It's not overly picky, just normal stuff (smart, anti-establishment....), that sort of stuff.
*giggle* I like how you refer to "anti-establishment" as "normal stuff" ... since, by definition, if it's "normal" then it's not "anti-establishment" ... but I digress.
It appears to me that, or rather the ones I have talked to about it, that most men want a monogamous relationship. Where the female in the relationship is only their partner. What about just plain sex. Is that possible to do in a poly-relationship? I feel like, at first, no-strings-attached safe-sex, might be better for me right now.
I wouldn't too hung up on what to call it. Lots of poly couples happen to have no-strings-attached safe-sex. That specific act is not polyamory, but incidental to it... It's another form of non-monogamy.
My husband and I have a non-monogamous relationship. I'm polyamorous, he's barely monoamorous. He enjoys casual play and sometimes sex. He doesn't form emotional attachments to the men and women he plays with. I don't have casual sex. For me, sex is an intimate thing that I share with people I have feelings for. Different strokes for different folks.
We actually get a lot of people on here saying that their partner is having more luck finding dates, and then generalize it to gender. We get women saying men have it easier, and we get men saying women have it easier. I've seen a pretty even split, actually. I would say it's more accurate to say that outgoing people who say what they want and lay all their cards on the table have it easier than introverted people who are shy and don't want to reveal too much too soon.
For example... did you ask your partner out on your first date, or did he ask you? Is it possible that he's just good at getting dates?
Any suggestions? I know that I have inundated all of you with them. Thank you in advance for your help!
Oh and by the way, upfront is the way to go when you don't have any prior experiences to go on but next time I think I'll wait a little longer into the "screening"j process before asking again.
I actually disagree, for several reasons. One being that getting to know someone, starting to get involved, and then saying "oh, by the way, I'm polyamorous and I have a live-in boyfriend" is deceitful. Another is that you're wasting your time with mono people. Why not get it out in the open from the get-go? I think the secret for meeting people, especially if you're finicky, is to talk with as many people as you can, be honest, be as open as you're comfortable being, and keep at it.