♥Bi-Wife seeking Lady for Triad♥

Insomuch as anything other than "where do I sign up?" is off-topic for the thread, yes.

I find the best thing to do is to treat the Dating and Friendships forum as a Unicorn Hunter containment zone. It's ok to observe from a distance with varying degrees of horror, but don't enter and engage.

This ^ is a lesson I need to learn....arrrgh! :eek:
 
Are you willing to date anyone despite level of personality, physical attraction, intellect, drive, & aspirations or lack thereof so as long as they're interested in you? Would you suggest this lack of discernment for your children? Are you suggesting we lower our standards to appease those who aren't a fit with us?

I said nothing of the sort, but if you refuse to accept it, I can't possibly do more to show you. I am talking from the pov of someone reading your post, which I did, with an open mind, we have Unicorn hunters coming out of our ears in this section of the forum, did you even bother to read a few posts before you wrote your amazingly original post? Of course you didn't, you come on here thinking that you are saying something new and then get defensive when you are challenged, well sorry dude you can join the long line of couples who went before you thinking the exact same thing.

If you get any replies to it at all I will be prepared to eat my words but I can assure you, no one would be interested in what you are offering, not because there is no one who fits your Unicorn mould, but because of the way you write it. It comes across badly and your defensive replies just add to that, tell me, who do you think would be attracted to you, who has such little self esteem?


The 50% divorce rate in our country is evidence that Millions of people make the mistake of not being honest enough with others & themselves,

Of course, the high divorce rate is down entirely to not being honest about what one wants...nothing else, nothing at all...there you go, you have solved the problem of marital discord, now you can go forth and teach people as you clearly have all the answers.....
I didn't need to be persuaded when I fell in love with my wife. Honestly, I was fighting the love I felt--for my then friend,

Exactly, Dude, she was your FRIEND, you did not advertise for her like you are ordering from Friends.com!
If you re-write that post from a monogamy pov do you think she would have responded to it...in fact why don't you and Mrs UnicornHunter, give that a go, have a little exercise, re-write your OP as if for monogamy tell me how enticing it looks to you.

We've had a triad before & are optimistic we will again; without lowering our standards.

There is a world of difference between falling into something with a friend you have known (same as your wife)...and seeking Unicorns, trust me, you won't find anyone posting such a profile, putting hearts in it makes no difference, it doesn't make it look any better.....

I've had an extensive variety of lovers at any given time.

Looking more attractive every moment..........

My reputation was to sIf one were to attempt to deduce your & Cindie's lives based on My life experiences, they would conclude neither of you are truly poly at all.

And with that one line you lose any minute credibility you had.

Good luck to you both, I hope you come back and tell us of the great success you are having taking this road but somehow...I doubt it.

Toodle pip!

Natja
 
If one were to attempt to deduce your & Cindie's lives based on My life experiences, they would conclude neither of you are truly poly at all.

That statement doesn't even make any sense! Truly poly, LOL.


All we were doing here was giving you feedback about your terribly-written ad. You are unicorn hunters, whether you realize it or not. What you are searching for is a fantasy that doesn't exist. Though it may not be impossible that someone you could both get along with is out there, it is highly improbable that your ad will bring someone so specific to you. It's not like placing an order in a catalog. I cannot imagine any single woman reading it and saying, "Oh goody! Where do I sign up?"

You are so focused and fixated on placing your order for your imaginary busty, big-assed, long-haired, bisexual, devoted, homemaking unicorn who gives massages and will anchor you and appreciate your wild past, etc., etc., that you are being dense about what we're telling you and your answers are more nonsensical each time you respond.

Oh well, good luck. Come back and prove us wrong!
 
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Op you have been nothing but rude since you first posted on this board.

Btw in the age of smartphones it is easy to post to a message board while doing other things as I am right now. I am actually in line at Walmart. So your theory that just because someone has time to post to the forums they can't be poly is false.

Define Polyamory for me. I am curious what you believe that is. And what the heck is this poly lifestyle folks mainly newbies keep throwing around. The reason I ask is because from what I have seen there is no lifestyle.

I am sure you're going to tell me I am not poly.. since I am not a bisexual woman.
 
