PolyinPractice
New member
False.
I threw up a profile on OKC one night because I was bored and the personality questions are fun. I wasn't remotely "looking." A few months later, Auto re-entered the dating scene and started perusing OKC. We matched >90% so she fired off a message. I was intrigued, we went on a coffee date, and *click* we've been together for 2+ years now.
Indeed, the best things in my life have always fallen serendipitously into my lap, with little to no effort on my part. My motto has become "If things aren't working out, stop trying so hard."
Putting up on ad on OKC counts as "looking," imho, but that's not really the point. If the OP wants new relationships, he's agreed that he has to put effort into building relationships around himself, whether in person or online.
When my partner and I met, neither of us were looking, in fact we were both actively NOT looking and trying to focus on other things. But I think the connection happened partly due to luck (do you want to rely on that or not?), and partly due to us both working very hard to put ourselves both in a place where, if a connection DID come our way, we would both be able to take advantage of it. In poly, building that foundation is very important.
Maybe I neglected mentioning that part, OP. It's not enough just to go looking. If you find someone, you have to be in position to do something about it Things like, if you have kids, the kids are used to seeing you have friends over, of the same sex or opposite, with the wife around or not, so that when you DO have a date over, they don't think anything of it. Or whatever your particular situation is; perhaps you don't mind if the kids know about your dates, as they are old enough, or something.
Edit: I didn't see your responses regarding the, is creating a profile "looking," but, yeah that's what I meant. Pounding the pavement not necessary Though I'm not sure if online dating is as effective as the old fashioned approach, still
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