Black & White the world is not
There is a huge space between working 60-80 hours a week (only paid for 40) & having no work at all.
One is commonly labeled a workaholic. The other is often called a leach, lazy bum, couch potato...
The middle ground is where one works enough to manage their financial obligations, but allows time for a life outside of work.
Major changes this year:
My continued efforts to not be an enabler, to work on self improvement in areas of managing depression, anxiety, ADD, OCD, education, tendency to enable by doing it all myself.
School level now requires i be physically on a campus an hour from home for all classes & the classes I need are three-five days a week. Prior to this year I did most classes on line and in-person classes only two days a week.
Maca injured his back and was told he needs to stop working physical labor work. Which isn't financially possible until i finish my degree and can make up the difference in wages.
Sour pea is having behavioral issues directly related to having boundaries undermined and not upheld by authority figures in her life and exacerbated by her beig ADD & the dr being unwilling to medicate her for at least another year. All of which is affecting her ability to do school and requiring more hands on attention.
Sweet pea has hit teen years full throttle, has classes in a variety of venues he needs transported to at myriad times whih conflict with maintaining a stable, uninterrupted school day for sour pea as well as conflicting with my class times and the guys work schedules.
Maca has been sent to work out of town for 8 straight months with no time home-and accepted the position BECAUSE GG said he was quitting his job, which meant we woukd NEED the overtime $. But GG didnt quit his job because "whats the point". However-maca had already committed to running the work and can't back out.
GG quit writing in our journal-completely.
Over the last two years; In my efforts to work on my tendency to enable others to continue their dysfunctional behaviors by covering for them and doing their dirt work, I stopped tracking time for GG, stopped scheduling visits with his friends for him, stopped scheduling our dates, stopped carefully fixing the problems that arose and quit covering for him.
Yeah-a LOT has changed dramatically in the last couple years. Quite a lot.
And no-the problems weren't GG's sole creation. The solution isn't either. But i am actively taking concrete steps to resolve my part. THIS BLOG is where i vent about the frustrations that arise in that process.
The most devastating, heartbreaking frustration has been watching GG throw away his relationships one at a time by making no time and putting no effort into maintaining them at all. Leading finally to ours this year.
His best friend, his family, our adult children, our extended family. He only has contact with them if they make it haloen or i arrange it.
So yeah-I bitch about what HE isnt doing because he is giving up everything he ever cared about. EVERYTHING. NOT just me.