It's so sad to see so many new people attacked when they make their first post. Just because a couple is looking for a woman doesn't make them a unicorn hunter,, I think you all just love bashing people with that term. It took me and mine a lot of courage and a lot of thinking and research, to gather courage and make a post. When we did post we were bashed like this as well. Where is all this anger generated from? We're you not accepted in a relationship? Why does the site admin allow newcomers to be bashed and made fun of?
 
. Just because a couple is looking for a woman doesn't make them a unicorn hunter,

Except they are, did you read that first post? Is there any more classic a description of Unicorn Hunting than this one? Please if there is something in this post which excuses them from the Unicorn Hunting group please point it out because I can't see it.

And also please note, I did not make fun of them, I gave them compassionate advice that they chose to dismiss because they know better of course.
 
It's so sad to see so many new people attacked when they make their first post. Just because a couple is looking for a woman doesn't make them a unicorn hunter,, I think you all just love bashing people with that term. It took me and mine a lot of courage and a lot of thinking and research, to gather courage and make a post. When we did post we were bashed like this as well. Where is all this anger generated from? We're you not accepted in a relationship? Why does the site admin allow newcomers to be bashed and made fun of?


Thank you DanHank :)

I've concluded that most of the people posting actually have little to no actual active experience in the community, but simply speculate from their keyboards or phone.

We've already explained our circumstances. Anything from here is just reiteration to people incapable or unwilling to comprehend. It's good know someone understands. Thank you again :D
 
Op you have been nothing but rude since you first posted on this board.

You may want to review what you read:

  1. We were attacked.
  2. I gave Cindie the benefit of doubt.
  3. Then we responded & continue to respond in kind.

Others lacking who self esteem may allow people to walk over them, but we do not. We're only as rude to others, as they are to us.

Btw in the age of smartphones it is easy to post to a message board while doing other things as I am right now. I am actually in line at Walmart. So your theory that just because someone has time to post to the forums they can't be poly is false.

First off, despite the technology, not even if I were telepathic would I've the time to spend so long on any forum when single. It's called a having life. I had plenty of better things to do with my smartphone when single, & trust me...I did much better things with the company I keep.

Define Polyamory for me. I am curious what you believe that is. And what the heck is this poly lifestyle folks mainly newbies keep throwing around. The reason I ask is because from what I have seen there is no lifestyle.

If you want a definition of Polyamory from a newbie you have to find & ask one. However from someone like me, a poly is someone who carries on several relationships simultaneously with all who partake having full knowledge of the other relationships & often are intermingled with each other. The distinction of Polyamory from say Swinging, is a polyamorous relationship doesn't remain casual, but deepens.

It sounds so clinical when described by me. The only way to truly understand is, instead of texting on your phone while on line at Walmart, begin a conversation with someone you're attracted to in line. See where it goes with the person; if anywhere. I always start with a Hello or Hi.

I am sure you're going to tell me I am not poly.. since I am not a bisexual woman.

Wow... I suggest you reread my OP. My wife is bi, & I'm a straight male. The poly experiences I alluded to were mine; not hers. Here's an example: What were you doing between Saturday night & early Sunday morning? Would it be wrong to guess it was not spent with one of your normal or poly lovers? Exactly.

That's the difference between you & I. Perhaps like many of our posters on this thread, it's evident you're just poly-adjacent or poly-aspirant; lacking empirically in practice.

Antagonism isn't my aim here, but expect as much or more from me as you send my way. I hope we understand one another Dagferi.:cool:
 
What is the difference between a "normal" lover and a "poly" lover?

What is it about saturday night and early sunday morning that makes the determination between whether someone is "poly-adjacent" or "poly aspirant" (those are new terms to me, is it supposed to mean a person who wishes they were in more than one relationship? I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth).

Also, are you trying to say that dagferi is not really poly because if she were, she would be on a date or getting laid instead of posting on here?

If you say i am "attacking" you, you are wrong. I'm asking questions because i want to understand what the HECK you are talking about.

By the way, i am in 2 long term relationships and got laid by a new person friday, saturday, and Sunday, then came home and got fucked by my spouse, so you can talk to me like the equals that we are. But i also posted on this forum in between orgies, so i'm not sure if that makes me poly-adjacent or something else you have up in your real-world, experienced vocabulary.

Aaaaaaaand...... Go!
 
Hehe I spent Saturday night grilling and playing board games with my gf and son. However, I did get laid by my bf Friday morning and by my gf Sunday morning. Sorry to hear I am not a "twue poly."

