Endicott
New member
An article by Ms. D Anapol in Psychology Today, noting the downside to poly.
I thought she made some very good points. What do you think?
I thought she made some very good points. What do you think?
Monogamous relationships set themselves against the natural human tendency to wander and explore, and monogamists know it, .
I'm apparently not human because I don't have this tendency nor do I see it as natural for everyone...but I am mono
I guess if you have this tendency it's hard to imagine some one who doesn't
Yeah... maybe it got away from me a little there.
Since we embarked on this journey called polyamory together, I have felt isolated from the rest of the world. I can’t talk to my mono friends and family about our choice or what I’m feeling. I am terrified that people will catch on that my bf has another gf and:
a) feel sorry for me because my man is cheating on me and I don’t know it or
b) feel sorry for me because I’m too stupid/needy/insecure/fill-in-the-blank to leave a man who is obviously cheating on me.
My bf and I actually read the article today and talked about my discomfort with societal issues. He is unconcerned with what society thinks, because it’s no one else’s business how we love. And I can agree with him that it’s no one else’s business. However, we made this choice for him, so I feel like he can more easily say “I don’t care what others think or say”. I have chosen not to have relationships outside of ours. From the outside looking in, it doesn’t appear that I am gaining anything out of agreeing to this type of relationship. I’m not pleased with being forced to live more differently. I believe in discretion. I’m a very private person. So I don't put my business out all over the place. But this decision makes me feel like I’m living in the shadows. And worse yet, if someone gets a glimpse of what’s going on in the shadows, they will pity me because I could do so much better.
I get what I need and want from our relationship, and that’s what matters to me. Our happiness is paramount and this is what we need to both be happy.
A lot of these problems, as she admits, are actually problems with the social machinery of enforced monogamy. ....
Yeah... maybe it got away from me a little there.
Well, when I said I agreed with all points, I meant the substantive ones. And, yes, there do appear to be exceptions to the ... not rule, but general human tendency (especially common among men!).
======== EDIT ============
Okay, now I've read the article. I remain in agreement with Ready2Fly's salient points.