Intro: Ciel Du Matin

CielDuMatin

New member
Hello - just want to make a quick post to introduce myself to the group.

I have another name that I tend to be known as on the internet (my "nom de net"), but since this is a public forum, I will not reveal it.

I am a 40-something living in Upstate New York, in a poly "V" with two wonderful ladies, one of whom I live with. I have had my struggles with coming to terms with being poly - feeling that I had to conform to society's norms and so on, and that caused quite a lot of internal turmoil. I discovered the term "polyamory" in the mid-90s and have been working on the details ever since to the point where I think everyone involved is happy. :)

My long-term partner is monogamous, so we have the archetypal "poly/mono" relationship, and my oso is definitely poly. I am very surprised as to how well we have been able to make things work in this setup. I have had several oso's and have found that as we have grown and learned, each one has been more successful and fulfilling than the last.

I am "out" with most of my friends, but with nobody at work, and not with my partner's family either.

Over the past few months I have been working with a bunch of friends to set up a more local poly online community for New York State, and we've been enjoying monthly dinner meet-ups for most of that time. We now have nearly 50 members, which is quite pleasing, since they are all from outside of New York City it feels like some "lost sheep" have found a home.

Anyway, I am looking forward to some lively and friendly discussions on here.
 
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well wishes friend.
 
Nice to meet you Ciel, my name here is also a ... secondary name. It was one I used on the internet before http was a fully developed protocol. (I have been a geek for a long time)...only a handful of people would recognize it let alone know who it was connected to.

:)
 
Back after an absence

Well, it's been a while, but I am back. I had to take some time to deal with a lot of different competing priorities in life, and stepping away from the poly community was one that had to go, I'm afraid.

My oso of 6 years and I split up about a year ago, now, which was extremely hard for me, but it was for the right reasons - not going to go into details here. Knowing it was for the right reasons didn't make it any easier, I'm afraid.

So I have been functionally monogamous for about a year, and just haven't felt like dating with all the hassles that go along with that. I figure that if the right people come into my life that's great, but I'm not going to fret about it.

The local community that I helped create kind of fell apart, and I lost interest in pushing it and trying to make it work.

Time for a new direction, I suppose - still not sure what that is, yet.

So, re-hi :)
 
Greetings CielDuMatin,

Welcome back! We used to exchange posts back in the good old days ... ;) ... perhaps we shall exchange some more. I'd like that.

Sorry to hear about your breakup with your OSO. Hopefully you're feeling better these days.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Healing has been a long process.

Been dealing with quite a bit of loss over the past couple of years. Combined with other stresses of life, work, etc, it has been difficult.

All we can do is hope for the best and look forwards, with the fond memories of the past.

Thanks for the welcome back. :)
 
Glad to see you are back!

I am sorry to hear of the break ups though.

I hope you are healing and doing well.

Galagirl
 
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Well, it was one break-up and the death of my father. Different kinds of loss.

Thanks for the welcome, GG - nice to see some familiar names still around.
 
Hi Ciel

I'm new, but just wanted to say Welcome Back.

Ka kite ano
Evie
 
Sorry to hear about your dad passing away. One cannot heal from something like that overnight.
 
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