I did get this advice from the mod Imaginary Illusion back in April

This is just a general notice, not an actual infraction. I'm just using the tool to make sure the subject thread is marked. You're not in trouble...

We don't need to start flame wars and pick on unicorn hunters or really anyone for their preferences in the personals area. It's not the place for discussion or debate about what they're looking for.

To fill in the history of the personals section of the forum, we initially didn't have one, because this wasn't intended as a hookup site. The problem was that people looking for hookups were constantly posting their personal adds in the intros section or other places even when not interested in discussion.

So we created the personals area for those kinds of ads to be placed...so that is doesn't clog up other areas of the forum. So regardless of what it is someone is looking for, or how much it may trigger your own sensibilities, if it's in the personals area, it's best left alone. They'll make their way over to the discussions area eventually if their so inclined. The vast majority will make one or two ad posts, and never be seen again.

So, please just leave the area alone...it's not worth the hassle, and it's pretty much just there as a collection area for the posts that are never going to amount to a useful discussion anyways.

If you do see a personal type ad in the intro section though, please report via regular report post method, and one of us will move it over to the personals area to get it out of the way.

Let me know if you have any further questions.

Cheers,

-II
 
As for what I was doing Saturday into Sunday. I was at home with my children SOLO BECAUSE BOTH MY HUSBAND AND BOYFRIEND WERE WORKING. ONE WORKS 3PM TO 11PM. THE OTHER WORKS 6PM TO 6AM.

Both are off the next 2 to 3 days. Had a family date with my husband and children this morning. Went to breakfast and to see a movie. Right now I am at my boyfriend's house getting ready to crawl in bed with him for some solo time without my kids. This weekend my kids and I will be spending with my boyfriend from Friday to Monday. Our usual routine every other weekend. Unless it is every 6 weeks then the kids stay with hubby.

I am happy with my boyfriend and husband not looking for another partner. Unlike you I didn't have to go trolling online for one. Never have had too.

Maybe you should read my signature or look at my posting history before you suggest I have no right to speak on poly issues. Last time I checked I am the one with multiple life partners.

I don't doubt your love style. I just doubt your integrity.
 
I said nothing of the sort, but if you refuse to accept it, I can't possibly do more to show you. I am talking from the pov of someone reading your post, which I did, with an open mind, we have Unicorn hunters coming out of our ears in this section of the forum, did you even bother to read a few posts before you wrote your amazingly original post?

When single, I read far more demanding posting from online personals. Yet instead of attacking the poster, I went through their list & see what I had. If I had even half of what they required, I took my shot. Whereas people like you, call it Unicorn Hunting, as if the people honest enough to say what they want off the bat are seeking something impossible. That's the difference between others & people like me. I accept the challenges of others, not begrudge them for being honest in what they require. This concepts seems foreign to most posters of this thread. My experience here thus far, has me torn between hilarity & pity for the insecure.

I'm sorry, but I must reiterate. I didn't have this amount of time to spend on forums when single. Maybe I'm just a different animal. Perhaps I'm a Unicorn. Maybe we Unicorns are typically partial to other Unicorns, because those like you try to prevent others like you, from hunting us, because you failed.

...mind Blown.

Sounds like crabs in a barrel to me. The Crab cannot have the Unicorn, because of the crab(s) below it...:(


Of course you didn't, you come on here thinking that you are saying something new and then get defensive when you are challenged, well sorry dude you can join the long line of couples who went before you thinking the exact same thing.

You realize we're not the, "Turn the other cheek type" right Natja? As I mentioned before--essentially, those who have so little self esteem or confidence that our OP has shaken them to the point of attacking or wanting to attack us, aren't what we're seeking from the start.


If you get any replies to it at all I will be prepared to eat my words but I can assure you, no one would be interested in what you are offering, not because there is no one who fits your Unicorn mould, but because of the way you write it. It comes across badly and your defensive replies just add to that, tell me, who do you think would be attracted to you, who has such little self esteem?

Are you suggesting we're immature enough to parade our success just to prove someone wrong? Do you imply we are crabs like you, Natja? My wife & I aren't here to lift people we're uninterested in, from their cynicism & pessimism. Frankly, that's the task of either the person interested in them, or themselves Natja.


Of course, the high divorce rate is down entirely to not being honest about what one wants...nothing else, nothing at all...there you go, you have solved the problem of marital discord, now you can go forth and teach people as you clearly have all the answers.....

