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Old 08-19-2009, 09:23 PM
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River River is offline
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Location: NM, USA
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Lightbulb Personal Summaries

Here is a place to post a brief summary of who you are, what your relationship status is--, to give a sense of how much experience you have with polyamory and, if you wish, describe the issue or issues you're thinking through or working with.

The purpose for "Personal Summaries," here, is to act as a quick reminder -- so none of us have to go searching for basics on anyone when we find ourselves scratching our heads. Situations change, and so the introductions page is inadequate sometimes. Here, we can update our situation as time rolls on. (This can be done with the "edit" function of the clubhouse software. In fact, I propose that we each have just one post in this particular topic area!, and update it when necessary.)

Of course, none are expected to provide such a summary if they don't want to. It's purely optional. But let me thank those who will (and do) in advance. My memory isn't as good as it once was.

Edit - August 26,'09:

These personal summary statements may be edited, added to, modified or deleted at will by their authors. Please ask if you have trouble with the technical aspect of the editing process, and most folks here can help.
male, bisexual & biamorous
1 long term male partner of many years.
1 newly forming additional connection.

Last edited by River; 08-26-2009 at 08:58 PM.
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:36 PM
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River River is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 3,424

My name is James, and I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico (USA).

I'm bisexual, but most of my relationship experience is with men -- though I once fell madly in love with my first real girlfriend, "H". I'm not closed to the possibility of a recurrence of hetero-love -- and I don't think my boyfriend of 13 years would fault me for it if it happened. I'm planning to keep him, though adding another love is certainly a possibility. I'm also open to meeting another guy, of course! But I'm not "seeking". I'm just open. That's all.

I'm an outdoor recreation enthusiast, hiker, bicyclist, camper, picnicker, and even backpacker, and Kevin (my partner) is into all of that as well. I enjoy gardening (edibles), cooking, reading, writing, conversation, rockhounding, ... and consider myself a "serious amateur human ecologist and ecological designer" -- all of which I do mainly in a sort of theoretical and philosophical frame. I'm writing my first book -- on land use regulations and the need for reform of these in support of innovative design applications.

My guitar, unfortunately, misses my attentions. It sucks being a beginner at 43.

Edit (9-25-09): Although my partner and I have long identified as polyamorous, neither of us has had a lasting additional partner/relationship, so far. We've both had other romantic experiences in our now many years together, but these were generally of the crash and burn type. I'm still licking some wounds from my first failed attempt. (Well, I didn't fail so much as I was ultimately rejected. And the guy turned out to be more of a schmuck than I wanted to know when in the throes of infatuation.)
male, bisexual & biamorous
1 long term male partner of many years.
1 newly forming additional connection.

Last edited by River; 08-25-2009 at 02:53 PM.
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Old 08-20-2009, 12:27 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
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Default Redsirenn in da house!

You can call me RS, Redsirenn... I am not "out" to many, so my name is kept anonymous... It is an unusual name, so wouldn't be too hard to figure me out.

I am 28, female, live in the great state of CA, and am a musician, artist, and scientist.

I am in a relationship with "Ouroboros". We have been dating for about 10 months now. He introduced me to the concept of polyamory, and I agree with it in theory. We are working on strengthening our relationship with the hope of "opening it up" in the future - in as healthy a way as we can. Neither of us has ever attempted this before, so we are taking it slow, although we both have interests that live out of state. They are aware of our dating.

I have been divorced once... it influences much of my love life to this day. Although, I like to believe in a positive and maturing way. I have much to learn, and much knowledge to divulge due to the severe breakdown of a once loving relationship.... let me reinforce that I have much to learn.

Last edited by redsirenn; 11-06-2009 at 07:32 AM.
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Old 08-20-2009, 02:05 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 504

My name is Scott and I live in the Bay Area in California.

I have been married for five years to Terrie (smilnlol on here - she doesn't really log on anymore) and have two step daughters. In most of my relationships, we have talked about poly (or swinging). I had a couple of real poly relationships including a triad for a few months. I am pretty open about being poly, but my wife still has a hard time with the idea. She wants me to be happy, but she is not sure how to handle it.

I am a scientist working at a government lab. I am into computer games and many miscellaneous geeky activities. I am a born-again atheist, and I sometimes write columns in my local newspaper about religion, gay rights and science.

I guess that is the cliff notes version of me.
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Old 08-20-2009, 06:24 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,733

I'm Redpepper, from Canada.... won't say where on the off chance that those who are looking through here might not have already guessed who I am.

