Talking to a partner about dates with others

TrollE

New member
Hey folks,

I am wondering how y'all bring up the desire to go on a date with someone else?
Have you and your partners come up with protocol to go about this or do you bring it up whenever, however the time available allows?

I have been noticing how I have been bringing things up at the wrong time, and I have been doing this pretty consistently. I am wondering how others do it, so I could glean some insight and hopefully change how I bring up other dates (by other dates I mean the whole of other relationships, what boundaries, details about when the date will occur and plans).

How do you do it?
 
start to be honest as soon it is a real relation with feelings

I see that it is an old message :)

Anyhow, i think when the meetings will be serious with real meetings, you must be honest that you never stop loving and meeting others too. That includes that you must explain why you believe in poly and another can't be the only one for you. So you must have answers for yourself why you are poly and have a need for more persons to love.

Don't seek the answer too far. Be honest in your feelings to yourself, that is the only way to explain it to others.
 
Hey folks,

I am wondering how y'all bring up the desire to go on a date with someone else?
Have you and your partners come up with protocol to go about this or do you bring it up whenever, however the time available allows?

I have been noticing how I have been bringing things up at the wrong time, and I have been doing this pretty consistently. I am wondering how others do it, so I could glean some insight and hopefully change how I bring up other dates (by other dates I mean the whole of other relationships, what boundaries, details about when the date will occur and plans).

How do you do it?

I'm guessing that its not that you're consistent in bringing it up at the wrong time, I'll bet that there is consistently no right time for your partner. They will always be yuck about it regardless of the time or their mood. Its their issue...not yours. Just tell them precisely when you think to yourself " I wonder if I should tell my partner?"
 
Re (from OP):
"How do you do it?"

How do I do it? I go straight to Snowbunny (the hinge and leader of my V) and tell her. She decides if, what, and when to tell Brother-Husband (my metamour, the other leg of the V).

Mind you I tell Snowbunny long before an actual date becomes a possibility. I tell Snowbunny as soon as I start getting to know the new person.

And, that's how I do it, me in my situation. What works for you may be different from what works for me.

But that's my answer to your initial question; perhaps it'll help.
 
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