Sailing Solo

I have been working on my bike ride dream for a while now. Sunday was it! I had brought myself a big enough car, Prof fitted the tow hitch on Friday but we ended up swapping vehicles so he could take mine to the city and not bother swapping the rack over.
No rain on Sunday, so got the kids ready, worked out fitting the kid's bikes on the rack, made a picnic, worked out the route and off we went ( that all took hours). Drove to the trail head, unloaded, geared up and off we went. #2 kid pulled me off my bike in the first 10 seconds, only a little blood and putting the chain back on. Off we go again, maybe 10 minutes later #1 says the bike is to hard to peddle. We get off and have a look, its a flat tire! I have no repair kit. So we turn around and walk back to the car. We maybe covered .2 miles, in total, and the bikes are kids are caked in mud. #1 looked at me said "This is a disaster." It was pretty funny. I would say 4 hours of prep and clean up combined, cause even with taking shoes and jackets off, the mud got all over the van and I needed to clean the racks off too. I won't mention the fact that one of my kids pulled the built-in bike lock out and it dragged home along the road. One side is filed horribly down a few inches !! It looks a mess. I will find a replacement and fix it before Prof sees it. :eek: HAHA, first use and one part is already kid shredded.
I went round to see Prof to swap cars back this morning. I finally asked him what he did in the city on Saturday night, he stayed up there. "Went to see a show," was the response, "What show?" I inquired. He wanted to finish the story of the random stranger getting into my car thinking it was his friend's. :D and fairly obviously ducked the question.
Must be a date. I ended up messaging about why he ducked the question and he said we should set up a time and day to discuss it. I said I don't want to discuss it :) just was curious as to why he avoided the question when he wanted me to ask him about anything. The compromise is; we don't set up dates and times to discuss ( his way ) but neither do we "throw out important information on the fly ( apparently and admittedly my style ).
I knew his dating would pick-up again post-holiday and now my schedule is different. I am not upset about it. Certainly am jealous that his weekend didn't involve lots of cleaning and a failed dream :rolleyes: ( woe is me ) but was pretty much jealous of anyone who got to do something that didn't involve kids.( I do love my children and am very fortunate to have them, but hey, they can be hard work!) I also didn't mention the large autiobiography type project that #1 remembered to tell me about. I was going to teach them a lesson about preparation and not help but there were tears and "But I am the OSP! Our Special Person!!!! I can't be OSP with no project. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE." Much glue, display board, stencils, paint and ordering photo prints online for in-store pickup later...done. Took about 4 hours all up. I couldn't wait to get back to work today :D I am the least arty person you will ever met. But #1 was happy and #2 did their own version of the project too. More photos and paint!

Kip is still in pain from his hip, but was still game to try and schedule and then disappeared mid-schedule attempt. Annoys the crap out me. I have asked him before not to do it, because... it annoys the crap out me.:rolleyes: If you have to leave the conversation then "BRB" or "Later" or "gotta run". I am going to take the mature path and ignore him for a day or 2. My guess is he will phone if I don't reply to him in half a day. Cause he doesn't like being ignored :rolleyes:
I am avoiding my thesis. Can you tell?
 
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Chatted with Prof, and reiterated our communication style preferences, we kind of agreed to compromise, I would give it a little more focus and dedication he would not set it up be to serious and stressy.
He is dating a lot again. Ms Bike on Saturday night, Sunday was 2 dates in the ccity, an OKC date Monday, game date Tuesday, Me Weds, a friend of another partner tonight, me for the weekend. There was another one in there somewhere. Someone else that he works with but is not current right now, I must admit my head starts to spin :eek: Ms White Picket will be around over Xmas. He is going international for New Year and into January, don't know if with anyone, that would be a trigger for me. Ms Friday Bike is around again. I dont know how he keeps up the pace. No way I could be doing stuff at least 10 nights in a row.
But it is fine, Weds night will remain the constant, seems like second weekends are informally planned and that is enough for me.
We talked about jealousy and I said I was envious of his empty nest life style, he said he was jealous of my having 2 parents alive. He was at my house a lot when my parents were here. They are very sociable and entertaining. I said my trigger will be travel. Dinners, games, cinema, not a bother, but fun trips will get me. He said he didn't think he would be ok with a partner swap, seeing me with someone else. that was surprising, though he said he loved the 3 way with Kip.
We said we were both happy with having only one rule and that was for safe sex practices, Apparently Ms Bike asked if he and I were making up rules, she said that wouldn't be fair as she had known him longer. :p funny. Looks like the old partners all feel the same way about rules he had with Ms Text.
A few more things but the exciting news is that tickets are booked for next summer, for the 4 of us to go home. Wow. long term couply planning. I must admit it felt like a big commitment but it should be a whole lot of fun, so deep breaths and press "purchase tickets now".
 
Kip has reverted back to the occasional "hi" then nothing. He said work is very stressful, so I will leave him alone. I do find his cycles of interest then lack of interest to be different to what I prefer. This is nothing new for him, but I am trying to do better with not becoming frustrated because I do prefer regular chat. I do know if something important came up then he would be make himself available.
Prof has himself booked for Europe and then out of state for a total of nearly 2 weeks. He is leaving on the 30th so he can be in Europe for New Year. He is going to spend Xmas Day with me and the kids, so we get to do one holiday together.
We had a super fun last night, lots and lots of sex and dancing around the living room playing music via youtube. I love the recommendations that pop up on the side and lead you off on a musical mystery tour. There was more sex this morning. All really good quality, long lasting and full of laughter and the out of body type rolling orgasms that I love.
During one moment last night I said that I noticed when he dates more that the sex deteriorates. I have no idea what his response was, though he did reply. However, he did hear me so maybe I can just leave it at that for now. We stayed in bed till nearly 10:30 this morning . I can't tell you in what year that last happened for me, but we weren't sleeping :D. It was unusual for neither of us to have to get up and get going. We are off to a game tonight and hopefully lots more sex.
Things are fine and I feel good about dropping the organized relationship check-ins for a while. Prof said last night that I am better at communicating than I think I am and tend to speak plainly and "bluntly", so he doesn't feel that my current thoughts on a subject are much of a mystery. :rolleyes: He gets to know what I want him to know and it is nowhere near as much as he thinks, but I am trying to be more open.
 
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Game was fun, but no sex till the next evening. I gave him my cold and he was under the weather on Sunday. He cancelled some appointments and I helped him in the house while he did some work from home. I stayed over his side of town, met my friend for lunch and went back to his to wait until time to get the kids. He asked me to the bring the monsters back to his for a fire but they like to go straight home after dad visits and I needed to get their homework done and start lunches etc. No homework help from dad yet again.
He came with us last night for the holiday lights show. it is so cheesy and fun. I love it. He had never been though lived less than 10 minutes away, said his wife didn't appreciate tacky. What is not to love about dinosaurs and pirate ship lights? Doesn't get more Christmasy than that! I must admit he has stuck to his promise to fully embrace holiday tacky and enjoy it with me and the kids. I did get some blue and white ( Dr Who colors ) twinkle lights for his mantle and a tacky cushion. He dug out an awful Santa on a scooter ornament. I said his living room now looks acceptably tasteless :)

Chatted a bit with Kip. I joked that I would had start charting his cycles of interest and decreased interest. Its fairly predictable. Question is can I just be fine with it. I have cycles of being fine and then being annoyed.

