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  #1  
Old 12-06-2018, 02:12 AM
tennesseegalz24 tennesseegalz24 is offline
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Default How to tell your boyfriend that you are polyamorous?

Howdy, yall. So I finally figured out who I am in terms of my sexual preference. Thats why my marriage didnt go so well. I have love for more than one person. Well I have been dating this guy I really like for like a month now. Here's my thing how can I go about asking him to be a polygamous relationship and not lose him. While making my own self happy in the relationship?
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Old 12-06-2018, 06:00 AM
Evie Evie is offline
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Don't ask him, tell him that this is who you are and how you conduct your relationships. If you "lose him" then you weren't a good match in the first place.

Then add "polyamorous" to whatever profile you are most likely to meet people through and live authentically from day 1 with the next guy.
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Old 12-06-2018, 07:46 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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I agree with Evie. You've been seeing this guy for a month, that's still really new. Just tell him you finally realized this thing about yourself and tell him you hope he is comfortable but understand if he's not. Then let him decide if it's something he wants.
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  #4  
Old 12-06-2018, 10:14 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings tennesseegalz24,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Evie and AlwaysGrowing are both right, just tell your boyfriend that you have realized this about yourself, and that you wonder how he feels about it. Hopefully you won't lose him, but keep in mind some people are hardwired to be monogamous. That may include him. You would not want him to try to make you be monogamous, so don't try to make him be polyamorous unless that's something he wants to do.

Hopefully this thread has helped you so far.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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  #5  
Old 12-07-2018, 03:13 PM
edpsy77 edpsy77 is online now
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Default Have you come out to your friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by tennesseegalz24 View Post
Howdy, yall. So I finally figured out who I am in terms of my sexual preference. Thats why my marriage didnt go so well. I have love for more than one person. Well I have been dating this guy I really like for like a month now. Here's my thing how can I go about asking him to be a polygamous relationship and not lose him. While making my own self happy in the relationship?
I agree with the other posters. But I am curious have you told your friends? If you have what is their response. I hope they are poly accepting even if they are monogamous.
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  #6  
Old 12-12-2018, 11:38 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tennesseegalz24 View Post
Howdy, yall. So I finally figured out who I am in terms of my sexual preference. Thats why my marriage didnt go so well. I have love for more than one person. Well I have been dating this guy I really like for like a month now. Here's my thing how can I go about asking him to be a polygamous relationship and not lose him. While making my own self happy in the relationship?
I date using the site OK Cupid. It's mentioned in my profile and in the questions and answers you can fill out to determine your match algorithims, that I am polyamorous (and that I have a female nesting partner, and that we do not share partners, etc.).

It's only fair to let a new dating partner know up front that you are not interested in exclusivity.

And btw, some newbie polys, in the midst of infatuation (NRE) will decide to be Closed with a new hot partner. They are overwhelmed with falling in love. But after the first rush fades, they will probably want to be Open. So don't make the mistake of telling a new person you will be Closed with them. You might change your mind after a few months.
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