Hi there
I am very new to polyamory...
I am a 33 year old woman who has always avoided serious relationships. Traditional lifestyles have always somehow scared me.
A few years ago I was dumped by S for an ex-girlfriend after a very short and intense relationship. And even though it was short it somehow changed how i viewed having someone in my life.
Two months ago we met up and the sparks were immediately flying again.
At the time I was juggeling a few unserious relationships.
He told me pretty much right away that he had been in an open relationship with the ex he left me for, something that had worked out very badly. He had ended up hurting the other woman involved and didn't want to have primaries and secondaries. But wanted to live polyamorously. I told him that I hadn't considered it. But it didn't feel off, after all I was living a pretty open lifestyle. I also told him that I didn't know if would keep feeling that way - I still don't - how do you know?.
He told me that he had a date arranged that he wanted to cancel because he felt like being monogamous with me right now. I had encouraged him to go out on the date so that I could "get used to it". But he didn't want to.
Even though he didn't want me to, I have discontinued the other relationships I had going.
This has fastly become much more serious than anything I have ever had in my life before. He has met my parents and friends already. After two weeks he asked me to go on a vacation with him. He practically lives in my apartment, we spend all our free time together.
I am happy but still uncertain. Even though he has been the one driving this relationship forward (I am still a bit burned from the last time we did this) he refuses to call me his girlfriend.
The first time and only time I have met som of his friends it started out disastrously. The girl who had been the secondary in his last relationship was there and she had not been warned about my existence. I walked right in on them talking and he introduced us as: "M(her) the one i was involved with while I was with my last girlfriend", and "A(me) the one I'm involved with now". She looked like she wanted to flee the room, and I sent him back to talk to her, while I stayed away.
In the situation my feelings went to her, and my first thought was that he wasn't ready to be poly if he handled things that badly.
He is giving me whiplash. But I am in deep.
I am very new to polyamory...
I am a 33 year old woman who has always avoided serious relationships. Traditional lifestyles have always somehow scared me.
A few years ago I was dumped by S for an ex-girlfriend after a very short and intense relationship. And even though it was short it somehow changed how i viewed having someone in my life.
Two months ago we met up and the sparks were immediately flying again.
At the time I was juggeling a few unserious relationships.
He told me pretty much right away that he had been in an open relationship with the ex he left me for, something that had worked out very badly. He had ended up hurting the other woman involved and didn't want to have primaries and secondaries. But wanted to live polyamorously. I told him that I hadn't considered it. But it didn't feel off, after all I was living a pretty open lifestyle. I also told him that I didn't know if would keep feeling that way - I still don't - how do you know?.
He told me that he had a date arranged that he wanted to cancel because he felt like being monogamous with me right now. I had encouraged him to go out on the date so that I could "get used to it". But he didn't want to.
Even though he didn't want me to, I have discontinued the other relationships I had going.
This has fastly become much more serious than anything I have ever had in my life before. He has met my parents and friends already. After two weeks he asked me to go on a vacation with him. He practically lives in my apartment, we spend all our free time together.
I am happy but still uncertain. Even though he has been the one driving this relationship forward (I am still a bit burned from the last time we did this) he refuses to call me his girlfriend.
The first time and only time I have met som of his friends it started out disastrously. The girl who had been the secondary in his last relationship was there and she had not been warned about my existence. I walked right in on them talking and he introduced us as: "M(her) the one i was involved with while I was with my last girlfriend", and "A(me) the one I'm involved with now". She looked like she wanted to flee the room, and I sent him back to talk to her, while I stayed away.
In the situation my feelings went to her, and my first thought was that he wasn't ready to be poly if he handled things that badly.
He is giving me whiplash. But I am in deep.