I know its just a garden variety affair, but...

I love this description because I honestly feel like I was coming out of the closet. I had to tell my fiance that I feel this way and I know it doesn`t match society`s norms, but its how I feel.

Week one of being open and honest is kind of hurting my fiance because he is trying to accept it, but its going so so so well. I feel like a part must of have known he would accept this and this is why I want him as a life partner.
 
I understand where you are...

I love B with my heart and soul but thankfully for us I could never lie to him... we were swingers before J came into our life... and I was open and honest with B from day one about "wanting to do J"... and B always said go for it.

It was almost a joke... but then it started happening and J and I have developed a deep bond... and we are friends... I have spent time alone with him with B's knowledge and consent... this is KILLING B and we have had discussion upon discussion about this... BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED LYING TO him.

WhatamIdoing,

I want to direct your attention to your statement: "B always said go for it.."

If Be did not MEAN it, B should not have said it. Perhaps B needs to deal with the feelings and growth that comes with being poly.

I don't think you should waste energy feeling so bad for B or let yourself be so manipulated by B with these guilt trips. Remember B said "GO FOR IT." So if I were in your position, I would take the advice and "go for it".... and stop letting B manipulate the situation.

I apologize for getting off the topic of the OP in this thread.
 
I love this description because I honestly feel like I was coming out of the closet. I had to tell my fiance that I feel this way and I know it doesn`t match society`s norms, but its how I feel.

Week one of being open and honest is kind of hurting my fiance because he is trying to accept it, but its going so so so well. I feel like a part must of have known he would accept this and this is why I want him as a life partner.

unwitty,

I am glad to hear you have chosen to be honest with your fiance. I am wondering how well has T been informed about the polyamory situation going on. Are you being honest with both of them?
 
WhatamIdoing,

I want to direct your attention to your statement: "B always said go for it.."

If Be did not MEAN it, B should not have said it. Perhaps B needs to deal with the feelings and growth that comes with being poly.

WhatamIdoing has a thread that explains B was fine with her swinging and she should go for it... poly was not a part of their original agreement...
 
Tonberry said:
I disagree. In my opinion, a polyamorous relationship is consensual non-monogamy, yes. However, an individual being polyamorous just mean they have the ability to love more than one person at the same time. So cheating doesn't mean you are not polyamorous.

You're dead on with that critique. It's a view I share myself, being both single and poly. I was a little... aggitated... when I wrote that. Thanks for the redirection. :)
 
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