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  #1  
Old 04-13-2016, 10:10 AM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
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Default Looking for poly

Hi I wanted to know if there is any good online dating apps or sites out there to find other polyamory people out there. Either for friendship or for dating. I come from a smaller town so I only know of one in town here my ex. Any help would be great. Thank you.
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  #2  
Old 04-13-2016, 11:09 AM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is offline
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OKCupid ❤️
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:16 PM
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Definitely OKCupid. Some other possibilities:
Hope that helps.
Regards,
Kevin T.
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Old 04-20-2016, 12:54 PM
RUourcouple RUourcouple is offline
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Default poly match sites

Forgive me for being negative but we have tried 4 of those sites for as long as 2 years and the results have been disappointing. A couple of the possibilities we thought we had resulted in no-shows getting cold feet when it was meeting time.
Hopefully some out there can have much happier tales to tell.
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Old 04-20-2016, 01:20 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
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RUourcouple, by "we," do you mean each of you has had separate no-shows, or are you trying to date as a couple? People interested in dating a couple, especially bi-women (not sure if a HBB is your hope, but it's the most common one for couples), are few and far between to begin with. Since they're also the most sough-after demographic, they also have a huge selection of possibilities, meaning attracting their interest can be very difficult. And, often (not always, of course) those people considering dating a couple are new to poly, since most of the bi poly (men and women, but especially women) I've encountered stop dating couples fairly quickly. Meaning, it's also not surprising they get cold feet when faced with the overwhelming proposition of being confronted with a unified couple.

I am not saying people dating singly always have luck, just like mono people on mono-oriented sites don't, but if you're only dating as couple you're likely to have markedly worse luck.
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Old 04-23-2016, 03:50 PM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Some other possibilities:
A continued big for PMM.
  • you need to sign up to check it out.
  • if you're not the chatty sort, you can browse the Profiles & "poke" them (basically a "Hi, contact me!" flag) for free; being able to send Pmails will cost you a mere $12.99/month.
  • they eliminated their Forums almost a decade ago, so now you've got no opportunity to see how people behave in public -- the only IRL meets I've had with PMMers occurred because we had fun in open discussions.
  • also, without Forums, there's NOBODY to encourage noobs to do stuff like interact with extant members, ask good questions, talk about their wants/hopes a little, write a GREAT profile, put up a photo, etc., so the Profiles have gone suck in recent years.
  • before you ask: members are explicitly banned from mentioning stuff in their Profiles, like real-world accomplishments, or membership on other sites, or ANY online activities. For instance, I couldn't name my published books or articles, my activities on music & political sites, or my few artworks, or give advice to others who wanted to sell stuff (eBay, Amazon, Etsy, GEMM).
  • don't believe any "membership" numbers: though it's buried now, a general search of Profiles used to display all of the "last login" dates, &, even when the Forums were hot, almost 90% signed up, blundered around, & never returned, & more than half of the listings hadn't returned in 2+ years.
  • on the upside, hope springs eternal: in the past 24 hours, ~150 have logged in, most with photos. Mostly SWMs, of course, but a decent mix of gender & preference.
Are their any other PMM refugess hereabouts...?
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I was on AFF years ago, pre-PMM even. I got tired of flushing garbage out of the inbox. I gave up after spotting the identical profile under five entirely different names, all launched in the previous 24 hours. Have things got better?

Last edited by Ravenscroft; 04-23-2016 at 03:59 PM.
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  #7  
Old 04-24-2016, 01:19 AM
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I used to have a PMM account back when they had a forum. I had never heard of AFF until well after I had removed myself from the online dating game.

It seems to me that OKC is by far the best remaining option, and I've heard it's gone downhill as well. I guess it's just hard to be poly and dating, whether online or offline. [shrug]
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  #8  
Old 04-24-2016, 01:51 PM
RUourcouple RUourcouple is offline
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Default Dating sites (Poly?)

Yes KDT I agree about OKC becoming less of a possibility. As a couple we had spent a couple of years on AFF and as it was posted the inbox was full of fakes and or people that wanted a one time hit it and be gone. As I had stated we had many other profiles from other sites and yes we did set up meetings with couples in a public setting to establish the groundwork for a poly beginning. Never making the right connection made us feel like freaks where we were looking for something nobody else was. Despite our lack of making a couples connection we were able to meet a fantastic young gentleman and create a V relationship and that has been ongoing for over a year now. My wife is truly in love with this man and it is a healthy love that enhances our relationship instead of tearing us apart. We do enjoy but yet she knows my desire for a female interaction to share the experience of loving someone outside of our primary relationship
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  #9  
Old 04-24-2016, 08:26 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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I don't check my account on OKC very often, generally only when I get a message. I've had an account for a few years (3?) - what makes you say that it has gone downhill recently? My understanding was that they had added a few more options for relationship status that actually were poly friendly.

Maybe it is the way I have my profile set-up or the the way I answered the (lots and LOTS) of questions, but I think that I have a much better signal-to-noise ratio than most poly-bi-women report.

I think that people dating as a "couple" are going to have a much harder time on any site. I am very clear in my profile that I am NOT part of a package deal and am not interested in such and that my "penis-bucket" is full.
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JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost ex-lover-friend, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS; live-in with Katniss
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #10  
Old 04-24-2016, 11:23 PM
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I don't remember what I heard, when I heard it, or whom I heard it from. Does OKC have a forum right now? I might have heard that they did and that they removed it. Something like that. As for the relationship status they added, see Thanks for nothing, OkCupid...
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