So you are looking for a woman to join you as your secondary in your poly lifestyle.... it seems pretty clear to me by the words that you use what you are hoping to achieve. I am only reading your words.
Yes they make my blood boil. And yes they would be considered taboo. Not because they are from you in particular as I indicated in the first lines of my last post, but because they indicate a complete lack of thought about who you think you are going to get to become your secondary. Quite frankly I get sick of hearing such blatant disregard for others... whether the person means to be disregarding or not.
For the record I have never heard a single woman ever say that she would want a couple to "join her." I assume because she is excited about the idea of having two separate love relationships that would also include her together with them, not a conglomerate made up of two that will assimilate her because they are looking for a secondary to "join them" in THEIR lifestyle.
Please don't assume that this forum is entirely made up of newbie haters. I don't think it is at all fair to judge an entire forum on the remarks of one person. I suggest that you decide to take on a more positive approach to this forum as it can be a great resource and of great help if you are open to it. It seems you have decided that you are not going to be helped, that you will be scoffed at and have already decided to leave here saying "I told you so" before even getting started.... we were all new here and new to poly at one time, we know where you are coming from, but a lot of us are not new now and are only here out of our love to help others. No other reason... I would be taking advantage of that rather than trying to provoke agreements that we all suck.
Your response in this thread is not much different than most people who hunt unicorns to me. I'm sorry you feel like you were "slapped with a label." If you don't like it then I suggest changing your language to something along the lines of "I am a man who has a wife and we are looking to form a triad with a woman who is equal to us in every way because she is just as valuable to the relationship as either of us would be." If you disagree with this statement I gave you as an option then I would wonder if you are a unicorn hunter.... that is not meant as derogatory, its a term commonly used for people who tell their story (however brief) as you have thus far.
I, for one, am not interested in clarification of your story as I have read like stories over and over again. If you care to tell it I will read it (perhaps you have already elsewhere), but please understand when given the information you gave us here about finding what seems to be a unicorn to join you in being your secondary so you can have the poly lifestyle you are trying to have most of us that have read thoroughly, been here forever, or have been poly forever will likely not ask for details.
I hope I said this in the nicest way possible as you seem to be easily offended.
Its not my intent to offend (as I have said before), I am just saying it like it is for myself and as others have had similar responses you might want to look at that