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Old 12-13-2009, 05:16 AM
bigtreehouse bigtreehouse is offline
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Default meeting people

Having a hard time meeting like minded people. Any ideas or suggestions?
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Old 12-13-2009, 05:26 AM
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nikkiana nikkiana is offline
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Location: Brooklyn, NY
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Website wise, I've personally had good luck with okcupid.com, but I bring that to the table with the caveats of success tends to depend somewhat on your location and age... It tends to be most popular in more densely populated areas and the demographic tends to be under 35... and it's a general dating site that happens to be okay with poly folk using it, so it's not a given that people you may run across on there are poly or even poly friendly, so it's best to state that's what you're looking for right on your profile.

Beyond that, check to see if there are any poly groups in your area... if there aren't and you're socially ambitious, you can always start one...

I've also been very surprised how many people have been affirming in circles I didn't expect when I just came out and said how I live my life.
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:25 AM
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Sweetheart Sweetheart is offline
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We haven't had as much luck with dating sites, but I know they work well for many people.

For us, we just meet people in daily life, the same way you'd meet single monogamous people.

According to some threads on this site, you can apparently find concentrations of poly people among gamers, strippers and vegetarians as well...

Although I doubt you'll find too many vegetarians at strip clubs playing role-playing games, you're certainly free to try...
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Old 12-15-2009, 03:31 AM
rubyfish rubyfish is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 53

I'm liking okcupid, but I just recently made a profile. There seems to be no shortage of poly and poly-friendly people on it. And I find that rejection hurts less online. If they ignore my message, well maybe they aren't interested in meeting anyone. Or at least I can delude myself of that and move on. I'm not that self-assure in real life.
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Old 12-15-2009, 04:45 PM
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rosevett rosevett is offline
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Location: Finger Lakes Region of NY
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if you're looking to socialize and don't have a 'pick-up' agenda OKC is a really great place to hang out on the Alternative Lifestyle forums with the other polyminded folks, engage in some conversation and check out who might be local to you.

Also as nikkiana said if you can't find a local discussion or meetup group locally start one up - we have two in our area and we live in the middle of no man's land - mind you most folks have to drive about an hour or more for the socials but it's wonderful sitting around a table with another 15-20 people talking about anything from shoelaces to what your partners other partners kid did yesterday.

Plus if I'm not mistaken this forum has a place you put things out there on a location for ideas on meet-ups/socials and go from there - always nice when someone takes the lead.

Good luck - I know community, in person has been a blessing for us.
Do you live in New York State - www.thebirdcage.org - a place to chat local events and meetups for like minded folks!
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Old 12-15-2009, 09:05 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Location: Kansas City Metro
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Originally Posted by Sweetheart View Post
According to some threads on this site, you can apparently find concentrations of poly people among gamers, strippers and vegetarians as well...
Hmmm...the poly friends we have include (with some overlap) Pagans, Burners, gamers, tech geeks, and artists. Of course, I think that stands to reason as we're Burners and Pagan (and I'm a gamer and musician/artist, and bit of a tech geek).

I think you can find poly folk in most any group, though some are more likely to have poly members than others.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 12-17-2009, 03:37 PM
glowinthedarkstars glowinthedarkstars is offline
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Black box republic is a new social networking/dating site created by burners for burners and its compleatly sex positive. im not a member yet because you have to pay for membership but my bf is. i think its really new so it might not be top notch just yet but it seems pretty promising!
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Old 01-31-2010, 04:31 PM
Tseras Tseras is offline
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Default We've decided to go Poly - what next?

Let me tell you about myself first: I've always known that I'm poly, though due to various life circumstances I didn't start properly dating until after I left my teens. I'm 21 now, and am currently dating my first "real" girlfriend. We've been together for about 3 months now, and have bonded really well in that time. (it was a rather fast paced relationship and by now it feels as if we've known each other for years)

When we first started dating I thought that she wouldn't be too keen on being poly, so I thought I'd be able to sublime that part of myself and just be satisfied with what I've got. However as we got to know each other I found out that she was bisexual and was rather interested in the idea of bringing another girl into our relationship (Or a guy - I'm bi too).

While this is pretty much exactly what I wanted, the problem I have right now is that I'm simply not certain of how to go on about it from here onwards. As I've said my experience with dating is limited as it is, and I am rather confounded as to how I would go about finding another partner who would be interested in joining us.

I would like to hear your thoughts and comments on this!
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:00 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Location: Upstate New York, USA
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tseras, first off - welcome to the forum! Hope you find some good conversations and maybe friends here.

You asked how to meet other people that may be compatible with your lovestyle. Well, in the same way that monogamous dating can go, there are many different ways, and finding one that suits you and your partner is key.

Some like the online dating world - http://www.OKCUpid.com/ is a free dating site that, while it isn't poly-only, it is very poly-friendly, in that it allows you to mark yourself as in a relationship and wanting a relationship (which most other dating sites don't). Others like http://www.polymatchmaker.com/ but I have no experience with that site so can't say much about it.

If the online search isn't your bag, then I would recommend looking for other poly folk that live close to you. You haven't said where you live, but there are many social networking groups around - that's a great way to get to know other people who self-identify as polyamorous in a social setting - they usually aren't "dating pools" but it significantly increases your chances of finding people that at least are willing to entertain non-monogamous relationships. I have had very good experiences with this and have made many local friends, which surprised me, because the area I live in is quite conservative.

If you are interested in local resources and are willing to give us an idea of where you live, we may be able to find something for you. http://www.polyamory.org/SF/groups.html isn't a bad start, but it is a little out-dated.

I wish you luck on your search.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:57 PM
travislang travislang is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: lonoke arkansas
Posts: 19

my wife and i have an open marriage but have decided to go farther with it, and open up to having more then just one lover as well, but we are new to this and having problems trying to find a place online or in person to meet like minded people. we live in arkansas near little rock

where can a person go to find like minded people or that support poly. i have met alot online but when i say im married they stop talking.

i am new to the poly lifestyle, and i have been looking for g/f and i have found 3 now, we started talking, then they found out i was married by me telling them i was they stopped talking to me. so my question is this......what is the secret to getting g/f if there even is one. how do find and keep themfrom leaveing after i tell them im married.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 05-03-2010 at 12:54 PM. Reason: merge posts
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