I worked myself into an absolute fury earlier over Prof and the visit from Ms White Picket last year. I was livid about it. The rules, the disrepect. I know I was redirecting a work frustration in his direction and his news that MS White P was coming out for the holidays and also the post about "Secondary-No thanks".We had also discussed what happened last year with Ms White Picket's visit and why I had been so angry about it. He said he did understand, didn't really get it at the time, but very much did now. I replayed last year over and over in my head and struggled to process through it.
It was kind of by accident that I managed it. I was stuck waiting for a meeting and decided to clear out email and and there were a number from him in one account. Tickets for next summer, science articles and funny articles, some pics, a request for a weekend activity in June. All received in the past week. Things have changed since this time last year, in a major way, and I cannot rehash a different scenario taking that fact into consideration.
Homework calls. again :rolleyes:
 
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eI got a little tipsy last night. My I.D. with new name came through and I took it into work. I was expecting the name change over to crawl along over months but it went bam bam bam. It was worth celebrating.
Prof and I sat with the calendars and went through until September next year. Lots of fun things to look forward to.
He told me when Ms White Pickett is coming out. I asked him why he would re-engage with someone whose expectations are so different. He said " I told her there will be no white pickett fence and no babies, I will support her in her career and meet a few times a year but that is it." I very nearly blurted out, "I call her Ms White Pickett in my blog!" but managed not to. Not sure how many nights she is staying, but he did say she wanted to go to Paris for Christmas and he said no. He told me he couldn't deal with the emotional drama for more than a couple of days at a time. He said he had no intention of telling her that he is going to Europe with me and the monsters for 3 weeks, or camping. I know I would be hurt if roles were reversed. I know I was hurt when the roles were reversed, but has known her a lot longer than me so I am keeping my mouth shut.
He also scheduled me in on Valentine's Day, the season's games that fall on Weds or kid free weekends, and most touching was to re-up the recurring Weds nights for the next year on his phone.
We are sliding into the assumption that we will spend most of my kid free weekends together. We are lucky to live close enough that I can leave and go back later, it doesn't have to be all weekend, so I get to see my friends and enjoy some alone time too.
The sex has been consistently good.
I am seeing Kip on Monday and I am looking forward to it. We chatted on the phone a couple of times over the past few days and it has been a nice re-connection.
 
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I had a quicly set up meeting with Kip yesterday. When we stopped for a break, he started on the whole. I love your intelligence, I love you passion", etc and I asked him, "why don't you love me? all of me, why do you add specific parts of what you love and why don't we love each other after being together for over 2 years?"
A very interesting conversation ensued, bear in my mind i have no idea how much of it is real and what is baloney, but he said very much the same as Joe.To fall in love with me and declare it is likely to get a man kicked to the curb. That I see it as weakness and won't tolerate it.

He loves me but is not in love with me. He has loved me for a long time but doesn't want me to get any false hopes of him leaving his wife ( he did say that was his experience with other women and not with me but was projecting ). He disappears from communication because he thinks about me too much and doesn't want the addicted and craving feeling to take over (NRE, I interpret that to be ). He does want to explore the love side of things, to increase intimacy. He finds my new schedule hard and we dont have so much time together and he is struggling with it right now.

The last part is true, he wanted Friday and Monday, offered to pay for daycare to make it work.

As to the rest of it, i don't know, there was another thing that he came out with which was a big reveal and I will wait and see if that proves to be true or not.

I was thinking about with it Prof last night too, why are we together nearly 2 years and don't say we love each other. I couldn't find the right moment to ask and don't want to get too emotional with Ms White Pickett due. On the plus side he said he lets me stick around because I don't annoy him too much. :D He has been talking a lot more about his relationship with his kids which is not great, and texted the other day that he feel like he is getting a second shot with my 2. He has ordered a street hockey set, half for my kids and half for the kids in his street, 6 sticks, nets and pucks. I know he has a few other bits and pieces too. He is choosing to spend Xmas day with me and the kids as opposed to his family or his kids
.He said he prefers to be where he feels wanted and not the bad guy for divorcing his ex. It has been coming out that recently that his brother and sister think he should have worked harder on the marriage. His ex is a functioning alcoholic too.I think it is hard for anyone who has not dealt with it to be aware of how they suck the life out you, slowly, blame you for their failures, you work your ass off to please them but it is never enough. His wife didn't work but they had a nanny and housekeeper.
I think it is why he similar in to me in that we have a low tolerance for those not prepared to try to help themselves. We both enjoy doing things for each other because we know it is the icing on the cake not hand-feeding someone their bread and butter. At the end of the day we function entirely independently but support and care for each other as much as we feel able.
I think things are good.
 
