I tend to feel that focussing on one person (at a time, mind you) is what gives depth and intimacy in a relationship. If we start having other people involved in a relationship both emotionally and physically, then that seems like it will reduce the depth and intimacy by dividing it up or, more accurately, spreading it out. This may not be as much of a problem if the multiple relationships are primarily physical, since I can accept the idea that physical pleasure can be focussed on a per occasion basis. However, it is very hard to see how one's love, affection, etc. can be spread across multiple partners in the longterm without somehow reducing the depth. Love may be infinite (not convinced of that, though), but there's a strong impulse in my mono heart to see it as on some way finite.
My bold.
There's the rub, right there. Love is infinite. One can deeply love more than one person at once. Can't you deeply love your sister and your mother? Doesnt a parent (ideally) love each child as deeply as if it was her only child?
To continue the child metaphor...
Many mothers who become pregnant a second time do wonder if they can possibly love the 2nd child as much as they do the first. Once the baby comes, they do. Then of course, at first there is NRE between the mother and the newborn, and she must make an effort to pay enough attention to the older child. But once the dust settles, this become effortless.
It can seem like more work parenting/loving 2 children, but in the long run, having 2 (or more) kids, is actually good for everyone... the siblings entertain each other, learn from each other, and the parents get to see the first child is her own person (as is the 2nd child), born w unique qualities, and not just a product of their (im)perfect parenting.
I'm not interested in the extra work/risks/energy spent involved in having multiple partners (both balancing them and just the normal work for maintaining any relationship) for something I feel I already have with Erato. If that makes sense?
So, I guess she spreads her own infinite love to other people, I spread mine in a different way. I spread it to fill gaps with other people, without spreading it to the other people. Because I don't want it, I'm not interested in the extra work/risks/energy spent involved in having multiple partners (both balancing them and just the normal work for maintaining any relationship) for something I feel I already have with Erato. If that makes sense?
On the other hand, and introvert (especially an extreme introvert) could be overwhelmed just by the thought of having to maintain multiple relationships. Rather than being something that enhances their life, it would feel like a burden if they were expected to develop and maintain multiple relationships.
Just a thought !!
I'm introverted and poly. Just sayin'.
I don't mean to simplify things, but one of the factors that could contribute to whether or not a person desires multiple partners could be whether they are an introvert or an extrovert. An extrovert takes pleasure in multiple relationships (friendships and acquaintances) and in fact could feel unfulfilled when not able to participate in this type of multiple relationships. For some extroverts (especially if a person is an extreme extrovert) the desire for several intimate partners just seems natural.
On the other hand, and introvert (especially an extreme introvert) could be overwhelmed just by the thought of having to maintain multiple relationships. Rather than being something that enhances their life, it would feel like a burden if they were expected to develop and maintain multiple relationships.
Just a thought !!
I'm introverted and poly. Just sayin'.
And as Erato said, she's...a tad introverted, yeah. She's adorably shy.
*blushes furiously and throws heart-shaped plushies at Bold* No you are.