We're a married couple of 10 years, in our early thirties, living in Nashville, who've been discussing and easing into openness for about a year.
We became increasingly comfortable during the past five years of our marriage until the comfort turned into total discomfort, along with the realization that our relationship and we as individuals were being smothered to death.
Finally, one night at the dinner table and amidst the silence my wife blurted out "Would it make you happy if I let you flirt with another woman?" Naturally my response was one of confusion and extreme caution... "Umm.. Uh.. What do you mean?" lol. But, I found she was being sincere rather than sarcastic. Well, things progressed in our talks and discussions and we decided to tip-toe into openness.
Since then we've both met and talked with a few other people, and I've gone on a few dates. My wife now attends dancing classes with handsome latino men, which we both get a kick out of, her more than me, I am sure. Ha! I dance with her occasionally, and I used to be far too reserved for that. Plus I have competition now!
What amazes me is how the simple act of 'opening the door of the cage' and allowing each other to fly has healed our relationship in this way. We are now together simply because we love each other and choose to be, not because of a marriage contract or a 'moral' obligation imposed on us by a confused society. What a kill-joy that shit was!
We have not had sex with other people yet, however we are not closed to that possibility. It obviously is not our primary focus, hence our avoidance of the swinging scene. Whatever fulfills and grows our souls at the moment, that is our focus.
We became increasingly comfortable during the past five years of our marriage until the comfort turned into total discomfort, along with the realization that our relationship and we as individuals were being smothered to death.
Finally, one night at the dinner table and amidst the silence my wife blurted out "Would it make you happy if I let you flirt with another woman?" Naturally my response was one of confusion and extreme caution... "Umm.. Uh.. What do you mean?" lol. But, I found she was being sincere rather than sarcastic. Well, things progressed in our talks and discussions and we decided to tip-toe into openness.
Since then we've both met and talked with a few other people, and I've gone on a few dates. My wife now attends dancing classes with handsome latino men, which we both get a kick out of, her more than me, I am sure. Ha! I dance with her occasionally, and I used to be far too reserved for that. Plus I have competition now!
What amazes me is how the simple act of 'opening the door of the cage' and allowing each other to fly has healed our relationship in this way. We are now together simply because we love each other and choose to be, not because of a marriage contract or a 'moral' obligation imposed on us by a confused society. What a kill-joy that shit was!
We have not had sex with other people yet, however we are not closed to that possibility. It obviously is not our primary focus, hence our avoidance of the swinging scene. Whatever fulfills and grows our souls at the moment, that is our focus.
Last edited: