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Old 04-04-2011, 09:12 PM
MindfulAgony's Avatar
MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 192

Who knew that such a "common" option would be so unpopular here?

But, I too, abhor the veto option. If I were married, desperate to live out my poly dreams, then I might accept the veto option to make it feel more safe to go there. But, I'm not sure that it is as helpful as we might believe.

In the end, if you can't trust my judgment about people, you need to be willing to work with me as I learn to be a better judge. Deciding for me is not particularly helpful. I realize that this willingness might not be without some pain. But, it is pain that could help strengthen the relationship because of the trust given, wisdom shared, and stick with me through those growing pains.

If I'm a fool and can't learn, then you might as well get out while you can anyway...
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“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
-Pema Chodron
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agreements, contracts, control issues, envy, jealous, jealousy, metamour concerns, new to poly, nre, relationship dynamics, relationship issues, secondaries, secondary, sex, veto, veto policy, veto power, vetos

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