Name one divorce or any dissolution of a romance in which dishonesty is not at the root. Can you now see how that kind of naivety would incline us to disregard your input Natja?
You seem to continue promoting dishonesty, instead of allowing candidates to read what's expected of them before they take the first step towards a poster. Isn't this process supposed to be safer & more efficient than being in person? Anyone who aims to disrupts this potential for safety & efficiency, seems preoccupied to engender onto others, the loneliness they suffer without any regard to the OP's circumstances nor the prerequisites set so the OP enjoys a closer match made.

As for teaching others, I've actually taught many. However crabs are often so challenging they're un-teachable without fracturing their stubborn shell. If the Crab's shell breaks, they die & that's not helpful either. ;)


Exactly, Dude, she was your FRIEND, you did not advertise for her like you are ordering from Friends.com!
If you re-write that post from a monogamy pov do you think she would have responded to it...in fact why don't you and Mrs UnicornHunter, give that a go, have a little exercise, re-write your OP as if for monogamy tell me how enticing it looks to you. There is a world of difference between falling into something with a friend you have known (same as your wife)...and seeking Unicorns, trust me, you won't find anyone posting such a profile, putting hearts in it makes no difference, it doesn't make it look any better.....

...I see. You seem rely on deception & suggest we do the same? How's that working out for you so far?
It's best to be clear & concise from the beginning to reduce confusion. We don't need to pretend being something we're not. That's for Crabs.

In case I wasn't clear, she knew about me long before we were ever even acquainted. She knew what I was about, because as you can see...I'm not shy. In all of this imminent potential for disaster, she--just like a confident, reasonable, strong, woman should, steeled herself & took the time learn more about me. We knew or were familiar with many of the same people on campus & work. Although I was as discreet as possible, what most people knew about me was:

  1. He's in Adult Entertainment &...
  2. Perpetually in the company of different women whom aren't modest in their intimacy with him.

That's it. At the time, we shared the same school, job, even the same dance clubs. In each of these places, when she asked about or referred to me, those two things were basically all they had to say about me. According to those & most people, I was just a player.
Hence, as you can see...I'm no stranger to prejudice, & am quick to set someone straight when they address me with their, self-important, pretentious, assumptions.
By studying me from afar, she realized it was also possible to be more open with me. My behaviors validated parts of herself she's wanted to explore but were discouraged by general society. You see, she became my friend because of who she learned I am. That friendship is the bridge led to our marriage; not your conjecture that we were friends first. She studied me & measure if we'd be a good fit first, Natja.

Looking back, she must be a Unicorn because there were & still are numerous people admiring her. Often they claim to be in love with her, without ever having even talking with her in person. The same could be said of me, as we both continuously get, approached in public, nude pictures & videos to our phone of people claiming to like or love us.
This Unicorn idea's subjective at best. The kind of person that may seem impossible to someone who's often endured rejection, may not be so to those rejected less often. In fact, this idea seems also relative to the amount of rejection one received, or presumes they'd receive, from people to which they're attracted. Maybe once a person reaches a threshold of rejection, they become Crabs like you or worse, Troll-Crabs like Cindie.


Looking more attractive every moment..........

The poly-adjacent are often envious people; Crab-people.


And with that one line you lose any minute credibility you had.

I lost credibility with someone who refuses to provide an example of their polyamorism on a Polyamory forum, but attacks posters when presented with the chance to prove themselves?
Woe is me. Woe woe is me. My life is over...:eek:

As I previous stated, we don't believe you & Cindie are truly poly at all. I personally think you're just a spectator. It was that moment, I realized not to take anything you share to heart; poly-adjacent. Call it a loss in credibility in you, or whatever you want. I'm quite apathetic towards you at the moment.
If your posting numbers were comparable to Cindie's or your comments were as cliché, baseless, & mediocre as that Crab Emm's, we wouldn't even address you, & you know it.

Good luck to you both, I hope you come back and tell us of the great success you are having taking this road but somehow...I doubt it.

Thank you Natja. We too hope you find success without, pretending to be someone else or lowering your standards to escape loneliness by relationships that will only lead you back to solitude. We too doubt you can.

Onward & upward :cool:
 
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As for what I was doing Saturday into Sunday. I was at home with my children SOLO BECAUSE BOTH MY HUSBAND AND BOYFRIEND WERE WORKING. ONE WORKS 3PM TO 11PM. THE OTHER WORKS 6PM TO 6AM.

Both are off the next 2 to 3 days. Had a family date with my husband and children this morning. Went to breakfast and to see a movie. Right now I am at my boyfriend's house getting ready to crawl in bed with him for some solo time without my kids. This weekend my kids and I will be spending with my boyfriend from Friday to Monday. Our usual routine every other weekend. Unless it is every 6 weeks then the kids stay with hubby.

I am happy with my boyfriend and husband not looking for another partner. Unlike you I didn't have to go trolling online for one. Never have had too.

Maybe you should read my signature or look at my posting history before you suggest I have no right to speak on poly issues. Last time I checked I am the one with multiple life partners.

I don't doubt your love style. I just doubt your integrity.

Now you understand what it means to be a victim of presumption, maybe you take a moment to Think before you attack strangers who've done no harm to you. How does it feel Dagferi? Do you comprehend how that causes oneself to uncomfortably share of themselves details they ordinarily wouldn't? Can you now value how essential being conscientious is when replying to someone, because they may respond in the very manner you've initiated?

Those are my points with you, because honestly I couldn't care less about you, & vice versa. Right? Exactly.

Anyways...

Rhetorically, why would you doubt my integrity when I've only been honest, & believe your negative opinion of any importance to me?

I'm done with you. Thank you for your time Dagferi.
 
Lol those details I would share anytime ..

Proof happy healthy fair poly vee relationships exist.. gasp the horror.

You have not made me uncomfortable.. you just proved my points with your asinine replies. Thanks for doing the heavy lifting for me.

Proves the old saying give someone enough rope they will hang themselves.

You have shown your true colors good luck with the hunt now. Any woman worth her salt will run the opposite direction.

Good luck to you.
 
Lol those details I would share anytime ..

Proof happy healthy fair poly vee relationships exist.. gasp the horror.

You have not made me uncomfortable.. you just proved my points with your asinine replies. Thanks for doing the heavy lifting for me.

Proves the old saying give someone enough rope they will hang themselves.

You have shown your true colors good luck with the hunt now. Any woman worth her salt will run the opposite direction.

Good luck to you.

Really? Where else in this forum did you delineate your entire working schedule to a stranger who has never had any interest in you? Did we approach you, or you to us?

BTW, that 60/40 ratio may be sufficient for you & I'm glad you're satisfied with those numbers. However when we had our first LTR triad, we all lived together. There was no separation.

Here's your rope back Dagferi. Why not use it to rope in your 3rd full time or are you afraid that such commitment would disprove your happiness? Exactly.

We work from home dear. We can do this dance throughout the day, exposing your foolishness via your replies then prompting you to do so again like some Palov experiment--like with Cindie (notice her begging for attention from us she's probably unaware she'll never gain), or you can save yourself the embarrassment.

Your choice.
 
Wow, I don't think I have seen my username typed out so many times either....I grew bored of seeing it to be honest, not that I read much of that little exercise in textual masturbation.

So much aggression and attack, attack, attack....bet you are just reeling in the unicorns with your little diatribe OP? Does it make you feel like a big strong man eh? My experience of men who engage in such a way is they are usually painfully insecure and like to throw out the very traits they like to accuse other's of. You must be lonely, you must be insecure...blah blah blah....

You must be bit of a sad case who doesn't have the confidence to see his wife in a relationship without him present.....Maybe you are afraid she would leave you because she is so way out of your league?
Perhaps your past makes you insecure eh??

You see OP, anyone can make nonsense up from a few words on a keyboard, it is meaningless. You don't know any of us and your words do not hurt us, most of us are not here looking for partners, you are, therefore you are only hurting yourself or wait and yes, your wife, by engaging in such behaviour. Or do you honestly think this ad is a success...

Toodle pip you totally engaging, handsome, charming, lovely fellow...bet the girls are just throwing themselves on you innit Mr. Oilpainting?

Oooh yes I see it now......

*cough*
 
You must be bit of a sad case who doesn't have the confidence to see his wife in a relationship without him present.....Maybe you are afraid she would leave you because she is so way out of your league?
Perhaps your past makes you insecure eh??

That would be certainly true, if there were times we didn't play apart from each other. We're Swingers too remember? Nice try Natja, but you missed.:cool:
 
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