Insecurity

Hermes

New member
Hey, guys.

I don't want to get too specific about this - I want it to be an open question. We all deal with things differently, and this is a common one, so I want to know:

What's your best way of dealing with insecurity?

Of any kind and in any situation.
 
When I get insecure I withdraw into myself & inspect what the problem is from all sides.

I get to the two or three possible issues, it's always more than one root cause with me, and take them to Breathes. We talk it through. I'm more emotional, he's more logical so his input is REALLY helpful. With his logical viewpoint I'm more able to get to what the problem really is and find workable solutions.

I blog on my LiveJournal. Writing really helps me . I just let the words flow to my fingers & onto the screen. I don't think about them too much.

I'll go to work with the problem on my mind. My job doesn't involve a lot of interaction with others so I'm able to think on things and come up with possible solutions which I then take to Breathes.
 
I take time to myself and just relax and think about whats all going on around me and usually the root of my insecurity arises from that. And then i deal with it the best way possible.
 
I try to focus on the things I have 100% confidence in. I never feel 100% insecure, however there are parts of me that can become attacked. Lets call them personal weaknesses. Those things I know bug me and I assume, during duress, are why people are breaking up with me (one of the few times I feel very insecure)

I do have insecurity that comes in waves, but I have two women who like to stroke my ego so its hard to ever get to hard on myself. I recognize these happen during rough times. Crappy week at work etc. I try to head them off, but I am human so I sometimes fail. Insecurity for me almost always leads to self doubt, which creates its own problems.

I know this is a technique someone here expounded a while ago, I like it, but haven't had to use it. Make a list of all the qualities you love about yourself, and then a list of all the things you like. Keep the 2 lists for when you feel an "insecure" day.
 
I talk about it with everyone who will listen until I feel secure again and have talked it through. Sometimes I just want others to witness my experience and sit back and listen rather than give advice. Sometimes I need some in put and will seek out those that I think would know about my issue. It depends... but I never get far at figuring stuff out if I keep quiet and try and do the work myself.
 
I tend to chastise myself and fight to move past it.

My opinion and understanding of insecurity has always been that you either push past it or become a slave to it. The slave role doesn't suit me so..........

I look back at all the things/situations where I have felt insecure in the past and how I pushed through them. It only serves as a reminder that whatever this current one is - it's only one more like the others. So I just dig in and let past successes power me through this one too.

I suspect, after a while, if you can master this, it just flows naturally with hardly any hesitation.

GS
 
I have several close friends I talk to. even today when my partner and I were having issues about the amount of time he spends with his ex,my mother stepped in and gave me a little sage advice. Sometimes all I really need is a HUG xx
 
Mostly-I write.
I OFTEN will write to GG. He tends to have the perfect words to alleviate my fears.
Insecurity is all about fear-and usually NOT what you are claiming to be insecure about.

If I'm feeling insecure about Maca going out on a date.
I'm not afraid of him dating.
I'm afraid of losing him.
It's that simple.

If I'm feeling insecure about GG hanging out with his friends/family who hate me.
I'm not afraid of GG socializing.
I'm afraid of losing him.

It's that simple.

When I express insecurities to GG-he always knows the right words to remind me that NO I'm not going to lose Maca. No I'm not going to lose GG. No I'm not going to lose my kids love etc etc.

He picks up on my personal truths and personal strengths and reminds me of them which refocuses my mind on the positive.

;)
 
I usually tell myself that I'm great. I have days where I fell a bit less than, but they don't last long. I also spend time on something personal. I walk my dog or work on my models. I also read lots. Reading takes my mind off any bad mojo I may be feeling. I do have good friends. They can cheer me up easily.
 
Along with the above, I really value communication, but sometimes the only person who can make you feel secure is yourself, its trying to figure out where those lines are that can be the bitch. I do a simillar thing to grounded spirit in that I try to parent the little insecure person inside me, I may well tell her to get over it/not to be ruled by it but beating myself up doesn't help so I will also tell her that I love her and that she's ok. Realise that this may make me sound a bit mental, i'm not, its what works for me
 
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Along with the above, I really value communication, but sometimes the only person who can make you feel secure is yourself, its trying to figure out where those lines are that can be the bitch. I do a simillar thing to grounded spirit in that I try to parent the little insecure person inside me, I may well tell her to get over it/not to be ruled by it but i also need soft love so I will tell her that I love her and that she's ok.
 
I write it out and look at how the insecurity relates to a problem in my own life (usually something I'm neglecting that I feel guilty about) ie.- my bf is starting to date a woman I feel is more in shape than I am and low and behold, I haven't worked out in a week and feel sluggish

my bf's gf cleaned the apartment way better than me- I had 7 months to clean the apt before she got there and never did, AND I have unpaid parking tickets and MY apartment is a mess.

I find it almost always relates back to something I'm not taking care of in my own life
 
Ps. reading Herme's post about insecurity and all the good advise he got in response just made me feel more secure because I know I've found a whole lot of people to ask for help and advise from when I feel that way. Thank you in advance :)
 
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