I think mostly what I'm looking for is an outlet - this isn't necessarily something that's appropriate for Facebook or even Fetlife. It's not something I can discuss with my friends (yet) or my family (ever). Anywhere else, I'd be judged on my poly status - I am sure most folks here would agree about that.
I am in very early pregnancy despite being very careful with birth control. My husband and (now)ex-boyfriend had been with me for years, we'd never had an accident prior and we were fluid-bonded - we did not have "relations" with people outside of our triad. The pregnancy is a shock, to say the least, and the timing puts me reliably as carrying my ex-boyfriend's child. According to my OBGYN - it's likely that some antibiotics we were all taking for a MRSA infection we'd been spreading to one another for months (yes, it sucked) nullified my birth control just long enough. (I didn't know that could happen - women everywhere, please take note).
I am in my early 30's - married with two beautiful children, and a (until recently) live-in boyfriend who to all outsiders was our roommate only. We have since broken up because he was quite aghast at my initial choice to terminate the pregnancy. I found his reaction to be selfish considering the impact on his life (older, single, no living family) would be minimal compared to mine. Whatever I decide, I'm pretty sure the last thing I need is somebody who would put their own selfish wants for rainbows and unicorns over my own selfish wants and needs for peace and harmony in my world.
Both my husband and my ex-boyfriend prefer adoption over abortion and parenting has been ruled out completely because 1) my ex-boyfriend's financial situation is quite dire - he can contribute nothing and as he's already in his mid-40's, that's not likely to change much, 2) my husband understandably would rather not support a child that does not come from his body and 3) the backlash from our extremely large families would be... quite severe.
To be clear, if I chose abortion, my husband would be 100% supportive of me and that decision given the circumstances.
I wouldn't mind adoption because there are families (especially same-sex couples) who would love the child as a blessing (not a curse). The problem is, I'd still have to explain a pregnancy (and the adoption) to my friends and family. This baby would be born sometime in April 2013 and there's the holidays between now and then - impossible. I hate lying. I mind not offering information about my lifestyle to others a whole lot less than outright lying. Lying always blows up in my face.
I do care about my family. I was raised in a group home and only recently has my family healed and felt very normal and healthy - especially when I married and his wonderful family took me in and it's so damn important to me that I don't disappoint them. That may be hard to understand given my age and that I've got children of my own - but I didn't have a family growing up and now I do and I don't want to blow it.
Abortion is difficult for me. I've had one before -and I was a wreck afterwards. I've already canceled two appointments, just options counseling... just because I'm so terrified of Planned Parenthood. I'm not even religious and I don't judge others for doing it.. I just have a really hard time with the choice for myself.
So thank you for having a forum where I can express my situation and my fears. It does help me feel a little better even if I know there is no decision that won't have lasting consequences for everybody involved. It is really nice to talk about it, strangers or not.
Thanks for listening,
Belle
I am in very early pregnancy despite being very careful with birth control. My husband and (now)ex-boyfriend had been with me for years, we'd never had an accident prior and we were fluid-bonded - we did not have "relations" with people outside of our triad. The pregnancy is a shock, to say the least, and the timing puts me reliably as carrying my ex-boyfriend's child. According to my OBGYN - it's likely that some antibiotics we were all taking for a MRSA infection we'd been spreading to one another for months (yes, it sucked) nullified my birth control just long enough. (I didn't know that could happen - women everywhere, please take note).
I am in my early 30's - married with two beautiful children, and a (until recently) live-in boyfriend who to all outsiders was our roommate only. We have since broken up because he was quite aghast at my initial choice to terminate the pregnancy. I found his reaction to be selfish considering the impact on his life (older, single, no living family) would be minimal compared to mine. Whatever I decide, I'm pretty sure the last thing I need is somebody who would put their own selfish wants for rainbows and unicorns over my own selfish wants and needs for peace and harmony in my world.
Both my husband and my ex-boyfriend prefer adoption over abortion and parenting has been ruled out completely because 1) my ex-boyfriend's financial situation is quite dire - he can contribute nothing and as he's already in his mid-40's, that's not likely to change much, 2) my husband understandably would rather not support a child that does not come from his body and 3) the backlash from our extremely large families would be... quite severe.
To be clear, if I chose abortion, my husband would be 100% supportive of me and that decision given the circumstances.
I wouldn't mind adoption because there are families (especially same-sex couples) who would love the child as a blessing (not a curse). The problem is, I'd still have to explain a pregnancy (and the adoption) to my friends and family. This baby would be born sometime in April 2013 and there's the holidays between now and then - impossible. I hate lying. I mind not offering information about my lifestyle to others a whole lot less than outright lying. Lying always blows up in my face.
I do care about my family. I was raised in a group home and only recently has my family healed and felt very normal and healthy - especially when I married and his wonderful family took me in and it's so damn important to me that I don't disappoint them. That may be hard to understand given my age and that I've got children of my own - but I didn't have a family growing up and now I do and I don't want to blow it.
Abortion is difficult for me. I've had one before -and I was a wreck afterwards. I've already canceled two appointments, just options counseling... just because I'm so terrified of Planned Parenthood. I'm not even religious and I don't judge others for doing it.. I just have a really hard time with the choice for myself.
So thank you for having a forum where I can express my situation and my fears. It does help me feel a little better even if I know there is no decision that won't have lasting consequences for everybody involved. It is really nice to talk about it, strangers or not.
Thanks for listening,
Belle