the story of a secondary

Aww, thanks for all the support everybody. ;)

Wow, you're insane! :eek: Not that I never go a week without, but if I have something hot to look forward to, which I spend a lot of time thinking about, it is more difficult.

I'm certainly not saying it'll be easy, but I'm gonna try!

Is it unusual, as a woman, to have markedly stronger and easier orgasms when I haven't cum in the last few days? That has always been the case for me, my orgasmic ability is like a battery that needs to recharge.
 
Is it unusual, as a woman, to have markedly stronger and easier orgasms when I haven't cum in the last few days? That has always been the case for me, my orgasmic ability is like a battery that needs to recharge.

I don't know. For me, it fluctuates unpredictably. Sometimes going a while without cumming makes it harder for me to get there the next time because I'm so sensitive and can only go to the edge. But then sometimes, it's completely different and having some time in between does increase intensity.

This topic reminds me of a tip I read online somewhere about preparing for a date. It stated that if a woman wants a guy to be really attracted and aroused, she should get herself off and have an orgasm just before her date. Apparently, that stimulates something in a guy's brain and makes us hard to resist - hahaha!
 
This topic reminds me of a tip I read online somewhere about preparing for a date. It stated that if a woman wants a guy to be really attracted and aroused, she should get herself off and have an orgasm just before her date. Apparently, that stimulates something in a guy's brain and makes us hard to resist - hahaha!

*Makes note to try this next time around*

If guys rub one out before a date, does this hold true for women?

One wonders...
 
If guys rub one out before a date, does this hold true for women?

One wonders...
Hmm, my guess would be no, it does not. Not sure why I think that.

*giggles* Opalescent, the phrase "rub one out" cracks me up. I'd never heard it before I saw the movie Up in the Air with my husband. There's that scene where George Clooney's co-star is in bed with him and she says he could rub one out when they're apart or something (don't remember exact line). I leaned over to my hubs: "What did she say? He should what? What does that mean?" and he was just shushing me.

I'm never up on lingo. He used to have to translate all the street talk for me whenever we watched NYPD Blue. I always wondered, he never talks that way with me, how does he know all the slang? heh-heh
 
This topic reminds me of a tip I read online somewhere about preparing for a date. It stated that if a woman wants a guy to be really attracted and aroused, she should get herself off and have an orgasm just before her date. Apparently, that stimulates something in a guy's brain and makes us hard to resist - hahaha!

That is interesting because Runic Wolf speculated that the reason why the guy I was working with on Friday hit on me was because Wendigo and I had just had sex earlier that morning.
 
Luckily, I think explicitly making a date for sex means that I don't have to worry about luring them in with pheromones or subliminal sex cues (flushed face? relaxed posture?) or whatever it is that would make this an effective technique for seduction. :D
 
This topic reminds me of a tip I read online somewhere about preparing for a date. It stated that if a woman wants a guy to be really attracted and aroused, she should get herself off and have an orgasm just before her date. Apparently, that stimulates something in a guy's brain and makes us hard to resist - hahaha!
That is interesting because Runic Wolf speculated that the reason why the guy I was working with on Friday hit on me was because Wendigo and I had just had sex earlier that morning.
I think this sort of thing is discussed in Sex at Dawn, too.

Luckily, I think explicitly making a date for sex means that I don't have to worry about luring them in with pheromones or subliminal sex cues (flushed face? relaxed posture?) or whatever it is that would make this an effective technique for seduction. :D
True! It's just that the talk of abstaining from having an orgasm until your date reminded me of what I'd read, not that I think you need it, LOL.
 
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I just saw The Avengers movie for the second time last night. So good!! Then I happened to stumble upon the most adorable possible fanart of Bruce Banner lying sleepless and worried-looking in bed between Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, both of whom are asleep and contented-looking.

If you haven't seen the movie and you plan to, spoiler alert ahoy!! You might not wanna check this out. For the rest of you, if you're curious, I posted the pic along with a little essay about why I think they would totally canonically end up in a threesome on my tumblr:

http://plum

Splitting up the url due to silly paranoia about internet searches and not wanting this blog to link to any of my other online presences.

bat.tumblr.com/post/23816261883/

Let's split it one more time, just cuz.

