I am completely in love with my primary partner but just under a year ago we moved in together and since then he has been treating me like his mother. Everything 'real world' thing in the relationship is my responsibility. I don't want to end things but I am worried that the stress of holding it all together is going to push me over the edge and after several serious conversations very little has changed.
During this time I have been leaning very heavily on my secondary partner, who unusually enough I have been with longer than my primary. When we are together he understands how much stress I am under and while I will do things for him, hell even loaned him money, he comforts me during my times of serious stress. I don't want to go into the details but I had something pretty awful happen to me recently, when I told my primary he got even more upset then I was and I ended up comforting him. I later had to call my secondary and cry and have them calm me down and tell me things were going to be ok.
I do not want to end this relationship, I am just afraid it is getting unhealthy for me, I don't know how to explain how things are other than I feel like his mother (who he was living with before we moved in). I work multiple jobs, while he works one day a week and acts like it is the biggest inconvenience to him. As terrified as I am about ending the relationship. I really hope I do not want to, but I have told myself I am giving us until our lease is up to get his life in order. Now I wonder what will happen to my secondary relationship if that happens. We were super casual in the beginning (when I started seeing my primary) things are not like that anymore. While I am not at the same commitment level as his other partners it very serious and sort of just a matter of time. I don't want to end things with my primary and then end up leaning so heavily on my secondary that is messes up that relationship as well.
It is just a not normal situation (well parts of it are) and being the overly proactive person I am I want to know if anyone can relate to what is going on with me and how thing ended up going for them. I will say I never expect my secondary to become a primary I would be looking for another primary when I was ready, god forbid that happens.
Really despite this whole post I do not want a break up, I want him to get things together enough we can work it out and stay together but I am worried after recent things.
During this time I have been leaning very heavily on my secondary partner, who unusually enough I have been with longer than my primary. When we are together he understands how much stress I am under and while I will do things for him, hell even loaned him money, he comforts me during my times of serious stress. I don't want to go into the details but I had something pretty awful happen to me recently, when I told my primary he got even more upset then I was and I ended up comforting him. I later had to call my secondary and cry and have them calm me down and tell me things were going to be ok.
I do not want to end this relationship, I am just afraid it is getting unhealthy for me, I don't know how to explain how things are other than I feel like his mother (who he was living with before we moved in). I work multiple jobs, while he works one day a week and acts like it is the biggest inconvenience to him. As terrified as I am about ending the relationship. I really hope I do not want to, but I have told myself I am giving us until our lease is up to get his life in order. Now I wonder what will happen to my secondary relationship if that happens. We were super casual in the beginning (when I started seeing my primary) things are not like that anymore. While I am not at the same commitment level as his other partners it very serious and sort of just a matter of time. I don't want to end things with my primary and then end up leaning so heavily on my secondary that is messes up that relationship as well.
It is just a not normal situation (well parts of it are) and being the overly proactive person I am I want to know if anyone can relate to what is going on with me and how thing ended up going for them. I will say I never expect my secondary to become a primary I would be looking for another primary when I was ready, god forbid that happens.
Really despite this whole post I do not want a break up, I want him to get things together enough we can work it out and stay together but I am worried after recent things.