I am short, have red hair and am smiley, happy, love laughing and talking. I am blessed to be well liked and loved by many, which surprises me as I make no apologize for my opinion and life style choices. Perhaps I am delusional Or maybe it is because to be loved by me is to be loved entirely and without limits... once I am your friend I am for life.

I work with people with Developmental/cognative disabilities, am a trained art therapist, an artist, a singer, a swimmer, a runner and love to dance.... I haven't done much of the things I love since I met Mono and Derby as we have been spending vast amounts of time sorting ourselves out.

I love to drive and am slowly working towards becoming a chauffeur. I won't be able to until my boy is older as it requires shift work. I will work towards getting a motor bike license too so I can acquire another way to drive.... Mono rides, but won't take me.... doesn't matter as I would ride anyway eventually.

I am the Life Love (Lilo) of MonoVCPG and a wife to another man also who doesn't write on here. I consider Mono to be my other primary. I also have a girlfriend, Derbyliscious, who has a husband (also poly) and kids. I have another intimate friend who I don't see often due to his circumstance. We have known each other for years. My husband and I both share him. There is also other friends who I am close to but not sexual with. I consider them to be loves of mine.

I have a six year old son, parents that live five houses down who used to have no idea what goes on in this house, but do now after a troublesome "coming out" and in-laws that live a few blocks away... "coming out" to them went over much easier.

Mono doesn't live with us just yet we are taking small steps to that inevitability. It is hard in our city to find housing as housing prices are crazy, so we hope to move him into our house when the time is right.

My husband identifies as bi, me as pansexual and Mono as straight and Derby as bi. Mono is in fact mono and my husband and I have been poly for 12 years...

To date... this being June 2010 I have been on this forum for over a year.
My blog

Last edited by redpepper; 06-21-2010 at 07:36 AM. Reason: stuff changes :)
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Old 08-20-2009, 06:31 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

My story is simple.

I was married for 17 years, 15 good ones, lost connection, fucked up horrendously, ended the life and social environment I knew for 37 years.

Met Redpepper, was allowed to share in her love because she is polyamorous, love her family and we are building something healthy and exciting.

I'm not poly, love being monogamously wired, don’t even understand how poly minds work but worked like hell to become normalized in our V, struggling with the new social environment I am in but am winning.

Poly means nothing to me other than it is a part of my relationship with Redpepper.

Happy as I could ever imagine, moving forward, completely in love with Redpepper

Still here and looking forward to our first Xmas together!!

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 12-09-2009 at 12:40 AM.
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Old 08-20-2009, 11:47 AM
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Ricavaler Ricavaler is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 29

My story is pretty simple right now LOL.
I am 31, have been married for 8 years, and live in South Africa.

We have had 'different' (we were both raised ultra-vanilla) ideas on love and sex to most in our circle right from the start. We started swinging right after getting married, and at the time discussed how we felt about multiple love interests as well. So, in essence we have had an "open" marriage right from the start.

I identify as Bi, hubby is "sexually Bi". He can engage sexually, but does not feel emotional attraction on a Bi level.

Over the years we have each been involved with others on and off as people pass through our lives. I ended my last relationship some time ago after more than 2 years together, and have since not met anyone else. So at this point, it's just the two of us. Ultimately we would love to bring another girl into our lives, the illusive Unicorn, but we are also very open to any other person who may grab our interest

Last edited by Ricavaler; 08-20-2009 at 12:14 PM.
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Old 08-20-2009, 02:58 PM
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Well let's see. I'm 36 years old, a musician, performer and teacher. Lately my teaching has focused on kids with severe autism and I love that work but current circumstances have me underemployed or unemployed. I also have a passion for social justice and work a lot on facilitating group communication, anti-racism awareness and class empowerment issues.

Three years ago, I left my life in Boston where I was teaching, directing choirs and working in theatre to get a masters degree in theatre and start in a new direction in London, England. Life was going pretty great there. Professionally, I was working in theatre, directing a great choir, working in a great special needs teaching situation and was a resident composer for a modern dance company. Personally, I was finally beginning to develop some great relationships and also had a lovely network of chosen family and friends. Alas, I had to leave all of that very abruptly due to visa issues and changes in immigration laws. Having nowhere to go, I landed here in the Orlando area of Florida and moved in with my retired folks. I'm currently biding my time in Florida helping out my folks while I plot my return. Hopefully I'll get back to London soon after the new year.