The bike ride dream continues, I ended up taking the bike to the repair shop as I couldn't get the tire off. Took him about 15 minutes and it needed a new inner tube so would have involved a trip there anywhere. Off we go! Burst tire after about 20 minutes riding round the park. :rolleyes: Back to the bike shop with it.

I had a stressy cup of tea at Prof's yesterday. He asked me to drop off some things he had left at mine at an arranged time. I turned up, he turned up and a woman in a car turned up. He walked up to my car and said "It's Paula ( not real name ) and you are both here at the same time." Well, yes, exactly the time you told me to be here. He didn't introduce us so I had no idea who she was. I made polite chit chat while he got the tea ready and he put down a cup of black tea no sugar in front off me. He has been making me tea for years and now can't remember how I take it? I didn't know if was supposed to know the way round his kitchen or not. I did get up and fix it, it was very uncomfortable. I did not know what it was ok to say and what wasn't. Then a name was mentioned and I thought I had heard it before, so now I am thinking is this an ocassional partner or a person who is part of his confidential work? I had to leave as I only had 20 minutes and texted him later to inquire. He said she is the wife of a client and not a partner. Moral of the story, introduce people. I will talk to him later about it cause he wont then I will. Very weird vibe could have been prevented by following an ancient social nicety, a brief introduction And most importantly what was up with the tea?;)
I saw Kip again yesterday, he got me some gift cards for Xmas, I made him some treats. Fun sex, no follow up chat on last weeks revelations and I kicked him out early cause I had things to do. I have been sleeping 11 hours a night on new meds and was too full of energy to cuddle and relax. He laughed and said it worked for him to go get some things done too.
 
The bike repair man is cute. I have a crush. No doubt we will be back there soon. He smiled at me, I think that means he is madly in love and said " We are happy to be your bike repair shop," pretty much the same as "You are hot, let's fuck sometime." Possibly a loose interpretation but it works for me.
I took the monsters out to Prof's ranch/farm/piece of land that hasn't been touched in years. Do not imagine anything that looks vaguely like humans have made any effort to clear it or make land improvement. It is perfect for frogs and other wildlife. The kids spent a lot of time in the puddles and mud. We collected wood for camping/the wood fire and Prof says he is going to buy me a chainsaw to start chopping up the fallen trees. Yes, sure, I am going to cut up those monsters. Prof started the back hoe and they got to raise a stabilizer leg each, all rather exciting.
He sent me a text the other day saying he felt he was getting a second chance at parenting and I am happy to let him show the kids how to use power tools, start fires and other practical skills as their own father is not much use in that department. I am sad that my own father is not closer to show them things. I am quite handy with tools myself but there is something inherently more interesting about someone who is not your mother showing you how to do stuff. I'll have to get him to dig out the safety glasses he ordered for them a while back.

Prof will be round tonight to put the hockey net together and help me wrap. There will be some drinks, food treats and I plan to wrap myself in ribbon.:p
 
The bike repair man is cute. I have a crush. No doubt we will be back there soon. He smiled at me, I think that means he is madly in love and said " We are happy to be your bike repair shop," pretty much the same as "You are hot, let's fuck sometime." Possibly a loose interpretation but it works for me.

Yeah, I think that is what "we are happy to be your bike repair shop" means, definitely!

Oh, I see it now - stop in one night just before closing time, and say, "Hi, here I am again - can you help make my bell ring?" Wink, wink. He'll rush to shut the lights off and have you bent over the front counter. Yeah, baby, happy holidays to you!
 
