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  #1  
Old 12-04-2018, 04:27 PM
MiHippieChic MiHippieChic is offline
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Location: Michigan
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Default Michigan girl here :)

Hi everyone, I'm Erin. I'm brand new to polyamory, never even knew it existed until it happened.
I'm bi. But I married a man and was faithful and loyal the last 16 years.. we will be celebrating our 14th anniversary on December 18th. We have 2 boys, ages 14 and 11. 4 dogs. 2 cats. Chaos abounds here lol.
We live in a small town in northern Michigan. Just moved here 5 years ago from Detroit. Big change, totally different culture. Finally learning it. Hard to make friends, and the friends I have made are great people, just, well, how do I put it... We're just educated differently I guess. I love them, but I hadn't found anyone I could trust, that I could really talk to.
Then my son made a friend. He and his friend, over a few months, pushed his mom and I to meet, apparently knowing we'd click. And we did when we finally met. We became SO close.
I got what I always called a "girl crush" on her. I didn't know it, but she did with me as well. My husband and I have always been honest with each other, and I told him. Before her, both of us had "traditional" views of marriage, etc. He and I had a long conversation, filled with what ifs, etc. He planned a night for us three. We got a sitter and went to the city, had a beautiful dinner, and went to a hotel. We had one of the most amazing nights of my life. Long story short, we all got deeper feelings. Again, hubby and I had a conversation that lasted a couple days, again filled with what ifs, etc. We decided to invite her to be in our marriage. Not as a second, but as an equal.
So yeah, we are really just beginning this. I do see a long relationship in our future - her kids call me mom n hubs dad and vice versa - and thought it might be a good idea to become a member here and see how others work it out.
For me, it all feels right, pure. Like it was meant to be us three all along...
Anyhow, that's me. I'm an open book, so any questions you may have please ask! Thanks for reading! 😀
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  #2  
Old 12-04-2018, 11:37 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Location: Yelm, Washington
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Greetings Erin,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I have read your other thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, you are at the very beginning of a wonderful journey. A long journey, a journey of millions of steps. In which case, there's no need to be in a hurry, take time to smell the roses. Let your husband take his time too, he needs a chance to adjust to this very new and strange (to him) situation. Just be there for him in whatever way he needs, who knows what kind of comfort he'll need.

You have the makings of a happy triad, which believe me is a rare thing. People have V's all the time, especially MFM V's, but an MFF triad? Lots of folks dream about it, want it, search for it, but never find it. So many mistakes are made, one of which is making the new person a "third" and second place next to "the marriage." You are welcoming this new woman as an equal. That's a big deal, it improves your chances enormously. Keep us posted on this forum, and we will give updated feedback and advice.

I am just curious, how were you able to discover the word "polyamory" ... and how were you able to find this site? I know I know, Google, but what search terms did you use (and how did you know to use them)? Also, how long have you been living in northern Michigan? Are you adjusting to the Winters okay? I know that's not a poly question, I was just curious. I used to live in Metro Detroit myself. Sometimes I really miss it. As for northern Michigan, I think it's fantastic, that's my opinion.

I'm glad you could join us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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  #3  
Old 12-05-2018, 01:04 AM
MiHippieChic MiHippieChic is offline
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Location: Michigan
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Ok, I'm trying to learn how to quote quite unsuccessfully... Bear with me as I'm on my phone.

Thank you for the good feelings. Like I stated, her as my equal just seems right. I can't imagine it differently, but I do understand that every relationship is very different. I've told both of them that just like hub doesn't want to get in between her and I, I don't want to get between them. Honestly, I want to foster that relationship. I'm not really trying to rush everything, but this gooey part, well, yes, I'm ready for that to end. I watch what I'm doing (cards, stuffed bears, freshly baked goodies) and realize that if it was my best friend I'd be giving her crap for it. 😆. But I can't help it. The more I know her, the good,the bad, and the annoying, the more amazing I find her.

As for how we found the word polyamory, I'm honestly not sure. My hubby recently had to spend his 34 hr restart in his truck in Kansas. So he did research. He's been trying to wrap his head around it too, and his way if doing so is online research. Like a lot of it. He started sending both of us cute little memes (good morning, goodnight, etc) and he was finding it difficult given our situation lol. He came across it, and told me. Then in trying to figure out how to explain myself I literally googled "how to tell my husband why I'm ok with welcoming a woman into our marriage" and this forum came up.

I've lived in Detroit all my life, and northern Michigan for a little over 5 years. The winters aren't too much different, I'm not that far north. I'm about an hour away from traverse City. So at the top sorta of the mitten, not up. That winter I could not do. The biggest and hardest adjustment for me and the kids (hubby fits in everywhere it seems) has been the culture. I was raised to mind your own business. Period. Yeah. That is SO not a value here. Everyone is in everyone else's crap. Even though I stay out, I'm the one everyone seems to come spill to. Probably cuz I honestly let it go in one ear and out the other, and if I tell someone it's hubby. Well. And now our girl. ☺️ She is actually originally from Alaska, so to her our winters are just. Lol. Winters. I do love living here to spite all the BS. It's basically safe, my kids can actually walk up to the store, around the neighborhood, and I know people are watching and they will be ok. Lake Michigan is 10 minutes away, and I can actually see a different, smaller lake at the end of my street. Summers are awesome, although the tourists (yes, I live in a kind of tourist town, where like 1/4 of the houses are summer homes) can be extremely annoying. Falls are just gorgeous. Winters, while driving can be dangerous if you don't have the right vehicle, are beautiful, especially right after it snows and it's fresh. Personality-wise, yes, I'm kind of a city girl. But I am in love with this country. You'd have to kill me and take my dead body there to get me to move back to Detroit. Nope. Never. I am in love with this place. 😁


Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Greetings Erin,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I have read your other thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, you are at the very beginning of a wonderful journey. A long journey, a journey of millions of steps. In which case, there's no need to be in a hurry, take time to smell the roses. Let your husband take his time too, he needs a chance to adjust to this very new and strange (to him) situation. Just be there for him in whatever way he needs, who knows what kind of comfort he'll need.

