dragonflysky
New member
Well then....let those who like "short and candied posts" read the short and candied ones! I'm rather fond of in-depth posts, and as far as I know a vote hasn't been taken to determine what "most" prefer??
I never see friendship as something to be called "mere."
I never see friendship as something to be called "mere."
hmmmm..I understand you see the FWB ending in mere friendship. But why does that have to end, or is it just in this case?
An FWB...can be something truly intimate and long term. Its range is pretty massive and its meaning can be pretty vague.
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As for handling term limited relationships. Well, in my experience. I suck at them. I have a hard time entering into relationships when I can see an end. I end up focusing too much on the end and not having fun. In my case, I can learn,..I have before and I am not, but I am not sure I would care to enter into a term limited relationship.
from - https://www.bustle.com/p/how-to-hav...efits-relationship-according-to-science-75373"Like many a seasoned practitioner, I have reaped the benefits and suffered the setbacks from having sex with my friends. Some situations were fun and lighthearted, some ended awkwardly, and others continue to haunt my dreams in the best way possible. The common denominator is that at the core was a friendship that existed before we hit the sheets — that's the difference between a FWB and a casual hookup after all. Although the terms may be used interchangeably, to me, a "f*ck buddy" isn't a friend with benefits. The former centers the sex, and the latter centers the friendship."
"While having a friend with benefits is something everyone should experience once, it’s also something that shouldn’t be allowed to last too long. An FWB is the intermission you take between relationships, and nothing more, so you should always be aware that the time will come to end it." from - https://www.bolde.com/why-you-need-to-ditch-your-friend-with-benefits/
I don't think an FWB relationship needs to have an expiration date ... just my opinion but.
Yes! This! My FWBs are abiding friendships! Sure, some of them have been through an NRE (& fucking like rabbits) phase, then settled into a more balanced state of existence, but because we were never together we never broke up so we simply continue.
By "together" do you mean "in a capital R Relationship"?
I'm just wondering what distinguishes Relationships from FWB situations, once we allow for feelings and endurance over time. It's not cohabitation, 'cause many capital R Relationships don't involve cohabitation.
Is there anything like consensus on any of these terms, or are we all simply imagining that these phrases hold a common meaning?
I would think there are differences in the nature of the feelings involved, but obviously, there's no objectivity, nor a sharp line. Maybe some of these relationships will feel more friend-like and some more romance-like or partner-like, so you are free to use different labels?Is there anything like consensus on any of these terms, or are we all simply imagining that these phrases hold a common meaning?
IMHO, there are two main types of Friends With Benefits:
1.) FWB arrangements that include little or no feelings of attachment and nothing that comes close to "romance" of any kind. These I'd more appropriately term "fuck buddies", "booty-calls" or "hook-ups". Here, the emphasis is on the sex. The word love is not mentioned.
2.) FWBs where the emphasis is on the friendship rather than the sex. Don't get me wrong, the sex might be great when it happens, but it is not the major reason these two people choose to hang out with, or like each other.
In the second camp, you'll often find: ex-partners who have transitioned to friends... housemates... besties who were formerly platonic only... metamours who are attracted but not "in love", and the like... i.e. people you know well across many dimensions of each other's lives.
In the first camp you may find: ex-partners with whom you have a fractious relationship (possibly don't even like very much) yet are still sexually attracted... work colleagues or people one runs into occasionally on business trips... a one-night-stand/hook-up from a club or dating site that turns into an on-going "thing", or the like.