Nice one NYC. I plan to ask him for some "Slime for my inner tube,"wink wink or he can ring my bell.
The 25th was spent mostly with my head down the toilet, sleeping on the sofa or in bed. Talk about sick. My BF cancelled her day to due to something similar, something going round.
Prof saved the day, putting together lego, taking the kids out for street hockey, watching Godzilla movies and did the hand-made pizzas for dinner. It would have been yoghurt, crackers and bananas otherwise. I am very grateful for the effort he put in. He could have cleared off home at any point but stayed till we were all in bed for the evening.
He put together my charm bracelet, got the keys cut to re-key the doors, got a USB/wall socket, a signed cook book, and taped up my hockey stick in pink and black, it looks great and of course the awesome bike rack and hitch. My main gift to him is a hotel night in the city for a play-off game and lots of bits and pieces that mostly he asked for.
He is spending the weekend with Ms White Pickett, I got a reply to an email I sent but am leaving him alone, then he is leaving for 2 weeks. I wont see him again before he goes.
The couple next door are divorcing and Prof is very keen to buy the house. He said he would live in it for a little while he continues to look for what he wants. Could be very weird, but early days yet.
I haven't heard from Kip for a couple of days. no surprise there. He just loves me too madly to reply, or he is playing tennis.
The kids and I are going to see Joe, I have 4 tickets for an attraction in his town and he said he would like to come too. Certainly helps having an extra pairs of eyes to watch the kids in a place like that.
I have the kids for New Year and we will be spending the early evening with Roomie and his 2. We met up yesterday, for the first time in ages, and we had a great time. Our kid weekends now match up so will be easy to do stuff together.
 
Prof is coming round tonight. I got a text at lunch time asking to pop round for the evening. I thought I wasn't going to see him till he got back. Interesting. He certainly could have spent his evening doing something else and I would have had no idea. I think he likes me.
 
He had a nice weekend with Ms WP. He told her I rearranged my kid schedule so they could spend the weekend together. Not impressed. I did it so I could hang with Roomie and his kids, nothing to do with their plans. She is appreciative but I didn't do anything. I think it is wrong to mislead her like that.
His new plan for the house next door was to move Roomie into it. I sent him a text later asking him not. Good fences make good neighbours. Roomie is a very good friend but I would not want to be his neigbour, I know him too well.
I think Prof forgets I am an introvert at heart. I want to go home and not deal with people if I don't want to. I decided that I was not too keen on having Prof move in for the same reasons. I am wishing that the neighbours reconcile and not sell at all, or the asking price will not work. Prof has pretty set ideas on real estate and won't buy for anything less than sound financial reasons.
I just don't want people I know living so close. A couple of miles is minimum.
I am totally having cold feet about Prof today. The trip is so far away. What if I want to break it off before then? Like now? Dammit. He is being so sweet with all these plans to do things together. I was enjoying the entanglements up to a point. Adding in the house next door is a bit much for now. Trying to take deep breaths and redirect thoughts to the many positives.
Kip messaged. :rolleyes:
I am going to have sex with Joe tomorrow. Cause I want to. And I am not going to conference call first with Prof and Kip. None of their business.
 
I read a thread on cheating ( a more current one) . Is this cheating? I don't think so based on the grounds that they do what they like. There are no rules about declaring sex dates. I would tell them if was a more serious dating type arrangement, but this is pretty much a one off or at most highly irregular. Joe is about to move into exclusive mono dating with a new person.
I don't think I need to tell them. But now I am wondering :rolleyes:
I would tell them if they asked.
 
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No need to tell anyone anything, even if they ask, because nothing happened. New meds, condoms, blah blah blah, there was kissing and messing around but no PIV. He was interested this morning but I wasn't, I needed to get going. It is slightly over an hour drive with no traffic, so a very early departure was necessary.
I don't think there will be the opportunity again anytime soon. That is fine with me, one man with difficulties in more than enough, though Prof has been consistently able for quite a while now.

