Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-13-2011, 02:10 PM
NewToRaleigh NewToRaleigh is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
Default New to Forums, not Polyamory

I've been married for 7 years and with my husband for 12 years total. We started discussing being poly (though we didn't know the term then) about 2 years into our relationship when I realized that being monogamous didn't work for me personally or philosophically. My husband had, until that point, always imagined that sort of white picket fence life being faithful to his wife (in my mind, even if he were unhappy). Once we discussed being open to sexual encounters with other people for a really long while, we decided that it could work for us.

Much of our "poly" life has been about being open to sex, but relationships have been more complicated. In fact, we're currently working to move past someone he was seeing who became obsessed with convincing him to leave me and who believes very much (I know, thanks to the long Facebook messages she's sent me) that she loves my husband more than I ever could because I "share" him.

Those events, plus the realization that we can talk to no one in our real lives about being poly led me to look for an appropriate internet community. We've recently - last week! - moved to Raleigh, NC, and I really hope we'll be able to connect with some people here who don't need a long-winded explanation about the way we live. We're also hoping to move more toward dating a third person. We've both seen the same woman once before, and it felt really comfortable. I'm sure that change in our lives will require much thought & discussion about how to make everything work.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2011, 09:29 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Welcome! I know there are a few members here who live in NC, but not sure where or how close to Raleigh. Has your husband registered here, too? It's always nice to have both members of a couple posting about what's going on with them.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2011, 11:00 PM
Diabloabogado Diabloabogado is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 1

Just checking in... I'm the husband of NewToRaleigh. The only thing I would add is that I'm really hoping that these forums and the various groups in and around Raleigh will help us feel like we are not "abnormal" in our lifestyle. We didn't tell even our closest friends until we were already moving.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 02:41 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Welcome aboard.

Originally Posted by NewToRaleigh View Post
Much of our "poly" life has been about being open to sex, but relationships have been more complicated.
Then you are open as well as poly. You can do both of those at the same time (my wife and I are poly AND have an open relationship).
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 08:11 AM.