We are back to our natural peace. What a weird thing to say, but it's true.
We've struggled through some difficult conversations, but ultimately concluded that there wasn't anything significant changing. The difficult conversations were a matter of clarifying what different words meant to Mr LR and me. We agreed, our relationship is poly. Mostly he was just concerned as to what would change. (We had been quarantined for a large part of the last 2 years).
He and GG get along well. We already spend our time together as a family for summer camping, family vacations, and holidays.
- I am still splitting time between the house where GG, Sour Pea, Sweet Pea, and Salty Pea live, and the condo where Mr. LR is.
- I got a new job that pays almost $10/hour more than the previous one.
- I started my PhD program and finished the first seven week session with an A grade.
Mr. LR has been tentatively talking to a sweet lady. He's unsure how he feels about taking any romantic/sexual steps himself. She is open to it and friendly with both of us. She's a great person, with prior experience in open relationships. Her SO died a little over a year ago and she is not interested in getting into an escalator-style relationship at this time. But she is open to having more than platonic activities with a trusted friend. She is bisexual.
I am not interested, but Mr LR is on the fence. Regardless, we all get along. She has come out to the house as well, and hung out with GG and the kids and me. Everyone gets along well, which is awesome.
GG hasn't changed his stance on what he wants or doesn't want. He isn't interested in being with anyone but me. He has grown to enjoy his independence much more and he has a much busier life now, which is good. Our time apart was important for his growth and we have been able to rebuild our friendship on stronger ground. He chooses not to label our current relationship. It "just is," which works well for me, too.
Mostly, there's been a lot of laughter and joy in the last couple years. At the height of the "shitstorm" this summer, there was no yelling, no threats, no volatility, just some tears as fears and prior trauma was expressed. The awesome part was having all of us, me, GG, Mr. LR, the lady friend, all talking through the emotions and trauma together, supportive of each other, just kind and considerate and caring, without blame or caustic attitudes.
Even the adult kids noticed that we all continued to talk and work and spend time together while we discussed difficult topics, without any REAL DRAMA. What a fucking concept. Adults taking on adult issues and handling them like mature adults.
Mr. LR has been getting out more. He's much more of an extrovert than I am and he has much more "free" time to devote to the world. I have been buckling down, with school starting back up.
I am continuing to work on major upgrades on the house. I got all of the windows replaced. I will be finishing up the flooring upstairs in the next couple weeks. The bathroom is almost finished. The boys painted the ceilings. GG has been working on those projects side-by-side with me and we have had some good talks while we work. It's been so nice to be able to get projects done without fighting.
We were all sitting around talking about how much we have gotten done in the last year-and-a-half. We have done more in this short time than we were able to get done in the whole 20 years prior. Just being able to sit and make a plan together and then everyone working together without anyone dragging their feet or undermining the projects has made a huge difference.
Sour Pea is killing it in her first year of high school. She continues to amaze. A couple weeks back, GG went to tears trying to explain to me that he is amazed by her. He was explaining how much she impresses him and how relieved he is that she is so smart, secure and stable in her beliefs and in who she is. She's so confident about what she wants and especially what she does not want in life. It was pretty sweet watching him. She's an amazing kid. Almost grown.
Sweet Pea was talking to me about her and just grinning from ear to ear in his personal pride over how awesome she is and that he got to play a part in that, as the big brother who was still living at home throughout her whole life. For my part, I am proud of all the kids. But I agree with Sweet Pea and GG, Sour Pea got the benefit of having much more stability and it shows in her willingness to speak her mind and her ability to do so in a way that makes people listen.
GG, Mr. LR and I flew to Seattle with Sour Pea to see Green Day, Weezer and Fall Out Boy in concert. It was awesome. So much laughter. The best part was when Green Day played her favorite song and she flung herself into my arms, tears running down her face, screaming, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MOMMY." Mr. LR got pictures of that moment, and GG cried also, just watching. I grinned and held her in my arms and whispered, "I love you too" in her ear. So awesome when your teenager screams that across a stadium. LOL!