New Year's Resolutions:
1) Packed lunches, yet again. The kids get a great lunch, it should be as easy to make 3. It is not. I really don't like it.
2) The love thing. Saying it and being comfortable saying it. I like the Robert A Heinlein definition that someone has in their signature line.
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." I don't quite agree with the word "essential" but I can go with the rest.
 
I went wild and added "love you :X " to Prof's Happy New year message, no capitals, no "I." The shallowest dipping of toes in that particular water I could get away with in email. I got "Wish you were here," in return.
I am ready to turn tail and run from my resolution. I was hoping for some great declaration of devotion and adoration in return. So much stress over whether or not to do it. HAHA. But I did it, so points for me and might leave the next one till the nearer the end of the year.
He is nice having a nice time in Euroland. The lady owner of the apartment he is staying has turned up. they work together, no idea if she is a partner or not. She has been taking him around the sights today. It is so much better to have a local take you places. You get to see a better glimpse of life and how it really works in that part of the world.
There have a number of emails going back and forth. Do I want him to buy Euros for the summer? Plans for the weekend when he get's back.
I think he thinks I have issues with him traveling. Apart from being insanely jealous, no, I don't. I would never wish for someone not to take a vacation trip. At this point I am only missing Antarctic and South America of my continent travel list. The odds of me getting to live on Antarctica are small so a visit will have to do.
No word from Kip. is it worth the annoyance for the sex? Leaning towards no, but then I remember how good the sex is and how hairy the men are on OKC. ( I was browsing today ).
Joe was asking about an opportunity to make up for Tuesday. No, to that. I am not driving that far for mediocre sex, nope, nope.
I have 2 nights by myself. Seeing a friend on Sunday but mostly planning to catch up on class work, the gym and being alone.

We had our first non-disaster bike ride. Managed an hour before we were so cold we all agreed to go back, it was great to finally get a good one under the belt.
 
What a busy week and I have been keeping off the tech as much as possible.
Driving home on Weds, no kids and no Prof, in stop and crawl traffic, I get a straight line view into the bike shop and there he is. Should I, shouldn't I? I get past the turn and the traffic on the other side of the road is equally awful. At least going that slowly I had the time time think, "what the hell" and creep to the next set of lights to turn around. Took me over 20 minutes to get back and by that time he had gone! But I did speak to the bike dude about some things and will take #2 kid's bike in tomorrow for some new brake levers. Maybe I will see him tomorrow, that is my hope anyway :D
I did play with OKC at the weekend and decided not to put my profile back up yet. Most of my kid free weekends between now and mid-April have something happening.
Prof is due back late Sunday, so I wont see him until maybe a Monday morning booty call or later in the week but I get the feeling he will make the effort for Monday, if nothing else I have his mail. He said yesterday that he misses me too, in response to me saying that Wednesday night was not much fun.
No plans to see Kip, it has been 3 weeks, I cant see him next week either. 30 days to break a habit.
I have been on a bit of a personal spring clean this week. Cut way back on chatting with Joe, I told him I was going to. Cut down tech use when kids are home.
Decided to cut out processed food for one week and cut waaaaaaaaaaay down on sugar too. W.H.O. says 25g of sugar per day. I managed it yesterday but will be tough to maintain as it took eliminating fruit, but it has been an interesting examination of my food for the past week. Pretty much started with the "must do better with lunches" resolution. I got caught up with the idea of improving my eating and have pursued it with focus which is not an unusual behavior pattern for me. Been doing the HIIT type program at work as the holiday period was quiet but my schedule is full for next week again :( will do the gym and a bike ride this weekend. Cooked or ate home made left overs every night this week and took a good lunch and snacks to work. I dropped 3 lbs so far. Should be down to fighting weight for the next "Geekend" which will take place over Feb 13-17th. Even if we dont do the geekend that weekend apparently will be spent collared and otherwise mostly naked. :D
Completed 1 of 4 interviews for my project and have another lined up for next week.
Many positives.
 
