Sageflutterby
Member
When metamour reacted with suicide threat and hinge pushed therapy for her, she waffled out and said she had no intentions of committing suicide as she had children. Hinge said he didn't want to piss her off pushing therapy and having to live with anger and a grudge so backed down from trying to get her mental help.
She started reading More Than Two. Then told hinge she wanted her weekends back. And then when hinge asked her to quantify things she needed to feel cared about, she flipped out and said she was done, she no longer cared to consider other people's needs and wasn't open to negotiating a schedule.
After further discussion, hinge and I adjusted a schedule to 6 meets a month instead of the 8 as we had agreed to, mostly because he offered a schedule to metamour and messed up his math. I no longer go over to their house and am skeptical of the future arrangement but am trying to be considerate and flexible.
I reserved the right to re negotiate the terms of our visitation after a prolonged period of time. Hinge and I, when metamour was reading More Than Two had tentatively made plans to try again and were not broken up. Apparently hinge had a panic attack and tried to break up with me to protect me but admitted he hadn't stopped loving me or wanting to build something long term. He was trying to protect me from metamour.
I told him I was an adult and not to make decisions for me, that I would decide when the bullshit and hurt were too much. Which after we discussed the schedule, I told him that if my time with him were diminished any further I would seriously need to consider a permanent break. He had asked to remain friends and as I consider him to be in a situation of emotional manipulation and abuse and did not want to isolate him, I told him that regardless of a romantic relationship if he needed help, he could come to me and as long as it did not hurt or destabilize my children, that I would help him as much as I could.
I suppose there is more drama in the future as I am uncertain of the metamour's stance. She says she doesn't care about anyone's needs but herself and is currently leveraging parental guilt on hinge. But I guess he will deal with it though I try to offer suggestions like game nights once a week for him and the kids or other things.
I am not happy about the diminishing of the meets but he's made it clear it's not sex and that he does value me. And I could not figure out how to diminish my attachment to him.
She started reading More Than Two. Then told hinge she wanted her weekends back. And then when hinge asked her to quantify things she needed to feel cared about, she flipped out and said she was done, she no longer cared to consider other people's needs and wasn't open to negotiating a schedule.
After further discussion, hinge and I adjusted a schedule to 6 meets a month instead of the 8 as we had agreed to, mostly because he offered a schedule to metamour and messed up his math. I no longer go over to their house and am skeptical of the future arrangement but am trying to be considerate and flexible.
I reserved the right to re negotiate the terms of our visitation after a prolonged period of time. Hinge and I, when metamour was reading More Than Two had tentatively made plans to try again and were not broken up. Apparently hinge had a panic attack and tried to break up with me to protect me but admitted he hadn't stopped loving me or wanting to build something long term. He was trying to protect me from metamour.
I told him I was an adult and not to make decisions for me, that I would decide when the bullshit and hurt were too much. Which after we discussed the schedule, I told him that if my time with him were diminished any further I would seriously need to consider a permanent break. He had asked to remain friends and as I consider him to be in a situation of emotional manipulation and abuse and did not want to isolate him, I told him that regardless of a romantic relationship if he needed help, he could come to me and as long as it did not hurt or destabilize my children, that I would help him as much as I could.
I suppose there is more drama in the future as I am uncertain of the metamour's stance. She says she doesn't care about anyone's needs but herself and is currently leveraging parental guilt on hinge. But I guess he will deal with it though I try to offer suggestions like game nights once a week for him and the kids or other things.
I am not happy about the diminishing of the meets but he's made it clear it's not sex and that he does value me. And I could not figure out how to diminish my attachment to him.