I guess.) They are currently in the process of making separate bedrooms in their apartment.
The three of us got together Tuesday night to check in on how everything's going between the three of us and I had no indication things were as bad as they are. They are both very fair and communicative with me about things that directly involve me.
He hasn't asked me for anything, like space or support, just wanted me to know what was going on. He doesn't seem to know what their fate is, which makes sense to me. I'm not entirely sure how to navigate this, which I told him, and we just kind of agreed to go with the flow.
Our relationship is so new and this would be a huge loss in his life and it just seems like there is a lot of room for disasters here...no matter how good we all are at communication. He's also not sure where the line between openness and privacy are...which seems like a conversation he should have with her. He isn't sure if she talks to his meta about it. (She's been with her other partner for a little over a year.)
Do you have any thoughts or advice on a situation like this...or maybe I just wanted to tell someone about the situation? The vast majority of my poly friends are people I've met through them, and I'm not eager to put their private information out there.
I knew they didn't have a perfect relationship, they opened their relationship about a year ago for not great reasons (trying to spice things up/ fix things etc., etc.) but he opened up last night about how bad it really is. They haven't had any passion for like 2 years and Monday they had a big fight and talked about breaking up (which is a talk they have regularly, I guess.) They are currently in the process of making separate bedrooms in their apartment.
The three of us got together Tuesday night to check in on how everything's going between the three of us and I had no indication things were as bad as they are. They are both very fair and communicative with me about things that directly involve me.
He hasn't asked me for anything, like space or support, just wanted me to know what was going on. He doesn't seem to know what their fate is, which makes sense to me. I'm not entirely sure how to navigate this, which I told him, and we just kind of agreed to go with the flow.
Our relationship is so new and this would be a huge loss in his life and it just seems like there is a lot of room for disasters here...no matter how good we all are at communication. He's also not sure where the line between openness and privacy are...which seems like a conversation he should have with her. He isn't sure if she talks to his meta about it. (She's been with her other partner for a little over a year.)
Do you have any thoughts or advice on a situation like this...or maybe I just wanted to tell someone about the situation? The vast majority of my poly friends are people I've met through them, and I'm not eager to put their private information out there.