Greetings!
I'm certainly new to all of this, but the more I explore polyamory the more I feel it syncs with me. I've considered myself open to polyamory for the past couple of years.
Issue is, I've tried to discuss this with my wife but when the conversation becomes serious she becomes upset more often than not, and very hurt. As far as I understand from her, she feels like polyamory is sex-driven (even after watching documentaries and such with her about the topic) and that I don't want to honor my marriage vows to her. I've tried to explain that this desire for me stems from wanting to connect to more than one woman. As much as I love her, every person is different and I've become increasingly aware of my desire to connect with others along with my wife.
The only sort of interest that stems from her for opening our marriage is her having a boyfriend, but me not having a girlfriend. I'm certainly open to her having another relationship for sure, but not when a double standard is in effect in which I cannot pursue an additional relationship.
Because of her getting angry and upset, I tend to not bring it up anymore. So much so that I feel forced to back-peddle and stress that I simply was, "open to the conversation of polyamory," and that I don't want to actively pursue it. I know it's a lie, but I want to keep the peace. I have zero interest in pursuing anything behind her back. I want to love others for sure, but not without her consent and not at the expense of losing her and ruining my relationship with her and potentially our children.
I guess I just don't know how to proceed. I suppose I'm just mostly curious if anyone else has experienced this and have worked through this with their spouse. Not necessarily a means to convince her, but I just don't know how to convey to her how my heart feels without it inadvertently hurting her.
I feel like I don't make sense when I talk about this, so my apologies for my rambling and venting. Thanks for taking the time to read!
I'm certainly new to all of this, but the more I explore polyamory the more I feel it syncs with me. I've considered myself open to polyamory for the past couple of years.
Issue is, I've tried to discuss this with my wife but when the conversation becomes serious she becomes upset more often than not, and very hurt. As far as I understand from her, she feels like polyamory is sex-driven (even after watching documentaries and such with her about the topic) and that I don't want to honor my marriage vows to her. I've tried to explain that this desire for me stems from wanting to connect to more than one woman. As much as I love her, every person is different and I've become increasingly aware of my desire to connect with others along with my wife.
The only sort of interest that stems from her for opening our marriage is her having a boyfriend, but me not having a girlfriend. I'm certainly open to her having another relationship for sure, but not when a double standard is in effect in which I cannot pursue an additional relationship.
Because of her getting angry and upset, I tend to not bring it up anymore. So much so that I feel forced to back-peddle and stress that I simply was, "open to the conversation of polyamory," and that I don't want to actively pursue it. I know it's a lie, but I want to keep the peace. I have zero interest in pursuing anything behind her back. I want to love others for sure, but not without her consent and not at the expense of losing her and ruining my relationship with her and potentially our children.
I guess I just don't know how to proceed. I suppose I'm just mostly curious if anyone else has experienced this and have worked through this with their spouse. Not necessarily a means to convince her, but I just don't know how to convey to her how my heart feels without it inadvertently hurting her.
I feel like I don't make sense when I talk about this, so my apologies for my rambling and venting. Thanks for taking the time to read!