I am currently in a poly-relationship (of sorts) and have been for the past...six months or so. I say "of sorts" because I am in a relationship with J, who is married to C. C and I are friends and love each other in a friend-only sense, while J and I love each other in a relationship sense.
Lately, I've discovered that the closer I grow, emotionally, to J, the harder it is for me to accept my role as secondary in the triad. I've expressed this concern to J in an attempt to be open and honest (this is my very first experience with a poly-relationship) with him about the status of our relationship.
He claims that I am only a "secondary" in my own head, that there is no difference between OUR relationship and THEIR relationship. From a practical standpoint, I don't believe this because they share resources and time and physical space that J and I don't have (they live together and I am away from them while I'm finishing school).
Does anyone have any advice about how to express my concerns in a different way? I don't doubt that he views C and I as "equals" in terms of his love toward us, but in my mind, that does not necessarily mean we are actually "equals".
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated
Lately, I've discovered that the closer I grow, emotionally, to J, the harder it is for me to accept my role as secondary in the triad. I've expressed this concern to J in an attempt to be open and honest (this is my very first experience with a poly-relationship) with him about the status of our relationship.
He claims that I am only a "secondary" in my own head, that there is no difference between OUR relationship and THEIR relationship. From a practical standpoint, I don't believe this because they share resources and time and physical space that J and I don't have (they live together and I am away from them while I'm finishing school).
Does anyone have any advice about how to express my concerns in a different way? I don't doubt that he views C and I as "equals" in terms of his love toward us, but in my mind, that does not necessarily mean we are actually "equals".
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated