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  #171  
Old 04-12-2017, 01:25 PM
lisa6 lisa6 is offline
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My husband and I are in a triad with our girlfriend of 2 yrs.. we were not looking for a triad or to open the marriage we kinda just al stumbled into together.. we were all friends for 10 yrs prior..

None of us knew what to do or how to go about things.. we did start off with only group texting among the three of us and only group sex no alone time or alone sex with our girlfriend..

After 6 months we started having alone dates with her and after about 10 months alone sex.. And of course we transitioned to private texting and still have group texting..

Most of our dates are group dates and group sex. We all enjoy one another's constant.. but we do make time for alone dates and alone sex vs group..

It took some time to get there and talking.. But we made it..

Just wanted to offer you some hope that things can change..

There were tears and some arguments etc.. but we all loved one another enough to make sure we all were happy and getting our needs met.. it can happen
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  #172  
Old 04-12-2017, 02:02 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tribabe View Post
And the drama continues....
You called it.

This is a case study in "How To Not Do It" and "How To Create and Maintain Drama".

What's your plan here?
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Last edited by Marcus; 04-12-2017 at 02:02 PM. Reason: Edited for clarity
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  #173  
Old 04-12-2017, 02:16 PM
Rockit49 Rockit49 is offline
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Default It's y'all's crossroad!

It's time to let/help her grow through if she's willing! Or say good.. bye! don't look back. For everyone's happyness, growth, path... Whatever makes sense to each
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  #174  
Old 04-12-2017, 03:26 PM
Riafi Riafi is offline
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Soooo... If there are any triads (and why not other poly-folks) I would like to ask for some comments/advices on triads.

Some background story:
For me polyamory is somehow familiar in theory, and I have been dating people who were in open relationships, have had experience of multiple (separate) partnerships going on, etc. though mostly on a casual level, which never really escalated into long-term relationship. Most of the guys I dated separately were also quite mono, and not ready to commit for anything more serious and it suited me perfectly - since I wasn't up for committing myself more into relationship either. Until recently when I tried to deepen some of the casual bonds, but just to figure out that we worked better as friends and not partners. Also I am bi-woman, so girls are not out of the field either.

Well, long story short - recently I met a couple who I both got very attracted to. We are still in the getting to know each other phase, and things are starting to roll very nicely. This whole thing about dating a couple is quite a new for me (and for them as well), so I tried to google for some other people experiences - but most of the texts and advices on triads are directed to couples planning to open up or their new partner as to warn of unicorn hunters, or transitioning from V to triad. But how about when the "unicorn" takes the initiative? Any experiences or stories to that? Cause that's exactly what happened since I was the one bringing up the idea to date together.

Any thoughts on how to approach a couple?
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  #175  
Old 04-13-2017, 12:42 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi Riafi,

From your description, you're already taking the right approach towards approaching this couple. All I would add is to take it slow, and communicate a lot with them along the way. Hopefully they'll be willing to date you as an equal. A triad is always a tricky balancing act. Also you can't guarantee that you'll fall in love with both of them equally; it's up to them to be understanding about that.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #176  
Old 04-15-2017, 04:55 PM
Belladonna Belladonna is offline
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Blunt honesty! Seriously. Communication is so key here and be vulnerable. But this has to be all 3 people. If it's not you will hit road blocks. We do not unicorn hunt but have been in a few triads because of being approached.
We are in 2 triads at the moment. One platonic and one sexual. The platonic one she approached me as a friend, meet my husband and we just all get along really well. The 2nd one she approached my husband and then I came into the picture because she was interested in me.

We swim in very deep poly circles so maybe this is why it's very different, I dunno. We go to a lot of events and know everyone so being friends with everyone helps a lot.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Riafi View Post
Soooo... If there are any triads (and why not other poly-folks) I would like to ask for some comments/advices on triads.

Some background story:
For me polyamory is somehow familiar in theory, and I have been dating people who were in open relationships, have had experience of multiple (separate) partnerships going on, etc. though mostly on a casual level, which never really escalated into long-term relationship. Most of the guys I dated separately were also quite mono, and not ready to commit for anything more serious and it suited me perfectly - since I wasn't up for committing myself more into relationship either. Until recently when I tried to deepen some of the casual bonds, but just to figure out that we worked better as friends and not partners. Also I am bi-woman, so girls are not out of the field either.

Well, long story short - recently I met a couple who I both got very attracted to. We are still in the getting to know each other phase, and things are starting to roll very nicely. This whole thing about dating a couple is quite a new for me (and for them as well), so I tried to google for some other people experiences - but most of the texts and advices on triads are directed to couples planning to open up or their new partner as to warn of unicorn hunters, or transitioning from V to triad. But how about when the "unicorn" takes the initiative? Any experiences or stories to that? Cause that's exactly what happened since I was the one bringing up the idea to date together.

Any thoughts on how to approach a couple?
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  #177  
Old 04-21-2017, 10:52 AM
LanaH102 LanaH102 is offline
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Hello Happytriad. not being critical but there are countless threads with many people in similar environments relating to this. What is it about your advice that you feel you needed to start this thread that countless others lack.
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  #178  
Old 04-21-2017, 01:37 PM
Rockit49 Rockit49 is offline
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Lana,
Why Not?
Ask yourself this first?
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  #179  
Old 04-21-2017, 09:23 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I don't know happytriad's reason for starting this thread, but it certainly has proven to be a popular thread since then, and many people have received good advice here and/or been helped. (Just sayin')
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  #180  
Old 04-22-2017, 12:06 AM
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ArtemisHunt ArtemisHunt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LanaH102 View Post
Hello Happytriad. not being critical but there are countless threads with many people in similar environments relating to this. What is it about your advice that you feel you needed to start this thread that countless others lack.

Wait, are you saying there are oodles of threads/posters living in "successful" triads?
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