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  #81  
Old 06-14-2015, 02:22 AM
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happytriad happytriad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norwegianpoly View Post
It can be tempting for the new person to say, well you decide things and I will just sort of tag along, but that would be treating new person as a child. We are three people in this relationship and three people who call the shots.
Very true
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  #82  
Old 11-01-2015, 01:51 PM
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happytriad happytriad is offline
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Man, man, life has been a beast lately. I haven't been checking in lately, but I'm hoping to change that.
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Champ: Husband to Doll and boyfriend to Lovie
Lovie: Girlfriend to Champ and Doll
Doll: Wife to Champ and girlfriend to Lovie
Peanut: our kiddo





Our poly family ran shop:

Poly gifts and cards:[URL="http://www.etsy.com/shop/polyandmore[/URL]

Our poly family blog:[URL="http://www.http://happypolylife.blogspot.com[/URL]
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  #83  
Old 11-01-2015, 06:58 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Good to hear from you! Sorry to hear you've had some challenges lately.
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  #84  
Old 01-26-2016, 09:20 PM
Asideofcougar Asideofcougar is offline
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Default Triad Curious

I am currently married and am interested in a triad relationship between my husband and girlfriend. Of course myself and my husband are open to it and she is curious and has concerns about jealously and long term. Do u know where I can find info about triad relationships. I have tried to look online and I haven't found much, there is allot more on poly then triad. Thanks for any help you can offer.
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  #85  
Old 01-27-2016, 01:45 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi Asideofcougar,

There's a ton of threads on the topic of triads on this forum, try a tag search for "triad," you'll find a lot of stuff.

Much of what you'll find will be warnings against becoming a "unicorn hunter." What is a unicorn hunter?

So, somebody called you a Unicorn Hunter?

Read that article, it gives a lot of good information.

Also you can always return to this thread here and ask additional questions (or raise concerns as needed). Good luck, and good love.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #86  
Old 01-29-2016, 06:57 PM
PeaceNlove PeaceNlove is offline
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Default New to Poly and love your advice

So I am pretty new to poly. I have posted about my relationships Here
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78013

I came across your post and well I feel like you are the perfect person to ask advice from!

A couple of weeks ago we decided to try again at moving forward sexually. This time it did NOT go as well as the first time. DH was no offence but a typical guy. He has never ever been in a 3sum and ofcourse this was his dreams come true. He was super into it this time and kind of .. ran with it... I felt like he just couldnt wait to get his hands on her and everything just got very overwhelming for me and I had to stop things as I could not get in to it. So my question is .. Is this feeling normal? Will it pass or is it a sign that poly is not for me? Once I calmed down I was fine. The kissing and flirting and texting .. none of that bothered me. But once they started having actual sex I just felt like I could have left the room and they wouldnt have noticed. Again I realize that I should have expected it. From his point of view I can see how he would get caught up in rush of it all and they both did very good at understanding and agreed in slowing down on moving forward with the all involved sex.
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  #87  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:42 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Maybe the three of you could sit down and have a talk about how each of you would like things to go during a threesome? That way you won't be blindsided by what happens next time.

I don't know if this matters, but polyamory isn't the same thing as having threesomes. So even if the threesomes don't work out for you, that doesn't mean that polyamory is not for you.
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  #88  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:04 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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IMO, it takes skill and practice to please 2 women at once. And I have had threesomes with 2 of different bfs of mine, where he was so excited to have another "strange" woman in the mix, he'd semi ignore me to focus on the one he was unfamiliar with. It hurt me emotionally and left me sexually frustrated.

With one of my bfs, we tried threesomes several times and he did that every time. Finally I requested he and she just go for it one on one, and I'd leave the room, or the house. One time we tried where he and she would get started, get some jollies, and then I'd join in for my turn, with her or him, kind of alternately. It's a learned skill, threesomes. Some people do get good at it, I guess. But it takes a degree of learning how to share, and go back and forth between all 3 partners, so no one feels left out during, or left frustrated when it is over.
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  #89  
Old 01-31-2016, 08:38 PM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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Question

Here's a question that I've actualy gotten a few times, with no easy reply.

At what point should a polyfidelitous group buy a house together?

To me, this seems a necessity, otherwise you're dragging that anchor of "married couple + friends" rather than a group marriage. A friend has none of the benefits of being an owner OR being a tenant, after all, & no real say in usage of the space except what's granted by those whose names are on the paperwork. New digs would quickly fix most of that drastic imbalance.

And even if purchase has to be put off for a few years, certainly everyone could give up their current housing & find something rentable.
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  #90  
Old 01-31-2016, 10:47 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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Polyfidelitous doesn't necessarily equal group marriage. For some, it just means you're in a poly grouping where no one is taking on additional partners outside the group.

Even if you do want to consider it a "group marriage," why does cohabitation necessarily have to be a thing? You mention the "anchor of married couple + friends"... but who's thinking that's an anchor? Who's looking at it that way?

A lot of polyamorous folks aren't "out," so even if they were living in a group situation, they wouldn't necessarily be able to claim all of their partners *as* partners. They still might have to appear to be a married couple plus friends. But aside from that... as long as everyone who's *actually involved* in the situation knows what the situation is, who cares what anyone on the outside thinks?
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