tealheron11
New member
I wasn't sure if this should be posted here, or in the relationships section but here goes.
Sometimes it can feel so isolating to be struggling with the emotions and experiences of poly and not have people to confide in who "get it," or understand. On the one hand, I am lucky enough to have really supportive close friends who I *can* talk to and who are there for me. I don't want to minimize my gratitude toward their role. I would say there are 3-4 different close girlfriends that I can talk to who listen, show interest, and empathize. Thing is, they are mono and mono-programmed, and pretty much also 100% take my side (which at times feels good, ha) but it's hard because they haven't experienced these things, and can't always be non-biased.
Where we live, there is not a presence in the community of poly people (at least none that I have come across). There are poly folks, sure, and we have met some of them. The best experience I ever had was going to the loving more conference in colorado in 2017 and meeting the community there. We networked and even made a few friends, one of which was initially a love interest for my husband but has since become my friend. But she is in colorado, and although we keep in touch, it's sporadic. (Side note: I am visiting her next week, thank god!!). In any case, we have met a few poly couples "as friends" and have had dinner with them or played games, but didn't bond with them in an emotional intimacy kind of way. My husband really only has his GF to talk to about poly stuff, we have each other, and I have my bF (who is mono, creating a whole different can of worms). As you can imagine, this gets messy. It's just so hard to find people to talk to who "get it."
I hope this changes for me... I recently got a job out of state in washington, and will be closer to (though not in) seattle, where it seems like there is a solid poly presence. I have tried to network online through facebook groups and such, but it just doesn't resonate or I feel like people are just focused on flirting and dating instead of talking about things and really building friendships. If I am going to continue to do this, I need a support system outside my husband and long-distance friend(s) who I rarely talk to or see.
If anyone else has been here, feel free to comment. I am going through a lot right now and wish I had some buddies to talk to!!
Sometimes it can feel so isolating to be struggling with the emotions and experiences of poly and not have people to confide in who "get it," or understand. On the one hand, I am lucky enough to have really supportive close friends who I *can* talk to and who are there for me. I don't want to minimize my gratitude toward their role. I would say there are 3-4 different close girlfriends that I can talk to who listen, show interest, and empathize. Thing is, they are mono and mono-programmed, and pretty much also 100% take my side (which at times feels good, ha) but it's hard because they haven't experienced these things, and can't always be non-biased.
Where we live, there is not a presence in the community of poly people (at least none that I have come across). There are poly folks, sure, and we have met some of them. The best experience I ever had was going to the loving more conference in colorado in 2017 and meeting the community there. We networked and even made a few friends, one of which was initially a love interest for my husband but has since become my friend. But she is in colorado, and although we keep in touch, it's sporadic. (Side note: I am visiting her next week, thank god!!). In any case, we have met a few poly couples "as friends" and have had dinner with them or played games, but didn't bond with them in an emotional intimacy kind of way. My husband really only has his GF to talk to about poly stuff, we have each other, and I have my bF (who is mono, creating a whole different can of worms). As you can imagine, this gets messy. It's just so hard to find people to talk to who "get it."
I hope this changes for me... I recently got a job out of state in washington, and will be closer to (though not in) seattle, where it seems like there is a solid poly presence. I have tried to network online through facebook groups and such, but it just doesn't resonate or I feel like people are just focused on flirting and dating instead of talking about things and really building friendships. If I am going to continue to do this, I need a support system outside my husband and long-distance friend(s) who I rarely talk to or see.
If anyone else has been here, feel free to comment. I am going through a lot right now and wish I had some buddies to talk to!!