spoiler-warning-for-the-new-avengers-movie-so

Aside from thinking it's adorable and makes a lot of sense, I really feel for Bruce in this pic. I always used to have an annoying time trying to fall asleep between Gia and Eric. The middle of the bed is awesome in terms of feeling warm and safe, but it sucks if you're used to doing a lot of twisting and turning as you settle down to sleep. You can move around a little, but unless you want to be constantly jostling *both* of your bed partners, you end up trying to stay more still than normal. I used to think that if I slept with them more I would get more comfortable and not worry about disturbing them, but as it was there were several nights on which I ended up doing just what Bruce is doing in that pic after the two of them had fallen asleep. I really hope they get a king sized bed at some point. :p
 
Aside from thinking it's adorable and makes a lot of sense, I really feel for Bruce in this pic. I always used to have an annoying time trying to fall asleep between Gia and Eric. The middle of the bed is awesome in terms of feeling warm and safe, but it sucks if you're used to doing a lot of twisting and turning as you settle down to sleep. You can move around a little, but unless you want to be constantly jostling *both* of your bed partners, you end up trying to stay more still than normal. I used to think that if I slept with them more I would get more comfortable and not worry about disturbing them, but as it was there were several nights on which I ended up doing just what Bruce is doing in that pic after the two of them had fallen asleep. I really hope they get a king sized bed at some point. :p

Are either of them cuddlers when they sleep?? If so, a king sized bed won't do a lick of good! lol I've slept 3 in a California King a few times as a teenager and I was always in the middle (silly boys thinking they can't sleep next to each other - homophobia ran rampant in my high school). One side was fine, because the guy slept off on his own but the other side! I couldn't escape him! He was a cuddler so every time I could maneuver into a comfy position, he'd manage to roll over to be closer and ruin it.

I also don't like to cuddle when sleeping unless I'm cold, so that could be the main problem. :D

But I digress... I love the idea of the Avengers threesome! I plan to see the movie again myself this weekend (hopefully!).
 
Interesting tumblr post re: Avengers. Haven't seen the movie, and am a bit dim... I'm guessing this (the threesome) isn't what happens in the film? It's funny how many movie narratives (or, really, actual scenarios in other people's lives) that seem appropriate for at least considering non-monogamy as a way forward.

Yeah, three in the bed often makes you want a bigger bed. My recent experience with this was being on the end, with Carob pimpin it in the middle and Ella on the other side. I had to turn each time C turned... I kind of assumed it was Ella starting the spoonturn but it easily coulda been Carob come to think of it. I reckon we weren't even in a queen bed, maybe just a double. Me against the wall. Cosy :)
 
Nice to know that I'm not the only one who has problems sleeping more than two to a bed! Neither Gia nor Eric are cuddlers, but Davis, with whom I only ever sleep alone, is, so things work out very well for me in that sense at least. I actually really like cuddling, I just don't like feelling too hemmed in to squirm.

As for the Avengers film (SPOILERS):

No, nothing like that comes up. Tony and Pepper are shown to have a solid budding relationship, and Tony takes very strongly to Bruce as soon as he meets him, but there's no overt implication of sexuality between them, and Bruce and Pepper never even meet in the movie. So yeah, this is pure fantasy for me, the artist, and anyone else imagining an intimate connection between these three characters.

Speaking of fantasy I might, er, be writing a fanfic story in which T and P playfully dom the fuck out of B? Don't judge me. :p :D If I ever finish it, it'll go up on my tumblr. There's also a "threesomes" tag on the tumblr where you can see all the smutty and/or romantic pix I've posted with three people in 'em. God I love threesomes....... five more days!!!!
 
WORTH THE WAIT.

Details to come. :D
 
Nice little graph and thought-provoking comments from Tonberry. Looking forward to your thoughts on the subject, Annabel, "should [you] want to do so in the future"!:)

Nice to see you, Mr. FFR!
 
All week I'd been unreasonably happy, giddy at times -- jogging or sauntering around when I could've just be walking. Listening to the same sexy love songs over and over.

Rather than obsess about Saturday, I worked on my fanfic. Which, in a way, was the same thing since it centers on a threesome encounter. I actually stayed up nearly all night twice that week just writing. Obsessive, but it felt good. I love to write and I rarely do fiction because it usually just doesn't come out feeling right to me. Fanfic about sex is hardly high art, but it *did* feel right. The characters' voices and actions all flowed in ways that I could look back on after and say "Yeah, that really fits." And I turned myself on sooo much while writing it, which seemed like a good sign, since ultimately the point of it is to be hot. I have a few friends reviewing it now, I'll probably have the final draft ready to share in another week or so.