You have the makings of a happy triad, which believe me is a rare thing. People have V's all the time, especially MFM V's, but an MFF triad? Lots of folks dream about it, want it, search for it, but never find it. So many mistakes are made, one of which is making the new person a "third" and second place next to "the marriage." You are welcoming this new woman as an equal. That's a big deal, it improves your chances enormously. Keep us posted on this forum, and we will give updated feedback and advice.

I am just curious, how were you able to discover the word "polyamory" ... and how were you able to find this site? I know I know, Google, but what search terms did you use (and how did you know to use them)? Also, how long have you been living in northern Michigan? Are you adjusting to the Winters okay? I know that's not a poly question, I was just curious. I used to live in Metro Detroit myself. Sometimes I really miss it. As for northern Michigan, I think it's fantastic, that's my opinion.

I'm glad you could join us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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  #4  
Old 12-05-2018, 01:37 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 16,522
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Thanks for that added info, it looks like you are starting to get the quote thing figured out. I would think it would be hard to do on one's phone, so.

Yeah, I really miss Fall in Michigan. Fall in northern Michigan even more so. It sounds like you are not too far north, maybe even within reach of Frankenmuth amirite?

It sounds like you have quite a sweet relationship with your girl, I envy you. Give her a nickname, I never know what to call her! It's always amazing to me when someone finds this forum, polyamory is still such an obscure topic. I'm glad you're here.
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  #5  
Old 12-05-2018, 02:08 AM
MiHippieChic MiHippieChic is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11
Unhappy

We are about an hr an a half north of Frankenmuth... when I'm done with this reply I'll pm you. I kind of live in what I like to call "the land of lakes" lol. There's water everywhere. The 1st year we were here, that winter, my kids saw ice shanties on the lake by us and freaked. It was funny, but that's another big thing here.

As for her nickname... Call her moonshine. See, hubs always called me his sunshine, so after awhile he wanted to give her a term of endearment, so he started calling her that. We all even got tattoos - me a sun, her a moon, and him a compass that has both inside. I can show u pics if you want, they are beautiful.

I'm very glad to have found this forum. It's honestly providing me with some good perspective. I'm curious to know what it's like from her end, if we're doing everything right. Lol, niether of us have dated in 16 yrs! Things have so changed. And I really want her to know and feel as important as she is to us. I know this is rare. It's seemed amazing, once in a lifetime, since the beginning. It's also seemed right. Second nature. Like meant to be. Udk. NRE I guess but not completely. Cuz even when I'm aggravated with her I feel this way.
Funny, we have yet to have "alone" sex, but we've cuddled and kissed and groped since our night. Yet my feelings are just growing. As are my own insecurities. About myself. Like this is so amazing, rare, and I know it. I get why she deserves it, but me? I keep feeling like I will somehow screw it up. But damn, I do love them both so much. So much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Thanks for that added info, it looks l
Like you are starting to get the quote thing figured out. I would think it would be hard to do on one's phone, so.

Yeah, I really miss Fall in Michigan. Fall in northern Michigan even more so. It sounds like you are not too far north, maybe even within reach of Frankenmuth amirite?

It sounds like you have quite a sweet relationship with your girl, I envy you. Give her a nickname, I never know what to call her! It's always amazing to me when someone finds this forum, polyamory is still such an obscure topic. I'm glad you're here.
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  #6  
Old 12-05-2018, 08:08 PM
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Al99 Al99 is offline
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Hi Erin - and welcome to the Forum! I also noted your other post - and will look forward to hearing more of your story as it evolves, and please do feel free to join in the other conversations in the Forum as well.

Since you are new to poly, here's a link to a few excellent web sites on poly - with lots of good info (for free!).

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191

Best of luck on your journey! Al
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Dramatis Personae:
Me: Al99, poly, heterosexual male, 50's
Becky: married to Al99, poly, heterosexual female, late 30's
Bouncingbetty: ldr girlfriend to Al99, poly, pansexual female, early 30's
Ben: Becky's medium-ldr bf, heterosexual male, 40's
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My Introductory Post - An Unexpected Introduction to Poly.
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  #7  
Old 12-05-2018, 08:27 PM
MiHippieChic MiHippieChic is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11
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Thank you 😁

[/B]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Al99 View Post
Hi Erin - and welcome to the Forum! I also noted your other post - and will look forward to hearing more of your story as it evolves, and please do feel free to join in the other conversations in the Forum as well.

Since you are new to poly, here's a link to a few excellent web sites on poly - with lots of good info (for free!).

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191

Best of luck on your journey! Al
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  #8  
Old 12-05-2018, 09:38 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 16,522
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Hi Erin,

Thanks for the added info on where you live. What awesome surroundings, all that water. The ice shanties are for ice fishing, amirite?

I really like how the three of you seem to have a natural vibe for each other. Don't feel unworthy, all three of you deserve these good things! Thanks for the nicknames, I hope it's okay if I say J (Jer Bear) on this thread too.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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