Prof is back. I saw him for about an hour yesterday morning. He has bronchitis and didn't feel great, but still managed to put a smile on my face ;)
Kind of feels strange and weird when I don't see a lover for a while. I would not be very good at an LDR, I know that for sure.
He got the kids a t-shirt each and classic children's book from that country and a box of handmade chocolates for me, he said he picked all the ones he thought I'd like and then argued with airport security because it wasn't a sealed box. I was touched, it is always the effort that I find touching.
I didn't tell him I was on a clean eating kick cause the plan was only for a week, but I am rolling into week 2 because I lost about 3.5 lbs.
I went to get #2's bike yesterday and HE WAS THERE. We only talked bike stuff but I will try a little flirting this afternoon. #2 still couldn't reach the brakes so he will put new levers on, the current ones cant be tightened due stripped plastic, Prof had told me that already. I have to go back today, slightly tighter skirt and slightly higher heels. If nothing else comes of it I looked a little more professional at work yesterday and today and I am having fun with it.
 
Wednesday night is back! We are also meeting Friday and Saturday nights, he asked for Sunday night too, then texted that is a lot, I replied, "yes, but I am doing my own thing in the day," so is not 24 hours x 3 days straight, he then asked me to spend Saturday at the property with him :rolleyes: but I have things that need doing and arrangements with friend, so no to that. We talked and talked last night about his fun trip, lots of work things for me. We changed the geekend plans, from a flight plus hotel to camper van trip. As it is Valentine's I want to do corny romantic in a tiny camper van, should be a laugh. My guess is it will be terribly cold, but we can cancel quite cheaply.

I was in a meeting yesterday where we discussed "bright spots," focusing on what works well over what is not. It doesn't mean ignoring glaring problems but it does mean taking the successes and using those to move forward. One example given is how people focus on the negatives in their relationships. I make a conscious effort on a regular basis to look at the good and am really trying to be more expressive to Prof about how and why I appreciate him. I liked the reminder this is also a major part of my parenting, praising the positive more than picking on the negative and so should be doing in my relationship too. I was going to bring it up last night but we mostly did catch up talking, some lovely squirty sex and an episode of Walking Dead.

I am chatting to Kip. Not asking to meet.

Haven't been back for the bike yet. I would go now, but I look like someone who stayed up late having fun.:D
 
Bike guy is in a relationship with small child, so no to that. But I tried!

I joined a singles meet-up tennis group. The only tennis group in the area is for singles. I haven't played in ages and would like to play semi-regularly, my 2 friends who played have shown no interest in months so I have given up asking. I told Prof I had joined and he said he would play with me, but didn't have any athletic shoes. I said I would add him to my list of people who say they want to play but actually don't for whatever reason. :rolleyes: No actual meet-up is scheduled yet. I hope the group does play occasionally.


Things are going so well with Prof. He got a little buzzed off a rushed pint of beer and was full of all sorts of chat last. "Can we do this? Let's plan that. I want to spend more time with you." He wants to do another geekend, in addition to the 3 trips we have planed, and the expected multitude of random over- night camping trips we hope to do and a few big event nights. I said we already have a lot planned. He was disappointed and asked if I thought it was too much time together, I told him I can't afford more than that, is all about cost not willingness. He said he would pay for the trips if I would come and make them silly and sexy. He did back out of it a little later on that night, said he needed to sort out his tax bill first, apparently he is expecting it to have 5 0s.:eek: and I told him again not to suggest things because I take him seriously.

He wants me to head over to his in the morning for a booty call and wash the cars. It is strange to see him wanting to spend so much time with me. I suppose it has been this way for a while. I keep thinking it will settle into some sort of routine where we see each other a lot less on the weeks I have the kids. It is NRE crazy. We do something fun and then have lots and lots of kinky fun sex. 4 plus hours last night, similar on Friday night, morning sex too. We watch tv holding hands, 3 hours at a game holding hands, 2 hours at a movie holding hands. Uncharacteristic for me. I am home alone tonight and will use the time to recharge my introvert batteries. We were apart for most of the day yesterday, but still, it is a lot for me.

I am still a little scared by the long range couple type planning, I did agree to a birthday geekend in October, and he has thoughts for Xmas things to do next year. He has plans for the concert in September, hotel, day off the work the next day. I think to myself, "but we may not be together in September, stop making plans." But I keep my lip buttoned, and remind myself of how fortunate I am to be in this relationship and how much more fun fun fun life is when Prof is around. I told him last night that I have never had the experience of someone saying mostly "yes" to participating in the stuff I decide I want to experience.

We discussed the other night the differences in how we spend our money. I spend my money on experiences, not things, sure I have stuff, but I do not have cupboards full of stuff. My neighbours can't park in their 2 car garage because of the all the stuff they have in it. Neither can Prof, single man in 3 bedroom house and can't park in his garage? I can get 2 cars in my garage. I have empty drawers and free closet space. Prof said that in the past year he is making the shift from buying stuff to wanting the experiences too. A convert! But in his slightly OCD way, he wants to catch-up on years of buying and start experiencing instead all in a big rush. Very nice, but one of us has kids and a job that they have to turn up to regularly.

Tomorrow marks 30 days since I have seen Kip. He has not asked to meet with me in all that time. "We should get together, " and " I miss you." but no suggestion of a day and time. I promised myself 30 days to break the Kip habit and I think I am ok with not seeing him again, he seems very ok with not seeing me. I do find it sad that he has made no effort, actions speak so much louder than words. This is not news, right?

I met with a friend who I haven't seen in about 6 months though we are in contact by phone and text. She said it was amazing how many big changes I pulled off in that time, plus is coming around to a year since I quit smoking. I need to apply that level of determination to Kip and stop making excuses for his on-again off-again behavior. 30 days.
 
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Last entry didn't post so the short version: I told Kip I was a little unwell, positional vertigo, nothing contagious but sex was out and would like to simply meet for lunch. Well, poor man suddenly had a very busy day at work, the afternoon planned together disappeared in 10 seconds. What a coincidence! I knew he would cancel. I texted Prof and he met me.
I also didn't rearrange my child-free Monday so that I could see him. Cleaning out my car was the priority. Of course every time I say I am done with him I start seeing him again, but I have had all sorts of opportunities to see him recently and haven't bothered making one happen. He says he can't do next week so that will make 7 weeks. I don't message him with news, I don't ask for advice. I am bored with sexting about things that will never happen.
No tennis Meet-Ups yet. I do hope they actually meet. I wouldn't mind meeting some new men IRL, can't bring myself to return to OKC. I told Prof I would steal his happy hour appetizer date idea, no more coffee dates, and he said he would take me on happy hour date next week. He seems quite into wanting to join in whatever I have going on. The gym is doing a yoga class for the "wildly inflexible" he is going to join me. I am by no means the most flexible person in the world but the class time works. I pretty much do whatever class starts at around 9:30 or 10. Apparently his dick likes that I do yoga so when I heard about this one-off class I though he might want to join me. I had to leave yoga yesterday due to the vertigo/migraine. It is hard to balance when your focus spot is swaying like a ship in high seas.
Life is good and fine. Prof wants to book some cheap flights to nearby cities, an airline is having a seat sale. The kids cycled and I jogged/walked to the beach yesterday, Roomie couldn't get parked so we didn't meet, maybe will try again today. I lost 8 lbs so far. Cooking at the weekend so I can take lunches to work. Reading a lot more now that I have quit wasting time browsing on the web, focused searches only. Making progress on my thesis, I want to have it done by June if not before.
Called the sheriff on "stepmom" as she 1) signed the kids out of after-school care though she is not on the authorized list and then 2) transported them on the freeway with no car seats. Livid?? Beyond livid. I had already texted her about overstepping the boundaries. Will speak to daycare about the authorized person list tomorrow. Get's me all worked up again just thinking about it. :mad::mad: I will be filing for a restraining order with the court the next time she does anything. No car seats. Argh.
 
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