As far as relationships-I've identified as bi for as long as I can remember. For various reasons pertaining to my fairly scenic life journey, I've been single pretty much all of my life and have never had a long term partnership. Despite not having any romantic partnerships, I've always had a very open and liberated circle of friends and chosen family where poly was the norm among other things, so it never struck me as anything strange or new. So despite my singleness, I've never felt completely alone...just romantically alone.

Before I left London, I became involved with a lovely man in an open marriage and though we only got to see each other rarely, we continue to keep contact and hope to pick up where we left off when I get back. I was also involved with another man and it was beginning to get serious until circumstance made it necessary for me to move back to the states. That's pretty open ended at the moment with no expectations.

Right now, I am dating a lovely married couple and we are all quite fond of each other, but we don't get to see each other very often and we also all know that cirucumstance will eventually take me far away from them once I move back to London.

I hope at some point in my life to have that elusive primary kind of partnership where I can build a life and a home with someone while also being open to other forms of love. Sometimes, when I reflect the path my relationships have taken, it's completely fine and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned in my own way. Other times I grieve for all of the time I've spent alone and fear that I've missed the boat and things won't change. (eh- that comes with being human)

In the meantime, I swim a lot, practice lots of yoga and dance, sing and perform, garden and play with the cutest dog in the world. I'm also training to become a sexuality educator with a program called "Our Whole Lives", a sex ed program that incorporates all forms of love, relationships, genders and sexualities. (Oh yeah, and after recently getting laid off from my crap (well, it wasn't that crap. I did get to work with dolphins...just not into the corporate mentality) theme park job, I'm spending a lot of time job hunting)

(QUICK UPDATE: Just after writing this, I was offered a teaching position at a center for kids with autism. Still hourly work, but a good job with steady hours. I'm looking forward to it!)

Last edited by Ceoli; 08-20-2009 at 09:43 PM.
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Old 08-20-2009, 11:56 PM
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aussielover aussielover is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Home Sweet Home :D
Posts: 262

Since this is an open forum, I will keep my name to just M. As I don't want certain people searching for me.

Anyways, I'm 30, currently in Ontario Canada, deeply in love with my Sunshinegrl and Aussiebloke, who live in Australia and whom I'm going to join in just a few days (see ticker).
For 13 years I identified as a lesbian. Was in an abusive relationship for 11 years which I have recently become strong enough to get out of. The break up of my marriage had nothing to do with anything but my ex and I. I had not been happy for years and years, and even left 3 years ago and, unfortunately, came back after her pleading. Much to my surprise I ended up falling in love with a man, AB, (who'd of known) and I enjoy him and love him as much as I love SG. Just took a bit to wrap my head around after thinking myself a lesbian for so long.

Somehow I seem to have lost a lot of myself in my previous relationship. I used to love to write (stories and poems), sing, cross stich psp (I've lost my mojo) watch movies and listen to music.
I'm more of an indoor person. I prefer small groups to large ones. Somewhat introverted until I get to know people.
I was adopted as a baby, have great adoptive parents and am lucky enough to have a wonderful relationship with my bmom and brother. I have met my bdad and his family. While I adore him, i can not stand the rest of them, and they have made some bad (illigal) choices so I keep them out of my life.

I used to work in sales/customer service but have just quit my job (YAY) in order to prepare to leave my house and move to Oz (YAY YAY). So right now I'm extreemly busy and exhausted by the end of the day from endless cleaning and painting.

Anyways, that's me in a nutshell (ooh Austin powers flash lol sorry)
"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Last edited by aussielover; 08-21-2009 at 12:00 AM.
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Old 08-25-2009, 05:07 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

I'm Seventhcrow, resident ghost in the machine (mod without posting much).

I'm 44 and married to CurlySquirrel (who logs on rarely); we live in Kansas City.

I always wondered why I was supposed to only have one girlfriend when I was young and much preferred the "dating around" paradigm that some old folks advocated to keep youngsters from getting "too serious." It was difficult to find girls who were open to the dating around thing--but then, it seemed pretty difficult to find girls to date at all!

My first marriage was open. When my wife left for an extended trip, she arranged with a friend of ours to stop by and take care of me, and I dated some other women at the time. My current marriage is actively poly, and I've had a girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) during the time we've been married. (Curly was previously in a triad and is interested in finding a girlfriend.)

We do (all-ages) drum corps and we're active Burners. I shoot photos and play bad golf with both silly sticks and plastic discs. I'm Pagan and she's deist.
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