Anyway, to get to Saturday. It was an absolutely beautiful day, more temperate than it had been. I got up late, put the finishing touches on my story and sent it to my volunteer reviewers. Then I made a bok choy stir fry for my friends' wedding -- rather than have it catered they were doing it as a potluck -- and had a couple of screwdrivers (I don't usually drink in the morning, but to be fair it was afternoon by that point). I walked over to the wedding, which was taking place in a garden in my neighborhood. The ceremony was perfect, the bride and groom so movingly in love. I hung out for a couple of hours afterwards talking with people and listening to folk bands.

In the early evening I went home, cleaned up the house, and had a shower. Around 10pm I finally felt satisfied with the state of things, and I dressed up and went to the club. My roommates were already there, they sometimes go. Gia and Eric arrived shortly after I did.

I danced my fucking heart out, poured all the nervous energy and sexual desire I'd been carrying around into it. Gia and I danced together a few times, made out on the dance floor. At one point she called out "Wench!" at me from the sidelines, which is something she'd called me way back when we were camping together the year before last, right before she got pregnant, when we first starting talking about D/s, before things got, er interrupted. I came over immediately and asked what she wanted. "Kisses!" I gave them to her. :) :)

I also had some sexy moments dancing with one of my roommates, Eddie -- the one who Davis had said it was cool if I make out with, yum :D -- and with another male friend who was there (the latter guy and I didn't kiss or anything, but the dancing was charged). I wondered if Gia and/or Eric noticed, and if so if they were turned on or jealous or cared at all. They had their own flirtations with others throughout the night. I felt brief mental twitches of jealousy over these, but was able to quickly quell them by reminding myself how silly and unfair that was. I wonder in retrospect all the more -- was I being obnoxious by flirting with other people? Did they care? Maybe I'll ask Gia when I see her tomorrow.

As the night went on, I began to get concerned about the time. Gia and Eric almost never stay up very late these days, and I was worried that they'd run out of steam. I was beginning to feel worn out myself (as I mentioned I'd been missing some sleep that week). I told them I was ready to go whenever, but they were still having fun and wanted to stay. Around 1:30am I decided to go home and have a bite to eat and some coffee. They told me they'd meet me soon.

Driving home, I was so miffed. A year and a fucking half since we'd last done this, and it wasn't important enough to them to prioritize? I reminded myself that they don't get out to socialize too often. That these once a month club nights are a reminder to them that they can still have fun, make new friends, and express sexuality freely. That they're adults, not just parents. I told myself I was just projecting about being tired. None of these rationalizations kept me from feeling annoyed and anxious. Not the best way to start an intimate encounter! Eating helped.

They showed up at 2:15am. We didn't waste much time before going up to the bedroom. And here's where I'd love to give you a play by play breakdown of events but I kind of feel like I shouldn't, unfortunately -- if nothing else because Eric is a pretty private person and who knows, he might end up reading this someday. I know that seems hypocritical since I described some very explicit things involving him a couple of weeks ago, but, well, somehow this feels different. Maybe because it just happened, whereas those were older recollections?

Suffice to say, when the three of us first got into bed together it was a little awkward, like none of us knew where to start. At one point I actually said, laughing, "How do threesomes happen??" Eric took the lead in a highly sexual way and that sort of jump-started everything and after that it began to feel natural pretty quickly. There were positions. Lots of positions. And some hair pulling. A lot of kissing. And laughing. Orgasms all around. Sorry if that's not too satisfying. :)

One thing that made me especially happy was that Gia and Eric had what looked like some very hot and satisfying sex between the two of them in the midst of it all. I know they'd been having some problems with that, and I was pleased to think this might have gotten them back on track. And personally, in terms of the things that were done to me, that I got to do, that I got to feel... well, I can't say I couldn't possibly have enjoyed it more, cuz I still want them to top/dom the shit out of me and there was only a tiny little bit of that, but on the whole I left very, very satisfied.

I felt such a sense of well-being as I saw them out. I was wrapped up in a silk robe that Harry had given me back when he was moving. I felt like something had fallen back into place. It wasn't some intense emotional experience, no crazy revelations, it was just good and right and totally hot. Just us being how I always think of us being with each other, and how we hadn't been for so long. Intimate, sexy, honest, silly, warm, happy.
 
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So happy for you :) Good to hear that everything went well. I was fearing some kind of over-anticipation and too much pressure being around. But you managed that hurdle for sure ^.^
 
So glad to hear things are going so well for you. :) I've really enjoyed reading your entire blog, start to finish. Your honesty about the realities of being a secondary has been very helpful and inspirational for me.

(figured it was time to leave a comment after all the reading I've done)
 
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