Super new to this

Excalibur626

New member
So my wife and I made the decision very recently to try this polyamorous life-style. She had been doing a lot of research for a while into this (of which I had no clue), and popped the idea on me one evening. We talked a long time about it. I surprised her (and myself) that I was totally up for it from the moment she mentioned it. And the thing we found from talking about it is that it made us feel that much stronger about each other. For myself, it seemed a strange feeling to imagine my wife with other man and feel, not only totally ok with it, but that it turned me on more than I ever would have imagined. And she stated likewise.

Now I feel I should state that the idea of hooking up with a couple and swapping, or any other thing with a couple, is not in our immediate plans......at this time. Now that may change down the line as we both grow more comfortable with this way of living.

So the first big question is......where do you find like-minded individuals? Especially when you don't want to go broke shelling money out to a bunch of dating websites. So here I am!!

So if anyone has some great advice on where to meet people, or if you would like to meet me after reading this post.....or text, or whatever, please don't hesitate to reply.

THANKS FOR READING THIS!! :)
 
Excalibur626,

I'm going to move this thread to the General Poly Discussion area. The Dating & Friendships area is really for possibly connecting with potential dates or friends. It's not really meant to be a place to ask for advice.

(P.S. There really isn't a way you could have known that ahead of time.)
 
Welcome... This forum is an invaluable resource to the poly community. Most people respond open and honestly here... Lurk around and read, and never feel afraid to ask questions. Others will post some good reading and forum topics for you to look through I am sure.

Research and open communication is KEY to transitioning to the lifestyle. The fact that you guys appear to be doing that is a step in the right positive direction. Wife and I keep relationships separate for the most part, but being open minded things could change and circumstances may be different. We try to keep thing open and out front so we can talk through situations.

Where do you find like minded individuals... Thats the 6 million dollar question.. Its a combination of things... Dating wise, OKCupid seems to be the best for poly dating, however for some that is really hit or miss. Local meetup groups are a good way to meet real people IRL. Fetlife have been met with success by some looking for a kink etc. Even Long Distance stuff works too since technology can be great even if you are not face to face. Guys have a different experience than women do in the whole process. Not good or bad although it seems it sometimes, but just different. So you have to set your expectations differently.

Good luck with trying the lifestyle out. Feel free to ask me any questions.
-Jay
 
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